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See No. Hear No. Speak No
15:34 Nov 28 2005
Times Read: 513

Open wounds cry crimson tears as they drip from broken skin slowly

Ripples form and lines stab into my face as each drop explodes reality

Staining my broken skin and tearing into my only escape for I do try

To rise from the drowning cesspool of lies stained with the devil’s grin

The sink quickly fills and my eyes drift behind the scenes and crawl beneath

Broken skin chapped and dry trying to absorb the influence for it keeps me sane

Out of the voice of contention screaming inside of my buried surviving shame

Tears form a river flowing and following the unspoken path back into the darkness

The only thing heard is my silent prayer and the only thing seen is my candle

Held tight within my grasp, gasping exploding visions of hateful division

The only thing felt is the silence darker and the only thing said is goodbye

Grasping fading memories that gray simply with a simple stare into the mirror

Mercy persists me and my lament spreads into my last surviving shred of soul

Who am I and who are you, who are you to tell who am I if I am not the same



Hearing a sound that scares me in the night so I crank the volume to scare the demons

I feel the storm from a mile away and it creeps up into my heart and explodes out of my eyes

Hearing a sound that scares me in the night so I crank the volume to scare the demons

I smell the storm from a mile away and it creeps up into my mind and explodes out of my tears



Something told me to go away and I knew if I didn’t than I would of never left

Walking down a dark alley was the dumbest thing I could ever do but it was your fault

The mind game was yours to control and I never could control myself to irritate

It was all about you and who are you to do this to me when I was your only one

A growl and a grin escapes from a different voice as I run and stab into your head

A passing phase is the closest thing I could come to closer and I do it to get away

Getting through again and I am just a little fuck up, so I would have to call you

A little bitch, nothing to mourn for anymore and I taste the red wine of life

Pouring out of the cup of life and I shall receive everlasting life, forever immortal

What I would give to be this thing you call human, but I am what I am nothing else

Nothing more to gain and the blood is my thirst, your tears are my desire

You cry as I laugh and there is nothing I would trade for the look on your face

What are you so afraid of I thought that you were cut less to the bullets

I know you miss me and so do I but I promise to hit dead center next time



I slam fist against glass and feel the muted sound of glass slowly shattering into my soul

Sometimes I wish I were death, mute and blind; it hurts, it stings, and it burns my spirit

I slam fist against glass and feel the muted sound of glass slowly tearing into my soul

Sometimes I wish I were death, mute and blind; it hurts, it stings, and it burns my guilt

Soul Reticence
14:45 Nov 25 2005
Times Read: 514

My soul leaps out and touches the wall that corners me into another

Feeling and I’m destined to feel this way if I do every time I try

Don’t come this way or call me when your feeling like you want to cry

My way is not the right way but if I could ever show you what I wanted

Than I would only be the one to love you ever again because I did

With so much passion and nothing could ever change that it’s the past

So it happened the way it did and it could never of happened another way

Something I could never do is forgive myself until I saw the monster feeding

On my own blood and shame, I ate away at my own despise and feeling

So what I don’t care if I am fucking narrow minded, only open minded to the truth

If its true than I would rather want it that way because I want it to be this way

My worst fear is my enemy and my worst enemy is my only best friend

My escape is my only way out of the fear and I am free only when I want too

My anger has been the root of the problem for many years and I am so sorry

Crying is a fucking shame and I am not where I wanted to be because I missed you

Dying is a fucking game and I am not where I wanted to be because I hated you

Well I can only say that I am sorry over and over but it won’t do anything

Because every time I say it you come with a hammer and nails to crucify

My agony again and the skin of my soul is left in little pieces along the way



Reticence is the essence of my inner chamber; cold, bleak, foggy and dry

Something as so insecure is so close to the edge and I see the rocks fall

Essence is the performance of my inner chamber; cold, bleak, foggy and dry

Something as so insecure is so close to the edge and I see the bodies fall



Something makes me smile with an empty feeling and nothing is ever the same

So why the big ego and the shadow never bothers me because I look over my shoulder

