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I slit the throat of my emotions,

watched them spill crimson on the alabaster snow.

A glint in my eye,

a memory of what I had slain.



Never wanting to reclaim it.

Faded and worn,

just a ghost of what should have been.



I'm chasing them down

'Til the blood runs knee-deep.



I never wanted you to see this,

just hide your eyes now, little girl.



The slaughter of one's heart

is not a sight for precious tiny you.



Run away now, little girl

as the dying wails caress your ears.

Shriveled corpses of the warriors

lie broken around your feet.



I put a gun to Love's head,

gave it the privilege of last words,

but you were not meant to witness

what was not meant to occur.



Now the snow-white floor is stained

and in your heart remains a blemish.



I hung Faith and Hope from the trees,

the skeleton trees.



Now your tender neck is flawed,

and your sparkling eyes carry the memory

of what you saw.



Little girl, why did you not heed my words?



Because now it's too late to hide your eyes,

and forever imprinted, my deed,

is on your ever-so-innocent heart.

Come with every wound and every man or woman you’ve ever loved; every lie you’ve ever told and whatever it is that keeps you up at night.

Every mouth you’ve punched in, all the blood you’ve ever tasted.

Come with every enemy you’ve ever made and all the family you’ve ever buried and every dirty thing you’ve ever done; every drink that’s burnt your throat and every morning you’ve woken with nothing and no one.

Come with all your loss, your regrets, sins, memories, black outs, secrets.



I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you.

You're going to

crave my curves,

my words -

steamy, creamy, strong

legs, lips - parsed, lashes - batting.

Enough of your flattering.



You will break.



I'm going to make

You work.

Harder, and harder, and harder.

You'll be too

Weak to speak.



I'm no sinuous

Serpentine girl

to charm into a basket, no

man-made lid you'll find

will hold the

seductress kind.



From such strength, I may shake.



You're going to

crave me; desire

will burn a hole

through your skin.

You'll want to acquaint

your famished fingers

with every inch of me,

eyes like coal -

hungry.



I could write a book

about depravity, or

nihilistic sin.

I wish somebody told me

that dreams don't all come true

that Cinderella's just a name

for wishes in blue.



I wish somebody told me

that life hands out onions more

than lemons to its people

which are useless to the core.



I wish somebody told me

how stupid I could be

instead of spouting words

like no one is better than me.



I wish somebody told me

falling in love is a risk

'cause who knows if they'll catch you

or maybe you will miss.



I wish somebody told me

life's harder than it looks

that growing up is full

of tears and disappointment.



I wish somebody told me

all this before I've grown

but it's too late for wishes

'cause now I already know.

If I should wake again,

After I'm gone,

Let me come back in the form of a song.

A mystical song that no one gets sick of,

But that's engulfed by the winds

And its intertwined with the curves of love



If I should wake again,

After my ashes have been blown into the wind.

Let me return as a creature with fins.

A creature that can roam the depths of the sea,

With every water as theirs,

I will travel with the rigorous waters free.



I will be swallowed by life,

Down there in the deep

Striving through the difficult adventures

And running toward every leap.

Knowing that every bit of wisdom gained,

I'll always have to keep.



If I should wake again,

After I die,

Let me relive as the stars in the sky.

I will shine majestically as the earth turns around.

I can outshine the moon,

But never make a sound.



If I should wake again,

To this land I know so well,

Our spirits are what returns,

Our bodies just a shell.

Whatever form we are in,

We must learn from our strife.

But honestly, if I could choose,

I wouldn't even want to come back

To the affliction of life.

Cut me open, take a slice into my thick pale skin. Look beneath my layers and make sure to grab a pen. Write about my backbone, watch me stand before your eyes. Write about the shock and awe that came to you by surprise.



Cut me open, tear my insides apart. Tell me i'm not good enough or that i have no heart. See it pumping my blood that now is staining your hands. See how pure i was, remember i had plans.



Cut me open, just for your joy and fun. Just take all my feelings into your hands and begin to run. Why bother to sew me back up? i'll still be left with scars



So cut me open, pick me apart. You'll see, i was great from the start.

She is no angel, he sees this.

Her eyes are too wise, too cautious, and her smile too transparent.

She is no angel, he feels this.

Her mind too wary, her heart too closed, her soul too bent.

But he pulls her forth; drowns her hesitation. He makes her heel to his desire, to his whim.

She fights, she denies, she flees… and he lets her be.

But then she stills, and she lingers; waits and wonders.

If she punches through her barriers, will he pick up the debris?

He stands and waits, patient, strong. He lets her be.

Her shaking breath, her beating heart, her shaking hands.

Fight or Flight?

Do or Die?

She has fled for too long, can he free her?

She is no angel, she knows this.

