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I'm at my aunt roses for the night cause i just had to get away from home it seems that im more relax over at my aunt roses house maybe its because me and her dont fight we get along alot better then my other aunt.
yeah i can say this much..i really do love my aunt judy but she sometimes gets on my damn nerves and she also trigger's me really bad when she drinks i really dont like when she drinks like she does she kinda reminds me of my mom when she gets drunk cause she gets really mean and yells at me none stop it makes me really depressed and sad cause its how my mom would treat me when she got really drunk which was all the time its the reason why she passed away.
lastnight i broke down and cried for no reason i felt really over realmed with sadness out of the blue so i went back to my room and turned on some music and jamed to it.😜

well my aunt judy went to the hospital and was amitted today so im home alone oh how fun piece and quite thank god (sighs) i can now get the apt cleaned on my own time with no rush to do it hate it when she rushes me into things.
she sometimes drives me fucking crazy with the damn way she pushes me into things i keep telling her that my damn back hurts like hell ugh.

I been doing alot of soul searching the past few month's..had alot of shit happening in my mind it feels so blah as of late..but i learned to deal with it all i have no other choice but to.
I feel like there's some darkness around my soul there are times i want to just give up and crowl into a deep hole and hide there for awhile and just let myself cry and scream so damn loud that the whole damn world can hear me.

I never thought i could ever live without my mom being around i had a rough time when she passed away i had some dark moments at that time it changed me and not in a good way either.
i miss my mom so much that it kills me inside
i have to deal with alot of stuff in my life between having to takecare of my aunt when she's not feeling good along with cleaning the whole apt it sometimes drives me crazy.

COMMENTS

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xRobin3x
07:31 Mar 04 2020

sits next to you...... and give you a hug. i can relate on the missing mom issue. all i can do is to remember her, and the things she did.

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EternalMemories
07:47 Mar 04 2020

yeah same here..but my mom was a big time drunk and its the big reason why she passed away..but i do remember the good times i had with her though

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