I am contradicting myself and telling everybody I know to let go and go the other way

One reason why I didn’t trust you but fuck it because the way it was, never was

Losing is something I hate and you’re the one that I never knew I could feel this for

Hate, love and love, hate its all a blurry vision inside a maze even I find my way through

It doesn’t matter if I cry or my tears are nothing to you because I don’t care anymore

I am munching on the very little that is left of my spirit and nothing is ever going to change

Taking over and wanting you again even if you will just cause the very same pain again

Love is something I never knew would be a part of me so its into the room of hate

And I am trying to wander how can I feel if you’re their breathing down my neck

I am sorry for you, and I only knew that this would come to be because it did

Your trying to make me feel worse and I can’t take it anymore, NOOO!

AHHH! Breathing out slowly and feeling the pain shock me into another world

Lies are lies and the truth is truth, so you are a slut and its nowhere from here

I could of forgave you again but I would of just sold my soul to the devil

The devil calls me out and says that he will reject my body and take my soul

Taking my harmony from the rest of the machine and letting it break down slowly

Nothing is the same and the worst part about is that I will be different either way

Want You
15:26 Nov 23 2005
Times Read: 516

I was alive when I was with you even if it was this

What will I do when your no more and I am this

I was alive when I was with you even it was this

What will I do when I no longer adore you even if it was this



I want you and no matter how much I try its gone

And you’re a ghost in the back of my head

A phantom haunting a different room each night and walking

Into each thought no matter how I try to put you out

I knew that this would happen again but I didn’t do anything

So I haven’t seen your face ever since but it comes to me

In the middle of the night when all I can do is breath shallow

Out of the life that I try to revive with a little piece of dying hope

So much that I did to you and I was the fool so how do I say this

In the most sincere way and not sound like I want you even if I do

I love you and what will I do when I’m crying at night with a different

Face that never turns out to be yours so I say the wrong things and leave

I cry by myself in the car, in the closet, in my room, and with your picture

In my hands to only shield me from the unbearable agony that I cant hide

Its an uphill struggle and I look up with little confidence and I see mistress

Call to me so lovely god, why do I do this even if I know that it wont

Ever complete me like you did the years have been wasted but you are

A scar no matter how had I try to leave you behind and in the darkness



Sacrificed all I could feel and nothing could fill my heart, soul, and spirit

I’m a pouring fountain that will never fill without your lips and soft touch

Sacrifice all I could steal and nothing could fill my heart, soul, and spirit

I’m a pouring fountain that will never fill without your lips and soft touch



Crying is a damn shame but so am I and what will I do when I rip open that door

And storm out with it slamming behind me and I find myself in another dark room

The knob is broken now and what will I do when I can’t find my way through this

Stumbling, falling shit it feels like a knife in my heart without all the blood to spill

I feel the pain ache but the numbness only stirs into my soul, I pull it out without remorse

Just to find another one there and I am now afraid of what will I do if I don’t have you

Without you there will be no one to nurse my wounds and so it’s a fucking shame isn’t it

Oh well, here I go don’t mind if I scream with anger as I pull every inch of this blade out

I lay it down and find my way to another lie so I wince and brace myself even that won’t help

I pull so hard it hurts and who knew that love would hurt but I love the way I feel even if I bleed

Lay the knifes out as they come and my agony is so inescapable, let me try this without it spilling

Love you I do, hate me you probably will but what else is new and I know its old because it is

My lips yearn for your taste of ecstasy and its my sanctuary even if I don’t belong within

HAAA! I taste it and sigh slowly maybe when I get the chance I will end up with the right one

So I see that you weren’t the right one to be with, you were the first to love me and I didn’t

After all these years I see that you still remember me and so do I and you look so different

Yes you do but what’s with all the make believe and masks that you still hide behind, damn

I guess it was a dream because even if I did wake up and time is reborn you are the same



Crying is a fucking shame and you are the same no matter where I go and what I do

