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So I'm back and already did I fuck myself over in many ways. For starters I was suppose to take my sister x-mas shopping. I lost my check card couldn't really explain that to my Mother over here bitching on how upset Autumn is with me. A lot of things have changed that I just want to get used to what I had before I left and then invite new things in. It's going to be a little harder through lack of medicine. Umm....lets see. I'm over at Nicoles (her Chris's) house fun fun and fucking Joy. Little problem I still kinda like her. No where near as I did before but I still really care. A lot of memories are hitting me everywhere I turn every little thing she says to me. I would kill myself to get this feeling to stop. Another thing I feeled screwed over in is relationships. Like Chris, Rachel, Brianne, Liz, Ashely,Andy....ext....Oh yeah and the new relationship I in with this guy Jaron who has a Fiance and I'm pretty damn sure hes going to stay with her. Just like Chris and Rachel being back together. And Chris ingnoring my calls when all I want back is my neckalces and to say "hi" and "good luck" and just maybe "try to lie to me better next time!" All my relationships don't really work out and I have no idea why...I ask my friends and they say that they have no idea. Well fuck bitch soemthings got to be wrong with me. Andy wasn't going to work out because he's just a good friend that wants sex. All the females I've been with seem to like me in bed but it doesn't work out. And I'm not saying that sex is the only thing. I just want one relationship that maybe sorta kinda fucking works. Lets see I was able to only once in my life explain to someone how I feel and well that's Chris. Another thing people seem to leave me for someone I introduce them to or there ex that treats them like shit. YES kick ass. I couldn't be more happier. That's partialy why I don't trust anyone anymore. I'm there for a lot of people I just want someone to be there for me. even just once.











Let the rage begin once more!!!