The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

If you are going to kill yourself... do it wrong... it's funnier that way





a. Want to slash your wrists? try a leg shaver



b. Die from a fall? jump off a filing cabinet



c. kill yourself with a car? find a parked car and run yourself into it



d. Poison yourself through inhalation? go outside and breath heavily



e. Poison yourself while keeping clean? put a soap bar in your mouth



f. hang yourself? get into a shirt with coat hanger in it



g. get shot with a gun? go up to a kid and say shoot me with your gun, no wait bad idea, thats not funny.. kids actually have real guns these days not pellet ones, umm buy a bb gun and shoot yourself in the ass



h. die through suffocation? fall asleep on your pillow face down



i. death through boredom? read though this list



j. die in sex? live a life time wait till you're old and possibly a heart condition and commence operation, yea, this will take dedication on your part.



k. death through fright? hire and watch a heavily obese person do aerobics in tight revealing clothes



l. mass suicide? bring yourself and friends to the above



m. drowning 1? find a large soup bowl and dive in



n. drowning 2? stab your water-bed and go to sleep



o. electrocution? french kiss a 9v battery

COMMENTS

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Isis101
21:56 Nov 12 2009

LOL!

From an Abbott and Costello training manual?

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