Dying is a fucking game and you are the lame no matter where I go and what I do

Crying is a fucking shame and you are the game no matter where I go and what I do

Dying is the fucking same and you are the lame no matter where I go and what I do

Guilty
15:38 Nov 12 2005
Times Read: 530

The choice was mine but I feel like it was all but an opinion with no label

My love is for you and I know that its all I do when I cry for you late at night

The choice was mine but I know that I can’t see the truth and its faceless

My love is for you and I know that its all I do when I cry for you late at night



I lay in bed wandering what do I do when I think about you

I know the feeling and the only way to stop it is to control it

Before the feeling controls me, its simple to say that I won't

And the truth kills my only escape so the fear is inescapable

But my desire is like a thousand knives so the only thing I can do

Is admit the truth and whisper it in your ear slowly and softly

Let the air of my breathe and my fire warm your every inch of passion

White skin and roses, perfume and kisses, your eyes keep me so breathless

My mouth waters at the sight of you and my eyes tear at the thought

Of not seeing you, I know that I care so what can I do when I’m not there

Its easy to think of a solution but I can’t understand it anymore so I do

I tell you and say how much I love you, should I consider it even if it hurts

I will have to say that I don’t want to go but I know that I am guilty of this

Of loving you, but I don’t want to leave you alone because I love you so much

I won’t know what to do when the day comes and I have to say goodbye

You will cry and the only thing I can do is hold you tight and say that I love you

I know that I am guilty but this is the only thing that I am glad to be guilty of



If I were to tell you to be strong just a little bit longer, would you be just for me

Please listen and don’t fade on me because I won’t be able to hear your words

If I were to tell you to be strong just a little bit longer, would you be just for me

Stay within the beautiful light so that I can hear the birds call you out to me



I don’t want to lose you so I will have to say what I feel you, don’t lose yourself

In the tears I will be back and don’t cry anymore because I can’t take it any longer

I cry on the inside and hold you tighter with a blank face so I’m lying to myself

If I am guilty of this than I don’t care so long as you don’t see myself break in front of you

I don’t want to put you down a further hole just because I couldn’t be strong for you

I love you and if I don’t cry its not that I don’t care its just that I wish to be with you

Hours are meaningless if I won’t be able to see you for another year so here we go

I’m guilty of the tears and your not here to hug my pain away, god forsaken tears

God forbid my fucking duty and god damn it all if I have to do this than I will do it

Standing before a grim face and it doesn’t look like I will be able to make him smile

If it takes you away from me than how do I do this and what do I do to defeat the demon

Take it to the graveyard and bury the burden so that I can hold you another day and lifetime

I’m in a different eternity and I feel like I drift into a further dimension, slowly and swiftly I go

My skin chaps, my lips dry and my body freezes below zero; completely lifeless and oh god

Through broken skin and chapped lips I scream into the face of an infinite demon; die, die

I awake in a screaming haze just to find it was all a fucking dream and I’m not with you

I’m in waking dream and I can’t fall asleep in peace because that’s what I used to do



If I were to tell you that I love you with just a little bit much more passion than will you

Please listen to me and don’t cry because I won’t be able to hear you clearly, I know

If I were to tell you that I love you with just a little bit much more passion than will you

Please listen to me and don’t do this because I won’t be able to hug you if your fighting me

A BEAUTIFUL STORY OF LOVE
16:13 Nov 10 2005
Times Read: 531

HAVENT WRITTEN A LOVE POEM IN AWHILE, GIVE OR TAKE TWO OR THREE MONTHS. FIGURED THIS A GOOD WAY TO START A DIFFERENT SIDE AND A NEW ME. LOVE POETRY WAS MY FIRST LOVE IN WRITING OVERALL BUT MY DEMONS DARKENED THE WAY I WROTE. HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT, ILL BE PUTTING UP MORE.



