I am at a level of pissed I didn't think was humanly possible. Nothing is enjoyable. I feel like crying, but I can already tell it won't do any good. My whole body is shaking with anger and rage. I want to lash out at something or someone, preferably society for placing so much value on a letter on a peice of paper from school. But, I know that it won't do any good and nothing will be gained from it. I want to leave right now and never come bck to this life. But I love her too much... she is the only reason I am keeping my sanity right now. My girlfriend is my life. I really want to talk to her. I need to talk to a human being, but if I talk to anyone but her, I'm going to end up ripping them a new one.
My parents just basically cut me off from all outside contact with the world. No phone, no tv, no ps2, no laptop. I am going crazy. I need to get rid of this rage inside me... but I don't want to at the same time. I know that it's my punishment for my actions that brought this state of being. I want to yell at someone, but not myself. I want to blame someone, but not myself. My chest is starting to hurt from this anger welling up inside. I need to break something. I want to run away...
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