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Quizz
20:57 Jan 31 2005
Times Read: 675



You are Michael Alig. You are king of the Club
Kids. You are the crack-smoking gay party
promoter with a penchant for hotpants, red
lipstick and Andy Worhol. You created some of
the wildest parties this country has ever seen.
You had it all.. fame, money,.. men. So what if
you helped kill your drug dealer, chopped off
his legs, sprinkled him with baking soda, and
humped the box you stuffed him in. You're still
pretty and you know it!



Which one of Michael Alig's Club Kids are you?
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I could eat the moon.
20:42 Jan 31 2005
Times Read: 676

[ mood | energetic ]

[ music | Alice Cooper.....Poison ]



This weekend was okay I guess. We're cutting our supplies down at work so we can give my step dad a better salary so he'll stay at Sweetwaters. I've gotten to cook more food. I'm real happy about that. It beats degrating my hands, making them all pruny and shit. My real father is still going on about how happy he'd be if he had the devorice and how seriouse he is about it. It's gotten quiet annoying. The only female (mother) that I have gotten along with and, now I understand why he wants a devoirce, but I really like her when she's not being a control freak. That and her daughter Willow; I can't stand her! The only reason I go over there is to catch Jean and Willow in a good mood and for my Father and Brother, and even my Father is annoying me with how much he wants a devorice so really it's mostly only Hunter. That I have a better chance of maybe seeing Nicole. But that I can say I won't get my hopes up for.



Anyways to close up MR. BALARD CAN KISS MY ASS!!





....the worms will eat YOU!!!!

Jesus stole my bible
01:36 Jan 28 2005
Times Read: 680

mood | depressed ]

[ music | Marlyn Manson....A pill to make you numb ]



I have no idea what the FUCK I'm doing! I'm starting to get pissed easier than before. I can't stop thinking about my parents and everything I saw and went through in my first seven years. From the first fight I saw them in to te numerous ones I remember as if I were watching again at this moment. There's a cd that describes me right now. It's orgy's static.... cd. I can perfectly remember four specific fights that I continue to think about. One my parents were fighting in the living room at the trailer park. My Mother was crying and screaming while my Father was hitting her. THEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE I WAS JUST STANDING THERE WATCHING!!!!! until my Mother asked if I could grab her the FUCKING klennex box! The whole FUCKING fight was over taking me to the park! My Father wanted to and my Mother wasn't feeling good!! Another fight that I remember we were driving on the highway. I was in the bakc and Autumn was still in a baby seat. I don't know what the fight was about. I do that my Father wanted to stop fighting and my Mother to stop yelling. And she kept on yelling and screaming. I do remember getting a headache. She wouldn't stop and she through her wedding ring in my Father's lap and he chucked it out the window. The car stopped and he went out to look for it. He never found it. Nevermind that part of my problems. I still can't stop thinking about one person in particular. I get pissed at myself. Most of the time I can't stand to be near myself. I want to stop thinking about her. I really do. I was so FUCKING CLOSE to be over it all! I was so close to never caring as much as I did. I was okay. I was clamer. Then I got anxiouse and a friend and I had to cast a spell that got rid of my feelings altogether. Literally I felt nothing for anything. It was like that for a week and now. Shit now I get pissed twice as much as I had when I thought about these things. I'm mostly pissed off at myself. Now I'm more pissed then I've ever been at myself in a long time. Gia please stop this or I will have to!

Nothings changing.
02:28 Jan 26 2005
Times Read: 681

[ mood | pessimistic ]

[ music | rhcp...scare tissue ]



Well this week so far is going okay. I got a phone call from someone named Shawn and I have no idea who he is, but he asked for me specifically. I have all my pictures that I'm going to paint up already and it's the secound day of the quarter. actually I don't know what I'm going to do for my acrylic paintings but that's okay. My instructor is actually letting my paint my own drawings so this will be interesting since they're in pencil which means I have to come up with the color. well this was a waste of an entry but I'll post it any since I don't really care at this point. Got to go dinner time.

Mascarade.
01:08 Jan 21 2005
Times Read: 687

[ mood | pessimistic ]

[ music | HIM...Poison girl (for some damn reason) ]



is it possible to...

