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02:04 Oct 24 2008
Times Read: 576

you can cut the tension in my home with a knife >< so any way I look at it im screwed. It pisses me off really badly cause I know my mom can bring me its just that she wont. She came into my room trying to act all nice to hide the fact that she is a bitch (no one argue with me on that) and I flat out told her I didnt want to talk to her that WHY did she have a problem and my mom best trait is the fact that she tries to avoid stuff or makes me look bad when im not (call me stubborn but I stand by what I say to her.) Any who she told it was her truck.... I told her I would pay her money then she was like "Oh im sick lindsey" avoiding the truck all together.



Let me clue you in on a secret when I went into elementary I had to go into special ed. I had to go threw that my whole fucking life I have been called names stared at and my mom contributes to my disability by not letting me do stuff. But then she would stand in a circle of friends or family and say "I think lindsey needs to do more!" Im fucking sorry but when you say that you should stick to it and not lie which my mom does ALL THE TIME. I have done more in my life than most normal 24 year old and I have been threw a lot more than the normal 24 year old! It pisses me off (and when I say that I tremble with anger) that she does this.



I feel like a fucking caged animal staying with her. If there is someone here that can shed some light as to why my mom feels the need to do this please message me. I dont fucking understand her...

Ugggg
03:42 Oct 22 2008
Times Read: 581

So I went "searching" for a date (if you wanna call it that) and I clicked on 5 websites only to be stopped and asked for my credit card >


But the reason for my searching is I hate the fact im single. But I also love it cause every single time I get into a relationship I always do something to fuck it up. My last one was with a boy (And I use that term for he is a boy for the way he acted) who thought it would be funny to talk about me. I showed him no "boy" does that and gets away with it. Any who he has a new gf and im stuck here with no one.



I just want someone in my life that wont bring drama to it and I can finally be happy. >< Its sad but in every relationship I feel like im a caged animal but when its over I should feel free but im so lonely that I need something or someone to call my own. I feel like theres that one person (and I say person cause im bi) out there that can complete me but I havent found them yet :(. Im like a dove without its mate... A lone wolf without its pack that I travel and travel but no one ever completes me.



That they fill the void but not the circle and I hate that... If I may give you another example my relationships to me are like an addiction but when the addiction is over I start looking for something new. And I dont want that no more I want that someone who will complete me. Its so depressing :( well I hope this entry enlightened you some how. And if you feel the same like me message me :) hugs all!

halloween pictures
18:16 Oct 15 2008
Times Read: 589
















































If you click on them they will bring you too photobucket :)

so annoyed
16:32 Oct 15 2008
Times Read: 591

My mother is stopping me from going to mass. I cant find a ride threw someone else so I told her to drop me off in Lowell mass then I would take a train. She forgets that I lived in Dover NH she also forgets I went on trips but god forbid I take a train >< Maybe I can ask my dad I dont know, just because I have a disability (yes I have a disability) it shouldnt mean I have to live by it how am I supposed to learn if I dont do nothing.... *Goes and calls her father*

plans of today
15:57 Oct 15 2008
Times Read: 592

Ok so im supposed to go and get the halloween stuff out wish me luck! lol

To add onto the greif
18:39 Oct 13 2008
Times Read: 596

I might be loosing internet just heard my mom talking about how she didnt pay the bill and that she doesnt care... So ill talk to you all later if I dont get on in a couple days

tragedy
13:11 Oct 13 2008
Times Read: 602

I just found out my cousin Steve passed away last night. He was riding home from a baseball game when a car pulled out in front of him... :(

Halloween plans
12:44 Oct 12 2008
Times Read: 607

So today im going to pull out my halloween stuff and decorate :D if I find a picture of my halloween stuff ill post it on here just have to look threw a bunch of cd's



::Update::



No picture :( SO! I shall take pictures when I pull out my halloween stuff lol

walking alone
18:53 Oct 11 2008
Times Read: 611

Yea to much arguing here so I am going to walk to the oval be back in a few hours!