Will he devour her, burn her? Will he break the unbreakable? She yearns that he does.

Die or Do?

Flight or Fight?

She falls to her knees, eyes cast to the floor.

”I am no angel” her strangled whisper.

”I know, girl, I know. Nor am I”

Do…Fight.

He is her angel.

I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. I realize that failing to do so will not only prevent my Master and I from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm.



I will not try to manipulate my Master. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should.



I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not accustomed to or comfortable with and expanding my limits.



I will continue to grow as a slave and as a human being. I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Master, and will do my best to fulfill His wishes and desires.



I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused, I know that slave does not equal "doormat".



I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow slaves, I will share my knowledge and experiences with others in the hope that they will learn from where I have been I will take the time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.



I will be responsive to my Master, I will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that I may assist Him in His responsibilities as my Authority, I know that Dominants are not telepathists, and will not expect my Master to know thought or feelings which I do not share.



I will never think myself a "better" slave because I choose to submit on a different level than another. I will not be boastful of experiences I have had as a slave. I know that my actions reflect upon my Master, and will do my best to help others see him in a positive way, I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Master.



Above all, I will wear my title of slave with honor, I will never cause others to think that being slave means to be weak or subhuman. I will take pride in who and what I am, and will never show myself in a negative way.

Above all else He cherishes His slave, in the knowledge that the gift she gives Him is the greatest gift of all.



He is strict and takes full advantage of the power given to Him, but knows to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift.



He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that He may control others. As a stern and demanding Master, He can cause His slave real tears.



As the consummate lover, He will kiss the tears away without stepping out of character.



In times of trouble, a Master is a supportive partner and friend, never forgetting that this is a loving relationship between two caring individuals.



He is quick to understanding the difference between fantasy and reality.



He would never ask His slave to put Him before her career or family just to satisfy His own pleasure.



To win His slaves mind, body, soul and love. He must first earn her trust. He will show His slave humor, kindness and warmth.



He must always show her that His guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable deserving of her attention, that this is a man she can learn from and trust in His discretion.



He is romantic enough to be protective and gallant. When called upon, He will fight for His lady's honor. He proves to her that He is someone that she can lean on and depend on.



When it comes time to teach His slave her lessons in obedience, He is a strong and unyielding professor. He will except no flaw, nothing less then perfection from His student.



Never does he use discipline without a good reason . When He does, its always with a careful and knowledgeable hand.



He is always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear her wants and needs. He is patient, taking time to learn her limits and knowing that as the trust for Him grows, so will they.



He never has to demand ritual behavior. She responds to Him out of want to please Him. Compliance from wanting to please, not the fear of punishment.



He understands the fragile nature of her mind, body and soul and never violates that trust given to Him.



He is secure enough to laugh at Himself and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.



His tools are mind, body, soul, spirit and love. He understands that each partner gains from pleasuring the other. And both of them know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.

"What was it like to love him?" Asked Gratitude.



It was like being exhumed, I answered. And brought back to life in a flash of brilliance.



"What was it like to be loved in return?" Asked Joy.



It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied. To be heard after a lifetime of silence.



"What was it like to lose him?" Asked Sorrow.



There was a long pause before I responded...



It was like hearing every goodbye ever said to me - said all at once.

Rarely

do you see an adult

walking around with scars

on their body



is it because

they were

a happier generation?



or is it because

most of us

don't make it

that far...?

Every dawn I see divine goddesses cross my way, their faces crushed from tear-streaked makeup. The night tricked them into crying over oil slicks of men and every dawn I hear them whisper "never again."

Kiss your own fingertips

and hug your own curves.

You are made of waves and honey

and spicy peppers when its necessary.

You are a Goddess,

I hope you haven't forgotten.

I wish I was petite and cute but I will always be jagged around the edges and exploding with emotions.



I wish I was the kind of girl you'd want to take home to meet your parents but I know I'm only good enough to fuck in your car.



I wish I woke up with a smile and a sparkle in my eyes but I will always wake up grumpy and rubbing nightmares out of my eyes and cursing my alarm.



I wish I was so pretty that you wanted to grab my hand in front of your friends, my friends, anyone but we always seem to walk silently side by side, as if you're reluctant to acknowledge my presence.



I wish I could say I am happy alone and mean it instead of staring into the blackness of night, longing for someone's legs to intertwine with my own, wishing to be able to feel kisses warm my collarbones.

I do not want to be a leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, and the command, my pivot.



I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically, but as a woman. Oh Goddess, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own, not to cling, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, and possessed but the will of a male at his time, his bidding.



And when the time comes, I hope he can make peace with my fire, my demons, my internal storms that give me my passion.

In the desert

I saw a creature, naked, beastial,

Who, squatting upon the ground,

Held his heart in his hands,

And ate of it.



