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Lately
The things that make me feel most
Are only sounds from the past
Echoing in the hollow parts of inside myself.

And I wonder where we were when the lively kids died.
I wonder if we couldn't have save them before the adults were born.

I caught myself thinking about you and what used to be.
And I don't know why the mind does that,
Going back to places that it can never really go back to.
Maybe it is to heal.
Maybe it is to punish.
Or maybe it is to understand how I got here after you.

I think about how far I've roamed & the things I've seen...
The faceless people i met & forgotten secrets i kept when all along I was yours.
There was just so much to experience on my way to your doorstep.

I knew I missed you...

In the quiet light of morning
In the dark of ink-spilled night skies
In the bitterness of blue dusk
In the soft whispers of violet angels
That spread broken leaves for your leaving steps
But like Pandora's hope,
You were still sheltered in my soul.

Because... it tells me even nature needs to scream sometimes.

I've always preferred the time before dawn
Because there's no one around
To remind me
Who
I am supposed to be,
So it's easier to remember
Who
I really am.

"I don't believe in magic,"
The young boy said.

The old man smiled,
"You will, when you see her."

I apologize to myself
Daily
But I rarely accept it.

I'm still learning how to look myself
In the eyes
And say
You did okay.

Give me a lover
With miles on his tires
And worn threads.
The stretch of road
Behind him
May have been long
And tiresome
But he's better for it.
Hie rearview mirror is full,
But his hands know
How to tame curves
And as he says my name
I couldn't help it
I mistook it for
"I'm finally home."

My little wildflower...

You cannot be upset that he didn't choose you.
You cannot be angry with people who have only swam in the shallows,
While you were a deep & roaring ocean.
The depths of your soul were far too deep for him to comprehend.
He stood on hills with satisfaction, while you are a mountain far too high for him to reach.
You see, my love, the wild scare people who have only loved the tame.