Orange thing2
21:34 Oct 09 2008
Times Read: 615

So from what I gathered this entity can be either good or bad but none the less my body has fallen fatigued... So im going to rest and be protected by a friend of mine on here. I shall see you all later.. -Hugs-

Profile heh
14:29 Oct 09 2008
Times Read: 626

Ok so I have this problem where if something is too big I try to make it small.... Case n point my profile WAY to big for me so I tried to make it small and I think it looks ok but I need your opinion does it look ok? I know I have been doing this for the past couple days but the bulkiness was annoying me. I hope it looks ok. Oh and that little red thing that kinda looks like a lego or a pair of fangs thats just a picture I tried taking off but I think its cute lol

Website condensed
19:28 Oct 08 2008
Times Read: 627

If you go to my profile you may see just one website I got tired of seeing a bunch of them so I made a freewebs and condensed all of them into that site I will be adding more but go there click enjoy lol Hugs all

WOOHOO!
18:42 Oct 08 2008
Times Read: 629

Im level 5! *Dances!* :D :D :D :D People go n look! Yay!

Thoughts
16:30 Oct 08 2008
Times Read: 633

Yea basically what the headline says. "Thoughts" Im excited! My Dezzie is on the site! And if I need to I shall recap who she is! Dezzie is my sister my best friend my all she is the only one in this world that can look me in the eye and tell me what im thinking. On that note she is coming up (*crosses fingers*) this friday if you havent looked at her profile I shall tell you a important fact she is pregnant and this friday she is going in for tests :D (Heh! Imma aunty!) And also this friday is the annual pumpkin festival! Its corny but the wind blows around my feet and I feel alive! I feel dead out of the 11 months but October is my month its spooky its creepy and it has that certain feeling to it that gives me goose bumps. Lol I love the colors the oranges mix with black and the deep reds and dark yellows it like I said before it makes me feel alive lol anywho back to dezzie and my excitingness lol. In a addition to dezzie I just got done looking over the vampire database. People! Listen to me when I said I am in love! I saw corsets dresses and even stuff for my sadie (my dog lol) I wish I had a credit card cause I would go on a shopping spree in there lol but thank god I dont for that very reason lol. I saw some sites along with the clothes and jewelry and there in my faves now trust me when I say me n dezzie are going to squeal like school girls when we look at this stuff lol. But back to October on the 30 (hallows eve ;) ) I shall be at dezzie's house in boston :D then me her and her bf are going to salem mass and coming back up here and chilling. I shall bring my trusty camera and dress up. (Have to do that its halloween I wouldnt feel right. But here is what im thinking I have this costume I need you all think for a moment back when scream came out do you remember what the killer was wearing? That cape thingy well thats what I have except for the mask lol and for you all who still cant remember here is a link. http://www.thelaughingstock.co.uk/acatalog/scream_costume_XL.jpg but I cant decide if I should paint me face or should I buy a victorian mask... I dont know might do both ;)) Anywho I shall be going now and rating some more hope you have a haunting day! (sorry dorkish moment lol) Hugs! Byes all!

God!
16:09 Oct 07 2008
Times Read: 646

Fucking annoyed right now. I hate living in an apartment if you dont run down stares the second your laundry is done you get yelled at. Then my mother is being a bitch trying to stop me from going to salem mass I bet two days before I go she will bail like she always does! I need a second plan if she fails. So tired of my real life I escape here to release my inner my feelings and thoughts. And look at the magnificent profiles. The occult is my escape I love it! I dont think there is nothing else like it. Well theres my though of today...

comments 2
14:22 Oct 07 2008
Times Read: 647

I did all 4 pages of my comments. So if you remember commenting me go n look at your profile :D and now im going to clean! Hugs all!

sadie
11:33 Oct 05 2008
Times Read: 657






The picture above the text is sadie. She is a Lhasa Apso. I got sadie after a few months that my mom and me moved to heritage.

(a brief history before I get into talking about sadie. My mom is divorced and from the time of the divorce to ill say I was 9 she was single. But she saw a man by the name of dan then they broke up but I had no clue why. She raised me and my brother until she saw us both graduate. So when I graduated she started seeing Doyal. Now to feel the void that was once filled by my mother attention I decided to go n look for a animal thus meeting sadie. Now back to the story at hand.)



