Words women use all men should know........15:20 Jul 16 2008
Times Read: 551
9 WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever:
Is a women's way of saying up yours!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Welcome to North Dakota!
15:17 Jul 16 2008
Times Read: 552
Thank you for visiting our beautiful state. Here are a few things
You ought to know to make your stay more pleasant:
1. That slope-shouldered farm boy you are snickering at, did more
Work before breakfast than you will do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're
Going to get dust on your BMW. I have a 4-wheel drive because I need
it. Now drive or get it the hell out of the way.
3. We all started hunting and fishing whe n we were nine-years-old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi die. We got over it
4. Any references to 'grain fed' when talking about our women will
Get your butt kicked...by our women.
5. Pull your pants up, and turn your hat around. You look like an
Idiot.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
Their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't
Have it up to your ear at the time.
7. No, there's no 'Vegetarian Special' on the menu. Order steak.
; Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the
Two pounds of ham and turkey.
8. Yeah, we have sweetened ice tea. It comes sweetened, you don't
Need a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.
9. You bring Coke into my house, you should bring rum along, and
Ice.
10. So you have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed.
We have half-million-dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
11. Let's get this straight. We may have one stoplight in town, but
We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
12. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to.
So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
13. Yeah, we eat trout, northern pike, walleye and perch, too. If
You really want sushi and caviar, it's available at the bait shop.
14. They are pigs and cows. That's what they smell like. Get over
it. Don't like it? Highways #2 and #29 go two ways - get on one of
Them. The more people that leave, the better the hunting & fishing.
15. So what if every person in every pick-up waves? It's call ed
Being friendly. Understand the concept?
16. Yeah, we have golf courses, more per person than anywhere else
On earth. Don't hit into the water hazards. It spooks the fish. And
Stay out of the woods, that spooks the deer.
Please enjoy your stay in North Dakota !
COMMENTS
-