The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

21:05 Jun 23 2008
Times Read: 545

SINGLE!



















MARRIED!!

DIVORCED!!!

The Wisdom of Larry The Cable Guy . .
23:18 Jun 18 2008
Times Read: 549










1. A day without sunshine is like night.



2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.



3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.



4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.



5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.



6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.



7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.



8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the

cheese in the trap.



9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.



10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.



11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines



12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.



13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.



14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?



15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.



16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.



17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?



18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.



19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?



20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?



21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the

heck happened?'



22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.



23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear

bright until you hear them speak.



24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of

jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

SMALL TOWNS
00:15 Jun 14 2008
Times Read: 556




Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this.



Those who didn't will be in disbelief and won't understand how true it is.



1) You can name everyone you graduated with.



2) You know what 4-H means.



3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted. (See #6.)



4) You used to'drag'Main



5) You whispered the 'F' word and your parents knew within the hour.



6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you new which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.



7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow.) Besides, where would you get the money?



8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.



9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off.



10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.



11) The whole school went to the same party after graduation.



12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by references. Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks to Anerson's , and it's four houses left of the track field.



13) The golf course had only 9 holes.



14) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.



15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.



16) The town next to you was considered 'trashy' or 'snooty,' but was actually just like your town.



17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1955 as the 'rich' people.



18) The people in the 'big city' dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend 2 years later.



19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the dairybar.



20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.



21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.



22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.



23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.



24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.



25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.



26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.



27) There was no McDonalds.



28) The closest mall was over an hour away.



29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.



30) You've pee'd in a cornfield.



31) Most people went by a nickname







Toughtimes don't last... Tough people do!