I can earn my own way.
03:23 Jan 20 2005
Times Read: 688

[ mood | contemplative ]

[ music | No music....but the Rock is playing. ]



God I never realized how hard it is to talk to Nicole. We were sittting in silence for 12 minutes around. It is hard to come up with a conversation without saying something stupid or pissing her off. I don't know when I'm going to call her next. I asked her if we could do something this weekend. I hope we can if not I guess thats, that. Well here's my site on VR Sorry Nicole if you read this and actually go to the site (unlikely no offence) I did use a name that is used on livejournal monetary. I couldn't think of another name and I needed one fast. Anways I have no idea what else to say.....oogga booga.









:Would say that's correct?

3/5 of a mile in 10 secounds
06:04 Jan 16 2005
Times Read: 691

[ mood | calm ]

[ music | Jefferson Airplane...Plastic Fantastic Lover ]



Work is done. I was going ot go to Racy's but they're closed until sometime in Februray. They're remodeling. ooo. I'm in a fairly happy mood right now. More amused than anything. I've only had one fag so far today, so that's going good. Here's a good song that reminds me of a certain person right now, but it's better when you're actually listening to the song. enjoy.



Jefferson Airplane..cd..Surrealistic Pillow



Today



Today I feel like pleasing you more than before

Today I know what I want to do but I don't know what for

To be living for you is all I want to do

To be loving you it'll all be there when my dreams come true

Today you'll make me say that I somehow have changed

Today you'll look into my eyes, I'm just not the same

To be anymore than all I am would be a lie

I'm so full of love I could burst apart and start to cry

Today everything you want, I swear it all will come true

Today I realize how much I'm in love with you

With you standing here I could tell the world what it means to love

To go on from here I can't use words, they don't say enough

Please, please listen to *****me******

It's taken so long to come true

And it's all for you

all for you....

I don't think I cared for them anyway.
06:49 Jan 15 2005
Times Read: 693

Well today has been shit! But the thing that pissed me out the most is that all of my pendants that I made in metals didn't cast right. I casted 4 FUCKING FLASKS!! NONE TURNED OUT!! Mother Fucking "A"! Other than that I have been depressed. Other than meetting two of my ex's girl/boyfriends Now my recent ex wants to me to meet HER NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!! FUCKING A RUB IT IN!! JESUS CHRIST! Sorry to all whom read this I feel very pissy and if I get kicked off for ephisizing on the words like fuck and whatnot so fucking be it. That would just make my fucking day! oh well enough of my rambeling...

I made it myself.
02:52 Jan 14 2005
Times Read: 696

[ mood | calm ]

[ music | Pink Floyd..A great day for freedom ]



Well today I am actually calm for once. Today has been going okay. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep last night. I had Tristan spend the night and she helped me clean out the other room in the basement a little bit. We were cleaning out my Mother's flower bases and we found a total of eight mice. Then we found a book about sex that was amusing. It was telling and showing with actual picture and some of them were in COLOR!! he he he anyways it was showing all the secret spots were woen like and how to do them and the same for men. That and it showed bondage and I found out that bondage origonally came from Japan (that's what the bok said!) Well I guess that I don't have too much to say. Well I do just not things that I'd want to type down for others to read. so a na. (a sond that I make..Nicole you've heard that sound) Anyways good-bye.

she looks lovely when she's with him.
23:59 Jan 09 2005
Times Read: 701

This song really fits me right now. I feel like shit. I should've have gone to Nicole's hosue tonight. I'm happy for her. I guess I just wasn't ready to face reality. Tonight I have though. I walked from Nicole's to Ashely's house. It was further than I thought. The whole time I was thinking about a ton of shit. I almost started to fall to my knees and start bawling. God thease past few days have been shit. I know that I'm gonna become a chain smoker to get through this. I had already went through 2 packs in the past five day's and just today I got one of my friends that I work with to get me two more. I swear the whole time I was at Nicole's I wanted to cry. I can't cry. I was shaking too. I started to rocked back and forth again; like always. I think Nicole could tell that I was shaking. I tried to control it. Well I got a hold of my Father. He wasn't mad after I axplained it to him what happened and we decided to get me my own key to the house.

Can she be any lovier?
23:56 Jan 09 2005
Times Read: 704

God I'm doing horrible! I had 12 cigs. in and hour and a half last night. That's bad. Oh well. School has been shit! I feel completley drained. Today sucks. I broke two bowls and three mugs. I don't care I've just been so sick of...