I said, "is it good, friend?"



"It is bitter - bitter," he answered.

"But I like it,

Because it is bitter,

And because it is my heart."



((Bittersweet - Bittersweet

Because it's my own heart I eat.))

The black widow, who has dispatched a lover or two, was sought out for her wisdom.



The young spider asked her, "Did you keep his harmful secret under the threat of danger or did you spin a web so confusing that he didn't know if you were friend or foe? Did you release him from the web and your presence or will you give the venom in which to finish him?"



The black widow was quiet for a moment and then said, "All of thee above."

My friends keep skinning their knees on broken promises and taping their open chests shut, praying no one notices the blood stains on their shirts from a heart that pumps blood for any boy that looks at them like they are the rarest jewel in the entire world.



They confuse the gazing eyes directed at their chests with a romantic gesture, justifying it with "he just wants to see my heart."



They synchronize their heartbeats with his, teaching their mouths to grow used to the way their lips curve when they say his name, fall asleep with one thing on their mind - Him.



But they don't understand that something better always comes along and the same boy who carved "I love you" into the roof of their mouths with a tongue dripping with lust (yet they confuse the taste with love) will find a new girl to wear on their finger.



I tell them, "These boys love with open eyes, not open hearts; You can see their smile in the stars but they'll only ever see you in their beds. You can't make someone without a heart learn to love."

Once upon a time i would've killed to feel this numbness like i do now. i would have reveled in the abyss of emptiness that filled my head, canceling out the storm in my heart. the fear of the unknown would've made me wanna kill myself. again. but now i feel nothing. I've been stripped of everything that matters and I'm left with nothing. so much nothing that i don't want to end my life in some dramatic, painful way. because i rather let myself marinate in the bleakness for a little while longer. when I'm ready i'll begin to feel again and i'll feel so much more suffering than i would if i just ended it right away. and i want that. i want to become that pain.

I'm pissed off!

I'm pissed that amazing people are suicidal!

I'm pissed that children get cancer!

I'm pissed poor people cannot afford college!

I'm pissed that soulmates don't end up together!

I'm pissed that people lie!

I'm pissed that no one cares about Earth!

I'm pissed that people are fake!



I'm mad that the world is so fucked up and I can't do a single thing about it to change it!

COMMENTS

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MoonSong
05:38 Mar 11 2015

I agree, I'm pissed too!

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POST COMMENT

I'm not an easy person to be with. I know that. I'm probably won't even try to make things easy for you. I'll be really difficult at times. It may seem like, at times, I don't want you, and I don't like you, but I do. I'll be a challenge, because I'm not the type of person who puts up with bullshit. I'm not a person who will give you sympathy comments. When I say something, I mean it. If people are assholes to me, I'll throw them out of my life. I'm annoying, I'm hilarious, and I'm a mega bitch, cape and all. I'll make you want to scream and punch walls; I'll ruin your day and save it at the very last minute. I'll drive you crazy and, sometimes, you'll hate my guts. But even though all that's going to happen, and I swear it will, I promise I have an amazing side to me too. I really do. I have a enormous heart. I'll always be there when you need me. Even if my life is impossibly knotted, I'll try to untangle yours by listening and possibly loving. I won't stop caring about you, not even if you push me away. You're different from everyone else and I like that. It's refreshing to find someone different in the world because too many people are the exact same.

you brought the nothingness out of me and it was rather comforting to be left alone in the darkness, where the deepest darkest of me bloomed and I felt broken. I watched my nightmares come with smiles and they greeted me with laughter and I learned something new about myself; that I wasn't weird, crazy, or strange. i just saw the world differently and that made me more beautiful than you could ever imagine.

Does she scare you a little?

Good.

She should make you fear her love; so that when she lets you be apart of it you won't take it lightly. She should remind you of the power that beauty brings, that storms reside in her veins and that she still wants you in the middle of it all.



Do not take this soul for granted, for she is fierce, and she can take you places that you never thought you could go; but she is still loving in the midst of it all, like the calm rain after a storm. she can bring life. learn her, cherish her, respect her, and love her, she is so much more than a pretty face. she is a soul on fire.

I did not need a human that tucked my darkness into a distant corner; I needed one that would dance with it, nurture it, tell me that in such a vigorous world, it was the most stunning thing they had ever seen.



a human that would find the terrible traits in me to be breathtaking.

I was asked once;

What is the scariest part?



I answered;



the scariest part

is not the feeling of loneliness

or the darkness that fills you

despite the looming pain

of emptiness.



the scariest part

is the realization

that you have lost yourself

completely

sinking in as you lay awake

at 3am

because you lost the ability to sleep

and you can't even cry

because you don't even care.