An inescapable feeling fills me with desire

So what do I do not make myself look like

A fool, because I know I will look like one

And hesitate to saw those words that mean

So much to me, somehow I must do it

Liberate myself so that you can know

The truth that has dwelled in my heart

And the thought that haunts me always

Day and night, no matter what I do

I toss and turn just thinking of you

And when I do sleep I dream of you

You are a beautiful creature with soft hands

And eyes that stab through me life knives

A voice that sings a song to my soul

Come with me she say in a low whisper

Her cheeks meet my fingertips as our lips kiss



How much more will it take of me when I think

Of you and feel this way but what do I do

When you tell me to stay and hold you

I know that I want to but I want you even more



Its like a tragedy maybe if I would tell you the truth

Than maybe we could be something that I want us to be

I love you so and I know you do too, kiss me my love

A bird chirps and its like a story out of a novel

In the park and laying in the grass with you in my arms

Its all I know how to do but I know I do love you

Missing you is the hardest part of my day because

All I feel is your hand on mine and you walking with me

Oh my god never new that I would be in love again

But here I am and feeling like the world is mine

In a dress that I can’t complain about and wearing a perfume

That keeps me on my toes all night long so beautiful

You smell like a dozen roses, blossoming in the summer

Leaves fall expressing my desire and the sun sets telling

You its time for us to make love once again tonight

On the sandy earth of a beach we roll around doing it



How much more will it take of me when I think

Of you and feel this way but what do I do

When you tell me to stay and hold you

I know that I want to but I want you even more

Resurrected from the Sun
06:45 Nov 07 2005
Times Read: 539

Loud echoes stir in the mourning light and its surreal

To see the truth for what it is because I never wanted to

Loud echoes stir in the mourning sun and it feels so real

To see the truth for what it is because I didn’t feel the nails



I feel like I am where I wanted to be a complete person

The first was an asset, the second was a prototype

And the third is a great spirit that I think no one can copy

I know that I can sit here and stare at the sun thinking

Of what I know will make me a better person, somehow

It’s the truth and I know I can’t hide from it no matter

How hard I try its useless to snoop in the darkness

Or crawl into a hole that I won’t escape even if I lie

Its that simple and the only way I can find my way is if

I try harder this time and don’t give into the failure or

Stand back in stupidity and wander how do I fix the broken

It’s the machine that only wants to be tended to, is that to much

To ask if all I needed was someone to hear my cries or distortions

It’s a simple fix if I only let it be that easy, but no I know myself

And I will make it harder on myself because I know its all I can do



Patch this up and wipe the tears away so that I can lay here in bed

Tossing and turning waiting to fall asleep so that I can’t feel again

Patch this up and wipe the tears away so that I can lay here in bed

Tossing and turning wanting to fall asleep so that I can’t feel again



Crucifying myself was the worst thing I could do I should of just died

Killed myself if I was willing to do that much harm to myself than it should

Of been that, the whips are felt like a thousand knifes in me but I carry on

Wanting to stand up and take it like a man but I cower falling down hard

I know that this can only get worse before it gets any better because it will

And that’s what you want if I told you that I wanted to begin again it would

Be another nail into my hands and a whiplash to my back because you are

What you are and no matter how much I said sorry or how much I was

Crying there in front of you with my knees bleeding from the rocks and scrapes

You didn’t want the drama you said but you were willing to be my friend

Curse the fucking sky, its like you were spitting in my face and all I did

Was turn around and walk away just so that I could see another day

But it wasn’t worth it because every day was a day to die with you

I guess its all that you are because you say that you don’t want to be

The truth hurts more than a lie so here it is, quite faking and take of your mask



