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Where am i in my world. Feel traped in my own mind. Not doing good but not doing bad. If i disapeared honestly no one would notice cause i have no one in my life to notice. My family disappeared over time. Never came out of my house to make friends. Its like im here but where?

I love the sound of rain but yet it causes me so much more pain i gouse love does turn into hate

Not ignoring anyone just in alot of physical pain and sometimes it makes me misarable and snapy and i kinda keep to myself at times so i dont make anyone else misarable

Only 2 things to look forward to today. Oatmeal for breakfast and my master

How i love fall it seems like you can see the moon clearer. The air smells fresher. The cold but not freezing weather reminds me the coldness of afterlife. I love walking late at night when everyones inside. I feel reborn to the sound of nothingness. Its amazing. The only time i can feel dead and alive at the same time

Laying here in this dark house on this dark night stairing at the ceiling i feel so alone yet so contemp contemplating with myself do i love the aloneness or do i want the ever true love. Alone i can fall into myself. But with another i may never have to fall. A constint fight with myself that drives me into madness. Alone no one can hurt me. With love by another i can be hurt. This is where thr thinking and the madness begins with the on going cycle of questioning myself

Hold on to me love you know i cant stay long all i wanted to say is i love you and im not afraid. Come find me. You can see me in your dreams. Your callimg me . you feel the connection.

COMMENTS

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dwaynemcgriff01
16:29 Sep 18 2018

interesting

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Been sleeping only a few months but now that i actully step out into the world from my darkened house it seems like my surroundings have changed. New places went up. New people are around. I go to join my old friends in our old hangout and it seems as if they turned their back on me due to my disappearance. If only they could understand but no point i know they wont get it. It seems like the only comfort now i have is the only thing in front of me .... The mirror. For i know it will have my back and never let me down or disappoint me