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I got on youtube intending to listen to We belong to the sea by aqua and instead clicked on a suggested song. I did not know that the song was in German until it started playing. I instantly recognised it as German and enjoyed it more than I probably would have in English. I absolutely love everything about the German language. I consider it to be one of the most beautiful languages. It has gotten me excited for the future, when I can study the language in great detail and when I can go back to Germany and be immersed in their amazing culture again. I fell in love with Germany and would absolutely love to live there one day.

Why does life have to be full of such hard decisions? I got a puppy about a year ago (Pepper) and I absolutely love him more than anything. I love him like he is my child. I know I wont have much time to spend with him in the future because I am going to be going to school full time and trying to balance a job on top of that. For spring semester I will be living with my grandmother and I dont think its really fair to her to have to take care of him while I am at school and work. Also, he would probably be neglected, especially when I move to Boise. I am considering asking my parents if he can stay here. I think it would be whats best for him but I feel so horrible and selfish. But I know if I take him back to Idaho with me its even more selfish. I wouldnt be able to devote enough the time he deserves to him. He is also best buddies with my parents dog and he would be lost without her. He also has plenty of land to run around on so he never has to be tied up. He always had to be tied up when he was in idaho. Just thinking about leaving him here though makes me cry. He is my baby. I know its whats best for him though. I feel incredibly selfish for getting him in the first place. I keep kicking myself for not thinking ahead and realising that a puppy isnt the best idea right now. I know he would be happy here though. So I dunno.

Seven of our baby rabbits have died :( We think it is because this is Patches' first batch and she doesn't really know how to take care of them.



Also, one of our geese got caught on a fish hook. We managed to get it out but I think the goose is in a lot of pain. I can see why though. Fish hooks hurt like hell. Especially when they get taken out. Poor goose :(

No matter how much you say you don't care, in the end you always do

Ive been having problems with Pepper lately. He is extremely mean to the other male dog in the house and will attack him just for walking into the room. Also, my little sister tends to play rough and she doesnt acknowledge warning signs and he will try and bite her. He rarely succeeds but he still tries. Im afraid he is going to hurt my sister or the other dog. I dont really know what to do though because nothing I have tried has worked.

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voodoochile
13:24 Sep 19 2009

I bet he has been drinking again. You might consider AA meetings for him. :P

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FictionalFantasy
02:38 Sep 20 2009

Definitely xD

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I was on msn messenger and some random person messaged me. I think that he/she used to be on my messenger years ago but I did not recognise the email address. The person popped up and said hey asl. I said who are you and he/she said I asked first. The person was very vulgar and used the F-word several times. I refused to give him/her my asl because he/she refused to tell me his/her name and where he/she was from. In the end the person said F you whore and blocked me. How idiotic. I attempted to tell him/her that he/she was obviously the whore since he/she had to absolutely know my age sex and location. Didnt have a care at all as to who I am.

My friend, Rucker, and I both wanted to move to Boise, Idaho. We decided to get a place together in Boise and split the cost 50/50. That way its cheaper for both of us overall. So far our plan is to save up as much money as possible (at least $1000 each) and start looking for a place this summer. We want to be moved in no later than August. Because I want to go to school up there and school starts in August. I have been pricing apartments in Boise and I think on average a two bedroom apartment will cost anywhere from $470 to $600 a month. I want to find one that will pay part of the utilities and it MUST allow dogs. Other than that I wont be too picky. Our plan is still in the brainstorming part so I am working on coming up with ideas on how we can save money on bills. I did not know until recently that you had to pay for garbage and I am still unsure but I think you have to pay sewage. Some of the places I looked at said they paid sewage which kinda confused me but then Im still new in the living on my own and paying bills thing.

Ive been feeling sorry for myself all day and feeling selfish because I feel sorry for myself. Life is confusing sometimes.



