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For my weeping has continued now into a fortnight. I crave for that which I weep for; I long and thrive for the delight of his sweat, the sound of his voice which pierces my ears, the smell of his body as it thrashes about.



I hunger for his presence; the roar of the crowd from his arrival, the first stroke and strum of his fingers, the pitch of his voice as he cries out with delight and sings only to my heart.



For he has become the constant in my life of turmoil; he has become to steady strength I grow from, the depths which I reach into just to see him again...even for a brief glimpse.

Awakes those around, the silence is deafening; the steady drip of the dew from the rooftop onto the ground below.



The crackle of the branches in the high tree tops; I must seek shelter, but where should I go? I soar above once again after a swift perch on the cathedral; I hastily swoop down and my eye has seen a tunnel to hide me.



Slowly I decend the tunnel, blow me is the vermon which lives in this hell trap, but soon, very soon...I will rest to continue my journey...

The clean crisp air rolled across the hills, as the foggy hung eerily over the horizon.



The stench began to drift to slightly into the direction in which we were standing; death, we knew it well and wish it not upon our worse enemy.



Just beyond the break of dawn, a figure took shape in the distance, our hearts began to race frantically, breathing became erractic; the figure, approached with hast upon seeing us there. We became his main focus. He began a gallop, before we could turn to flee, he pounced us like prey.



There, having me pinned to the ground, I looked deep into his eyes and drank in his soul...then, he drank mine.

Is it patient? Is it kind? Does it sometimes boasts? This has rolled over in my mind for days...I've come o th conclusion that love, true love, makes the eternal sacrifice. It dives to the depths of the soul and sends shivers down the spine of the one it betrothed. Seek the one you love, love the one your with but most of all...love without bounds!

This is an emotion I carry daily; I begin my day with it and at night I sit it on the nightstand, to resume our"relationship" the next. I think injustice and the disrespectful people of this place keeps the anger on just with me, within me, or a part of me, but the anger grows as the constant ignorance of this place we live bEcome nearly impossible to breathe in.



I look out of my window and see a beautiful piece of Mother Earth destroyed by a McMansion or a jerk who is mightier than thou attitude condemns and contaminates the area around me.



Cowards are making the area unbelievably hard to live near; they hide all day behind their organized religions, their badges of courage, or the name of a higher mucky muck. They suck the life force from the green grass; the trees brown and wither, the water is instantly polluted and the fish are soon belly up, the smell overpowers the area...the noise is painful to my ears. My mind drifts in a sea of sickness and the pungent, putrid of a piety disgusts me.

This world and many of the people I have come to encounter on a daily basis (whether by choice or not) have become extremely rude; pathetic actually to know that humankind...the word "kind" is no longer a part of it.



I've come to discover that the liars, cheaters, thieves, and bullies are controlling the heart of this Mother Earth; sh is screaming in pain to be released from their grasps, she is withering from lack of goodness, love, understanding, compassion but most of all respect for others.



It sickens my heart, pollutes my soul, distorts my mind and weakens my body to watch day in and out the unworthy be exalted as honorable.



Keep in mind, that the person you may come across today, just may be someone with a heart of gold, but a mind troubled full of pain...respect them.

We all know them, the people who want us to follow their path and not our own: is a distorted path of lies and deceit, of broken dreams and bitter promises.



As I look around and see those who try and attempt for force their way of life down the throats of those surrounding them, I scratch my head, sit back and think of a different time. A time when free will and opinions DID matter, a time when a voice, though small could shout from the mountain tops and seemed like a scream...a scream so loud that would rattle the bones and shattered windows. A scream so forceful that for those within hearing distance would not only be affected by it, but would be forever impacted.



Where has the voice gone? Why are the screams reduced to a squeal? When did this happen? What are we going to do to being it back? How can we rise up against the forces? Who will come forward first?

I've watched each day as possibilities come and go; good or bad, the endless possibilities of wanderlust beckon to me. They scream my name which curdles my blood; they reach within my soulless soul and ignite a fire that consumes me with need, the need to know more...much more that I ever realized existed.



At night, the possibilities whisper to me; voices of various tones, pitches...male, female all crying out at once, but as one. I can see within the shadows the heaviness of these voices, spirits really...of the unwanted, the unloved, the unjust, the undead.



As I search and seek for answers from these beings, they scurry like rats, hide themselves from the ones they call out to.

As the day turns to dusk, I breathe a sigh of relief; the heat and sun burns me with the slightest exposure, the humitiy is too intense to gasp.



I tire of the long sleeves in the summer sun, the sweat as it drips down the nape of my neck unto my back, it burns from the salt but it seems to scald me.



