Part117:16 Feb 09 2010
Times Read: 636
So, Let us start from the begining. My Mom got pregnant with me at seventeen and had me at eighteen. My sister Christina came fourteen months later on Feb. 11th. When I was two or three years old my father hung himself. I don't know all the details all I know is he suffered from depression and Bipolar disorder as I also do. I know how it feels to be so alone and run down that you feel your life has to end. I just wish I could know what kind of person he really was, and how I would have felt about him. I don't really remember anything at all. So, around a year later my mom married my stepdad. I don't know, but I'm sure his family didn't agree. Anyway, in 1996 my half sister Morgan was born. Basically, we lived a few different places, as we are always moving for some reason. I couldnt tell you exactly where I've lived, just that it is never to far away. My mom and stepdad had three more children,Raven,Jade,and Curtis jr. a.k.a Little man. Also they adopted my brother Lucas. We've always been kind of crowded, and moved around alot. After Lucas being adopted my parents started to do powder. I don't know if they did it before that, because we were always taken care of. Thinks kind of went down hill. Mom and stepdad staying in their bedroom all the time, and me and Christina trying to keep things together. Like I said before I have Bipolar disorder, so Christina had to take more responsibility as my nerves couldn't take it. But, Christina was also less naieve therefore more rebelious. She is independent where as I seem to attach myself to anything I can. I hate change, and I am honestly afraid of almost everything. My mind goes crazy thinking of how things could go wrong,what people are thinking,how I look,how I feel. So, anxiety and panic keep me from alot of things. But, Ive realised a person who hasn't been through that can have alot of trouble understanding. So, the summer that everything fell apart me and Christina started to hang out, and speaking for myself I did everything I could to find some sort of compassion or attention. So, I lost my innocence as some people like to call it. My sister ended up sleeping with somone she thought she loved,but was too young to understand. No more details, because that is her story/her life. So, about a year after I met a guy named Linwood (Lin). For some reason the first time I saw him I just wanted to get to know him. My sister kind of ended up getting us together. He always knew what to say, always made me happy, always made me feel wanted. We had problems though with everything from our families to trying to stay together. So, we were together on and off for about 3-4Years I dont know exactly, Anyway he was and still is an amazing guy. He made everyday for me worth living, and was my one great love. But, of course I fucked that up, and that story comes later. Where was I..? Oh, so my uncles wife lived down the street from us with his daughter Tiffany,his son Jr., and his stepson Brandon. He at this time was in prison. So, she didnt take care of the children. Long story short my mom ended up taking care of my cousin Jr. who was "Mentally challenged" I guess is what you'd call it and no I dont mean retarded. So, that made everything so much harder. Everyone including me treated him so badly. So my uncles wife cheated on him the whole time he was locked up. My cousins Tiffany and Brandon ended up in foster care. Anyway, when my uncle got out he moved in with us and then my grandparents this was after his wife moved to Florida with some guy. They came and took Jr. back from my mom, and as we all were they were mean to him, and couldn't deal with him. So, my uncle met a woman named Danielle who I still call my aunt, and as he has no idea how to treat a woman they fought all the time. He expected her to raise his child. So, this went on for a long time. They moved around taking Jr. with them to a few different places. Danielle got pregnant with my cousin Angel. At this time they were living with my uncles mom and some other people. Beside the house there was a inground pool full of oil and trash which no one thought about. So, one day while my uncle and his girlfriend along with 5 other adults were looking for a way to get high, my cousin Josh jr. went missing. They had cops,dogs,everything. I was staying with my grandparents and they called us three hours after he went missing. So, we went out there, stood around because the cop dogs were searching, They drained the pool, and I remember my grandpa saying They found him. He almost had a heart attack at that point, my grandmas knees collapsed out from under her, I held her up. Me, My grandparents, two of my aunts,My uncle,Danielle, and her cousin Kit watched them pull six year old Jr. from the bottom of the pool and put him in a body bag. Everyone blamed everyone but themselves, and at the funeral they said things that Jr. liked and didnt like as if they really knew him. The truth is no one took the time to know him. No one even cared enough to pay attention. Needless to say my family is nothing short of unstable.
I need sleep now, so I will get back to the story Asap.
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