[ mood | crappy ]
[ music | Ozzy...Fire in the Sky ]
Ack the past few days have been shit. I went to the doctor on Wednesday and I have strepthroat, Mono and lymes disease. They’re still checking my blood for more shit. I’m low on all my blood cells including the fucking cell that keeps your blood clotting so when you get cut you don’t bleed to death. I forgot what it’s called something that starts with a “p”. They gave me an antibiotic that is messing with my Mono so it makes me break out in a rash and I have to keep on taking it until my strepthroat is gone. It’s annoying my entire body won’t stop itching. I have to go to the doctor again next Thursday to see if my blood cells are still low. I talked to Nicole today and she seemed kinda pissy I felt bad for calling. I’ve done nothing but sleep and trying to walk around without being sickly. This entire entry is pointless. But whatever I won’t be able to work this weekend. whatever. I can’t eat anything without feeling sick. I lay done and when I get back up I instantly have the hiccups for 5 minutes. That gets annoying. I haven’t been able to get a hold of Liz so that makes me sad. My Aunt Heather had her baby. I haven’t gotten to see him yet but I bet he’s pretty cute. His name is Sawyer. But yeah Sam and I have been thinking of guy names that I can change my name to. I was thinking about going with Joey. It fits me pretty well I think. God I feel like I’m over heating but my fever went down. I’m constantly on a scale of being off and on a fever. My fevers have ranged from anywhere from 100.3 to 104.2. So I ‘m just great full they don’t last long. I usually sleep through them. I lit a candle to help me. It’s a green one since its Friday. Lately my Sister has been a bitch to me lately. She’s just been a huge snob. Since I’m not feeling good I like to sleep more and her and her friend were making a lot of noise. So when I went up stairs to the main level to ask if they could keep it down she blew up at me telling me that this is her house to and basically treating me like shit. So I went up to my parents bedroom on the upstairs floor because it was ironically quiet there and I was laying on my stomach talking to a friend for a bit when Autumn comes into the room with her has clasps together holding something. I kinda get on my knees and move away from her when she tells me she has something to show me and she opens her hands and screams cockroach and throws the dam thing at me. Well first off I scared of bugs for a very good reason and two I feel like shit anyway so I drop the phone, jump off the bed and scream. Only to find out that the damn thing was just a toy. I start to yell at her and she tells me to shut up and that I don’t look that sick to her as she fucking takes the thing a goes out the door. I just about punched her face in. She’s been doing a lot of shit like that to me lately and I’ve been trying to keep my cool and not beat the shit out of her. I have even refrained from swearing at her. I’ve been nothing but nice to her and when I’m sick she treats me like shit and acts like a fucking angel when our parents are around. I’m sick of being here and treated like shit.
[ mood | free to fight. ]
[ music | Rammstein ]
Well....just got down watching Rock and Rule and very good movie with Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Blondie, all the good people that kick ass. Tonight I'm going to the drive in again....sam movie playing but that's alright I missed half of Star Wars and that's the movie that I wanted to see in the first place but it's all good. hmmm...well lets see....My dad likes Rammstien....so that's new and lame but whatever. Anywhom...I'm happy that now I have 31 hours on my paycheck at Fanny Hill...yes...that and that's not including the hours I have in at Sweetwaters, there's not much but still that makes me happy.. I'll have extra money for shit so that's cool that and I can put more money in the bank. I don't know....I'm kinda indifferent right now.. but that's okay it's easy to be happier like this or just not caring. well whatever I guess that's it.
This is an important skill to learn; to express yourself and be outrageous without pissing people off for the wrong reasons.
I love Alice Cooper and Iggy Pop: Where myths become extinxt and reality is a slap in the face.