The thorns and the horns disappear what happened to all of your might

What once was bleeding is now healing, something’s different and I feel better

The thorns and the horns fall on her what happened to all of your might

What once was bleeding is now healing, something’s different and I feel better



Numb and sway to the tidal waves, violent and intimidating as always

Fondle with the sand underneath my toes and think of the near future

What will it be like if I allow myself to be reborn, remade from the light

Let the sun pour into all my scars and how much it stings but the control

Is the only thing that I want so in the most harmless way I staple them shut

Pull out the needles and remember not to skip on sewing them shut

I know that if I let them be and not remember the ghost that haunts me

Then I will be ok because its that simple, she can’t scare me anymore

I know this because every time I did I could just feel the nails peeling through

The sound and echoes of a big hammer still stir in my head but I push away

Looking with eyes wired shut I cant see her but I can feel the ghost, goodbye

I hang high but feel myself fall slowly as an angel carries me down, her hands

Embrace me with a warmth so much I don’t feel the scars ripping open

Nothing hurts and nothing is felt, but her words are clearly heard; whispers

It gets brighter and I feel the sun cleanse, on my knees bleeding no more



Slowly pulling the nails out and breathing hard in agony but I'm here

The sound of a hammer goes in rewind to find yourself on the cross

Slowly pulling the nails out and breathing hard in agony but I'm there

The sound of a hammer goes in fast forward to find yourself on the cross

Demons & Warlords
12:32 Nov 03 2005
Times Read: 544




Born into a fading ash and it stings with a hatred so deep

I never was like this but if I have to I will be their hate

Fuck it all if that is what I want them to see than so be it

I hate it when they hold back and don’t tell me what the fuck

Don’t’ ever underestimate the violence in ones soul because I will

Take you to the battlegrounds and fuck you up forever and never will you

Live to see the light of day, I guess it has to be like this because it wont be better

I know I will see the light and its something they can’t take away because

It’s the only thing that I have left, my dignity and pride fuck yourself

I don’t ever pretend to know it all but I can pretend to be something else

If it gets you off my back and destroys your only morals if you have any

Than so be it, I won’t bottle my rage anymore I will fight back the only way I know

I can play stupid because I know that it will piss you off and make me laugh

It’s a demon that lives within me because I can see it in you, something you will never

Ever fucking have, pride and a life to lead because I have so much to fight for

One day you will go back to your own little world and marry your so called love

Wait till she see what I have in store for you, motherfucker I fight harder and longer

Warlords of the center and a demon that mirrors my every command take it as it is

I know they will come out with full rage just let them have their time to prepare for war

Truth is something that I prefer and I hate when it’s a lie that you feed me once again



A demon is lurking and a warlord sits atop a hill waiting for the call to war

Flying with speed and a little bit of anger he wants blood and I know this

A demon is flying and a warlord sits atop a hill waiting for my call to war

Flying with a purpose and a little bit of rage he wants blood and I know this



What are you going to do if I play this card again, get mad and pout about it

I laugh it off because your tomb awaits you arrogant motherfucker, god how I do hate

An illusion blinds me seeing you hung from your fucking balls and your head in my hands

In full battle gear and a sword stained with your blood I’m better now that I have your soul

I will be your doomsayer and your caller to the war at hand, how stupid you are to the truth

Only if you knew that I have my warlord waiting within, something tells me that I will see

Him again, maybe if you would respect me and never done what you did to begin with than

You would have my respect but its something your never going to get from me, NEVER

Go ahead get pissed and yell into, hot air is nothing that can bother me anymore, EVER

Punish the mistake but it wasn’t because it was my doing, if you ever saw your bullshit

Than you would know that you’re the only one everybody hates and I know they do

Take your step forward and make the words out of nothing because its all bullshit

I know that they know this but its another day that I want to die even if it hurts

I would rather fall straight into the hole than ever see your face again, I know

That when I go back to the start that this will be something else and you will be

Nobody because back where we were its all you ever were, I got my issues and problems

So I will let the warlord loose and the demon will shoot out of my mouth into your heart

Plunging the knife deeper into the soul of the machine, its back to where I began and was

Born into the ash and bred in the fire, something is bothering you so what is that burning

Skin is charring and your eyes are popping into, laughing at the extinction of your arrogant self



I got my demons and their waiting because they were bred into the ashes and lies of you

Warlords on my frontline and demons flying above what can you do now that I have my army

I got my demons and their waiting because they were bred into the ashes and lies of you

Warlords at my call and demons at my fingertips what can you do now that I have my army