For the bleak days of winter cannot be upon us soon enough; the crisp evening air, the smell of the trees, the sparkle of the cloudless sky.



As I look down as my shirt as I type this, the heat has consumed me to bring about a trickle...of blood from my nose.

Why is this world filled with such vermon; such life forms that are not worth the air they breathe or even the fecal matter they leave behind?



Vermon who lie, cheat, steal, kill and belittle the purest of pure at heart and molest their souls beyond recognition.



Vermon who slither within the cusp of here or there, living such an existence that will sicken the worthiest of worthy, the stone of heart and the fierce of mind.

A flame of passion burns within me. It is not one of just smolding embers but a fire; so mighty and great, that cannot be extinguished and the flame continues to light up within the pit of this lonely life.



I love the flame; the burning intensity that consumes me most days and nights, but fear that if I do not reach out to someone, the fire will engulf me entirely.

The pain I feel within my soul is hollow and deep; the pain is that wich has no ending and no beginning, the pain stings and burns.



Pain within screams to rise to the surface, a surface so worthless and useless.



Pain within begs to be reached; for it will never be reached.

Why are so many unreachable? Untouchable? Merely at my grasp, within a fingertip's touch and yet I cannot feel a friend in site. This pain consumes me; it has become my cross to bear, my death penalty.



Why, o why can I not find a friend or foe? Is it my destiny?

COMMENTS

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mindgeeee
23:00 Sep 04 2012

This poem is very good

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POST COMMENT

Why do I feel unwanted? Unloved? Like the sacrificial lamb ready for slaughter?



My mind is adrift in a sea of uncertainty; love is the distant island before me, hate is the slightly out of reach brink behind me and Hell surrounds me.



I can see the beyond, above and below but I cannot feel warmth; I cannot grasp for things surrounding me are untouchable.



Soon, very soon, as I sway to and fro in this the unwanted ship of unwanted...I feel a wetness upon my cheek, a tear

The realm we "live" can become to monotonous that we often forget that others are out there...alone, hurting,full of too much pain that the mere thought of taking a breath is excurstating.



I look inside myself before I look outside to grasp the concept; the reality of it all is simple, do we continue to be unkind or project to others what we want others to be to us?



My strength each day slows to a trickle; unknowing and a non-believer that compassion is gone, gone with the sands of time to a place that is beyond our realm and reach...

This seems the only thing that comes so easily and readily to me. My body aches if I do not have enough, yet it screams in pain if too much.



As I lay my head upon the pillow and close my eyes; I must reopen them to see what is before me in the darkest of dark. The electricity of the room engulfs me. The swirls and excitement; the glowing embers and sadness, the dancing particles but yet always just beyond my reach and my sanity.

Is grief truly hat we believe to be...the loss of something so full of meaning to us that we feel as if we cannot take another step in life. Could grief actually be the beginning of a "new" step rather than the "end" of a previous one?



I have loved and lost countless times in life; jobs, family, friends, memberships in organizations...but no matter who or what it is, the feeling of despaire is the exact same. You wake up the day after the loss and want to go back into an endless slumber. Your mind fills with countless question but empty answers.



The emptiness of what you loss keeps you to look for it over and over, but you know it will never be found again. Each breath that I take as I type is haggered, shallow and meaningless. I try to cry but no tears will come. Only anger is my friend...and it's calling to me right now

Sadness consumes me each moment that time ticks. I struggle to keep it together; the glue and staples ate no longer working, so therefore, I am falling to pieces.



I'm screaming on the inside for someone to reach out to me, but no one seems to notice my hand...reaching nd grasping. It's so dark where I am; inside and out, the darkness is consuming my soul and stealing my breath.



I feel lost and confused; ready to confess all my sins, but also prepared to keep my mouth and mind closed.

This is my beginning, my transformation into the unknown but such excitement ! My heart aches each day that I do not know if it will ever stop; perhaps this is my destiny, perhaps it is my purpose.



I long for the days when it was "normal"; doing the every day comings and goings, visiting my friends, a lunch with the girls, a shopping trip to the mall...not any longer. I detest the site of those around me. My anger bubbles like a pot on the stove. I trust very few and confide in even fewer.



The site of my extended family makes me ill. My controlling aunts are such busy bodies, with their own lives, children and families, but are always "attacking" my sister and I. We have been the "strangers" in the family forever, and plans to change that are never going to happen. It disgusts me to the point of verbal retaliation but fear of uncontrolable words which would cause my mother to hate my sister and I. So, I sit back and tune into the vicious words and say nothing.