The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

How many of us carry baggage on our shoulders day after day. Whether it be from our childhood, a bad relationship or marriage. A sickness we may have, or a fear we may have. There is always baggage there. We carry this through our lives with us and it affects everything that we may do. It affects the way we may raise our children, the way we treat our friends, our lovers, and ourselves mostly. I sit and contmeplate things all the time. Some people may say I am silly for doing that, but for me, its a way to learn, a way to find myself. If you dont look around you and analyze things, how will you ever know what is wrong with a situation in the first place.



I love to sit and people watch, its probably one of the greatest things to do. You really do learn alot. I know that I have learned that there are some awfully unhappy people out there. People that you and I might envy and they are miserable. Why do I envy these people. Why do I let these people make me feel less superior to them when they are nothings in the scheme of things. They are miserable nothings and I let them get to me like that.



I really thought alot today and was like, wow, you know what, I am really happy. I really have alot in my life. Ok, I dont have any money, oh well, I cant take it with me anyway and it certainly wont by me the things that I really want. Ok, I have to find a place to live, but you know what, I am not even worried about it. I will find something, I always do. My kids are a pain in the ass, but, thank God I have 3 gorgeous healthy kids that are here to be a pain in the ass. I am so lucky to have my kids.. Dont get me started on that topic because I am so in love with them. ( you all know my issues on my son leaving and that is something I wont ever get over.) OK, so also now, I have a disease, but you know what, who the fuck cares. I am here, speaking, typing, able to read, watch TV, listen to music, go out, get plastered, play a game, whatever I want to do. I can still do it. My weight, well we all know thats a big issue for me, but you know what. Now here is a biggie. WHO THE FUCK CARES. Thats right. Hey listen, I am alive, I just have to buy bigger clothes and they arent as nice as the smaller ones and they dont make you look as good, and I have curves where I dont want them and no one wants to look at you, and well there is alot more... LOL, but I am here. I am so worried about my weight because of what everyone else will think, but you know what, that is everyone elses problem, not mine. I love my personality, I love the way that I treat my friends, I love the way that everyone I meet and gives me the chance to speak to them, likes me. I would go out of my way for you for anything, I am a true person, just a little on the larger size true person, but I am real. I tell it like it is. There is no phoniness here. So, I am releasing my baggage so that I can grow. I need to get rid of the things I carry that make no difference in the world.



So I let go of that childhood, I let go of that bad relationship and what it did to me, I let go of being jealous of those with money, I let go of the people that cannot accept my sense of humor and my beliefs. I let go of my disease, and I let go of my weight. If you dont like this person because of that, then go away from me because I let go of you too. Somewhere out there is someone that is going to appreciate that in me. And you know what, we are going to have a blast for the rest of our lives..











Peace.. ~Frankie~ 2005

Christmas was one of the best and saddest at the same time. The best because we were ALL together. Who matters more than your children. NO ONE. The saddest, well because, as you can see I am counting down the days.. Its 18 more days until my son leaves. Christmas was that turning point. The time will go fast now. I yearn for 2007. Yes, I said 2007 not 2006 because I know that year will be worse than this one. I want it over with.



On a better note, I got so many things from my kids. All of the things I love. They know that their mother is whacked, just a little and I think that they like that. I was Ozzified.. Yes, my youngest one got me a bunch of OZZY cd's I didnt have, as well and some gorgeous candles and some PJ's. I am still in them right now.. LOL... My daughter got me a ton of books which I love. I am a reader, its such a wonderful passion. Also some Bath and Body works stuff and a whole bunch of household stuff as well. Oh and let me not forget a new set of tarot cards as well. My oldest, He got me some books and movies and also some bath and body works. He also got me some awesime candles. I am a candle freak. I finally got my crue books. And this one is great. I got a book called, "Anyone you want me to be", " a true story of sex and death on the internet." Is someone trying to tell me something.. LOL.. I have to say, its was a wonderful christmas, one I will never forget in my lifetime. I hope all of you were blessed with the same.