So here is whats going on. My brother went to the movies tonight with his gf and they went to see if a movie I have wanted to see for a while. I asked if I could get a ride with them and even told them Id sit somewhere else. They got to work as fast as they could trying to find someone to go with me some other day. They told me that a guy they knew would go with me tomorow. His gf has said some stuff about him that doesnt make me trust him completely so I didnt want to go in the first place. Then after my brother gets home he informs me that if I were to go with the guy tomorow Id had to get my parents to take me because he doesnt have his license. my moms car broke down so we only have my dads so I cant drive it anywhere because they might need it. So in otherwords, I dont get to go see the movie.



It seems that my brother gets to do everything I would like to do. He got to go to the movies. I havent gotten to do anything except what my parents want to do. So most of the time I only get to go to town to get animal food or go grocery shopping or other various tasks. Never anything fun. I wanted to go to the fair and look around. Didnt get to go. I wanted to go to the seether concert at the fair. Didnt get to go. My brother got to go to the fair and look around and go to the concert.



I know its entirely selfish of me but sometimes I cant help it sometimes. Im tired of always being at home or just doing what my parents want to do. I want to have some fun too.

There was a swap meet at an animal food warehouse outside of town and we went to it today. Ended up with two more geese. Also, while browsing alaskaslist I came across a post that had two turkeys and two chickens for $40 for the entire lot. So we now have turkeys as well.



Our current total is:

-20 chickens

-10 geese

-2 turkeys

-7 rabbits (three have babies on the way)

-4 dogs

I asked my mom if I could change the background on her computer. She said yes so I started browsing around for a neat background. We have chickens and I decided as a joke I would put a picture of a rooster and hen mating as the background. I couldnt control my laughter and my mom took a look at the screen and instantly said "change it!" so I googled bunnies mating (because we also have rabbits) and she was equally as unhappy with that. Of course it was all as a joke and I was getting ready to change it anyway. Unfortunately the internet went down at that exact moment. What a great background xD. Now its back up and I changed it to the picture of me feeding the sheep (located in my portfolio). I think its adorable :)

Everytime I get a cough it last anywhere from several weeks to a few months. I have had a cough since around the first or second week I moved to Alaska. It has gotten really bad again and I am tired of it so went to the doctor to see if they could tell me why I get coughs like this. The doctor told me take this medicine and it will go away this time. I had to pay $120 for them to tell me to go spend more money on medicince to get rid of the cough this time. Am I supposed to just do that everytime I get a cough? Ive tried cough medicine and it hardly ever works so I usually just wait it out. Doctors never give me any useful information. . . In my opinion 90% of the time its a waste of money to go.

I have been feeling down all day today. Just cant seem to cheer up at all.

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voodoochile
23:00 Sep 09 2009

~noogy~ Feel better now?

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I have had horrible luck with baking lately. The other day I was carrying my flour container across the room and the lid fell off and I spilt a ton of flour ALL over the floor. Then I was baking chocolate chip cookies yesterday and I was holding the bowl and somehow managed to drop it upside down on the floor. Needless to say I lost almost the entire batch.

I almost caught my house on fire tonight. I was stalking the fire in the fireplace and a log got caught in the door and would not go in. Typically the log caught on fire and started to burn while in the doorway. I got the poker and tried to poke it in and the stupid poker got stuck between the log and the bottom of the door. By now I had no idea what to do. I went and tried to get my brother out of bed to help but he just looked at me like I was an idiot and rolled over and went back to sleep. I went back to the fireplace and tried to get the poker unstuck. Thankfully it came out. I managed (just barely) to get the log in the door enough to shut the door.

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voodoochile
11:07 Sep 01 2009

o.0 Ummm, you do not have any tongs to manhandle the logs? get a set, it might be like 8 bucks. World of difference in being able to manage a fire. A poker is only used typically to break up stuff and in the right hands move stuff around, but putting logs in without getting burned is all about the tongs. ;)

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FictionalFantasy
04:57 Sep 05 2009

lol I never thought to try those xD

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