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For the last few days i've gone through a lot.

I lost my boyfriend. I found a new one.

I was betrayed. I was given.

I've felt pain. I've felt love.

But out of all this i've thought.



I've had a lot of time to think recently. I spend hours curled up in bed just staring into space and thinking. I've cried more in the past three days than i have in the whole year of 2012. And that's saying a lot.



I've also caused a lot of pain and been through a lot of pain.



Pain.....it's a funny thing really. We all have our different ways of dealing with it. Some of us lock it away, never to be seen until they crash. Some of us let it out right away. Some channel it into anger....but me.........i seem to take pain and just....process it. I sit there like a hollowed out log until the pain fades then i move on as if nothing happened....



At least, thats what i use to do. Now though...i've been telling others about my pain...and it's making me realize just how much pain i go through every day. I know my friends are glad to know when i'm in pain so that they can help...but it was easier before. When i could just let the pain fade on its own instead of talking about it and feeding the fire. Now i feel pain constantly and it drives me insane. It drives me to more pain.



In all honesty....i'm scared.......What will htis pain lead to? Even though my friends think their helping they aren't...but i have to do this...i have to show my pain if for no other reason than to make them happy..........i just hope its worth it....i hope i can handle it......

COMMENTS

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DamnedFromBirth
00:43 Jan 06 2013

Tears fall down my cheek

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SLEEPERKING30
01:06 Jan 06 2013

be strong and endure my dear

its the only thing we can do when pain refuse's to go away

I wish i was of some help to you



but all i can say is hang in there



you are not alone!

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PremiumSex
01:55 Feb 05 2013

Learn from you mistakes Amor... Life is good .. You were just at the wrong place in the wrong time... Have faith .. Trust me :) Hugs

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