I asked if we could get a dog only because Doyal (my mom's bf) had moved in with us and I felt like I was out of the picture. So we searched in the news paper ad's and came up with nothing. So I got the idea of a pound the three of us went from pound to pound and nothing seemed to fit until we went to bedford and found sadie. She was 3 at the time and she matched the color of doyal hair (salt and pepper with a touch of gray) Me and him agreed she was cute so did my mom. The problem was her former owners didnt clean her eyes so she had to have surgery to remove her eye duct. No one wanted to pay the money for her so the pound was going to put her down because of that. We adopted her and paid 100 for the surgery she is now going on 8. She is a great addition to the family and I love to spoil her! :D



A lesson is to be learn with this entry I watch a tv show called animal cops. Sadie was one of the luckier animals but theres hundreds to even thousands of animals each day that fight for their lifes and they shouldnt so when thinking about getting an animal please go to a shelter there might be a sadie waiting for you there. Bb Mm

*squeak!*
01:19 Oct 05 2008
Times Read: 663

Yea have to say. I have been rating like crazy and the profiles I have seen makes me all giggly inside. Nothing excites me more than a good dark profile but a even darker person ;). As of right now im trying to calm my nerves as you see from the other journal entry I got highly annoyed so im listening to some ICP. Ill leave you with a thought



I like cotton candy candy gum and bumper cars and carnivals

golden skies and hazel eyes and sand in between my toes

but

something tells me that I hate you

something tells me I must kill you

-rainbows n stuff- -icp-

annoyed
00:43 Oct 05 2008
Times Read: 665

I dont even know why im takened. I get up to talk to him log on then find out he doesnt even want to talk to me I could be asleep but noooooooooooo he has to be a dick and say he's going to watch a movie. Then I knew this was going to happen I didnt even go shopping because my mom fell asleep. So I left her a note telling her off. Blah

sleep
18:25 Oct 04 2008
Times Read: 667

Im sitting here waiting for my mom to wake up so we can go shopping. She told me last night we were gonna go out in the morning. So morning came and I waited and waited and she told me 10 or 11 well 10 came and she said 12 or 1. Well its 1:23 pm and she is fast asleep... ._. >< -.- im annoyed, pissy and just want to say fuck it and sleep.... Life would be so much easier if I had a license and I could do stuff on my own... Oh well I guess ill go n see if she is awake...

History or background
15:39 Oct 04 2008
Times Read: 670

Here is a little more about me. As you know im Lindsey and im 24 but words can go so far so heres the rest of me.



I was born in Nashua NH

My birthday is Sept 7, 1984

My history of where I lived is this

Before I was 7 I used to live in Wilton NH I had a blue house a huge pond that held over a 100 fish (I think) then a mother crane used to come and snatch the fish (Must stop for a second this is coming from a limited mind so Im stopping and trying to remember. I used to block most of my childhood out. You dont need to know why for this is too public for me to tell. I cant trust well and I only confined in my best friend dezzie. Back to the story)

Besides the fish and crane there used to be a beagle named sally, a rotty named willy then 3 cats tom and I forgot the other two. I also had bunnies but I forgot their names also. My parents got an divorce then me, my mom and my brother moved from the blue house to Milford where I lived in a apartment. (Ironically its the same complex I am in now lol but different apartment) I lived here until I was 10 then moved to nashua then to florida where I stayed in for a few months I first lived in deltona then moved to daytona where I stayed in a house with a Doberman then moved to another house where I encountered tough times. But then had to move back to NH because my dad wanted to see me and my brother. I then stayed in nashua but commuted to milford to go to middle school there.I stayed in milford and went onto highschool and graduated in 2003. Now its 2008 and from nashua I moved to New Boston (NH) where my grandparents lived then moved from New Boston to milford again to stay at a complex called meadow brook. I lived there for about 8 years then moved there to come back to the complex I am in now I left meadow brook in my senior year to move to heritage estates and I have been here ever since. But moved from apartments in the middle of our 3rd year. In the home I am in now there is my mom her boyfriend and myself but my brother lives in AZ he left when I was 17 and he went to college. We also have a dog named sadie she is a lhasa apso I will tell you about her in another journal entry for she has a long story. Well I hope you liked my history and I hope you dont think its boring Bb and Mm all

Profile
03:45 Oct 04 2008
Times Read: 673

If you go and look I have updated the writing. If you didn't noticed the first time I put my info in was just a copy and paste but I sat down and rewrote it I added a bit more and made a few changes. Hope you like it. Bb Mm

comments
15:02 Oct 03 2008
Times Read: 680

I have to say I get more comments here than any place ive visited. I thank you all very much :D and I will visit you all in due time. The pictures most of you (if not all) commented me on are so beautiful and I was in awe of them. I am a fan of Gothic, vampire anything dark or gory and when I saw the pictures I went wide eyed (literally) and squeaked! (Yes I squeak ._.) But I thought I would take the time and tell you all that and hopefully your chuckling or find me amusing lol. Well I have to get going to do some errands but feel free to keep commenting or send me msg's and I will keep adding stuff to my profile and so forth. byes for now!