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | Pink Floyd...Wearing the inside out ]
Well I guess things are going okay.. I'm going into the Army. I'm going into Bio chemcial weapons specialist. that's cool. I won't be going into the training until after I graduate high school. I'll be going into the 2 month training in the begining and then I go for the 6 year deal. I'll most likely go into another field but that's what I'm starting with. I really want to do it. Plus if I decided to go to college when I'm in there they'll pay for it fully and I won't have to pay shit and then when I get out for a while they'll give me 30,000 to pay for it.I also will get paid while I'm there for the two months of a great $4,000 (2,000 a month). I'm so happy to be joining. It will help me forget about a lot. Get rid of a few feelings that I never should have had in the first place. That's not all of why I'm going in there though....I would love to have the training!!!! That's been a really good dream plus it can help me achieve so many other dreams like with the money I can really mother fucking try to get the sex change that I want...
sometimes I don't know what I'm doing, but the time does come along that I do and that I do know what I want, but the one time I want something I can't have it without upsetting someone else...it's a bitch. I just want to be happy but I want other's to be happy too.
It you're in the gay community you know there's nothing more sickening that a funeral sevice in which the minister basically accuses the dead man of being a victim of "divine punishment".
[ mood | Drained. ]
[ music | nothing. ]
I'm done with work and it's great. I started work at 11:00 this morning and I got done at 10:00 thsi afternoon. We had a wedding to do. Great fun. I had to make 227 lemon baskets amd that's takes a shit long time to do. It took me 2 and half hours to do. I also had to make a whole bunch of different bread deserts...just cutting up the bread and decorating them. That took a while and then I had to chop up three boxes of lettace. (can't spells) I have to work with this guy named Mikie. He smells really rancid, he's big, he's really mother fucking hairy. gross. And he literly has the Iq of an 8 year old. He lives with his mother, can't drive, and has a speach inpediment. It fuicking sucks. So yeah August 25 I'm taking my promotion to the salads. Whoo hoo! lol umm.... This whole month has been shit. I've been having bad withdrawls for two weeks. Andy hasn't gotten to see his budy that's going to sell me some shit yet so that sucks. That's another reason why I got two jobs to support my temporary habbit. It's great. I sorta got into a fight with Yami recently. It's kinda okay and at the same time I'm not okay with the subject..whatever I guess. Well I'll wrap this up before my internet dies.
fuckers.
[ mood | he no mini me ]
[ music | whatever sami has in the background ]
God last night was great....I was all by myself getting drunk and trying to play the sims...It was great. I couldn't get a hold of anyone so I decided to drink and talk to myself and have a jolly old time. I felt so bad that I called my friend a min to late before he left work. That sucked ass. I wolk up this morning and 5:30 not knowing were the fuck I was, it was great. I'm a complete mess and I don't care which is the more ironic thing. Oh yeah for those of you who dont' get it...I'm back from Green Bay...I got a completion award which gave me three college credits and they only give out three of those so I felt special. um....what else...we're all pitching in to get some more stuff to make Apple pie.. so in that case we also have Shawn coming over so he can get the everclear...it's going to be another great night. greatness.
I was thinking about Nicole last night and how badly she has become absolutley pathetic. why do I still care then?
I'M GOING TO DRINK AND SMOKE MY PROBLEMS AWAY!!! and it's going to be great.
It'd be noon thirty till the trains comes and then CRASH! it'll be sweet.
One more word out of you, and I roast the poodle in your front yard. Then, I'm eating the fluffy little bastard al fresco.
[ mood | rush ]
[ music | Let's have a war so you can go and die. ]
so yeah...I'm still in Green Bay and I finally got to a computer...I have a ton of e-mails...shit. Wow this week has been fun. I've been attempting my self portrait..that's great. It's the first one I've done. Well let's see on Tuesday I got really hyper and climbed a tree and last year someone got kicked out for that so when I saw the councorls walking by I was freaking out. I told my friend Oona to get rid of them and she forgot about me for 20 minutes. That was close. One of my friends got kicked out because someone narced on her for smoking a ciggerette and that sucks because they could've narced on me and my other friend so that was a little nerve recking. (sorry can't spell right now) umm.....let's see what else. umm...it was just a fucking awsume time..Oh yeah I kicked Cassandra's ass in Rummy. I had 630 points and she was down at 220..It was great we just got done actually. Shit I really don't know what to say right now...got to go..
There comes a point in one's life where they wish the ones they've loved and lost were never born just so they'd be spared a moment of pain.
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