I have never felt so wretched. Do you trust me so little...five years...to find Gaz as a sign of that trust? I ache inside...and have nowhere to vent it...and do you know why?
My love is more than the breaking of your trust in me. I will hold my tongue because I am aware of the damage it may cause. But know this, I will have my day for answers. You owe me that much.
Do you ever have those times where for a brief moment you want to believe the impossible so much, despite knowing the crashing certainty that it isnt and will hurt worse than the flash of pure joy?
Apparently suppression is not going to do the job. My anxiety has sky rocketed to the degree where sleep has become impossible and the few snatched hours that i take are overwhelmed with the most outrageous of dreams that i find i wish i hadnt fallen asleep after all. Whats next hallucinations due to lack of sleep??? Lmao knowing my luck.....ugh.
COMMENTS
I don't know you so I don't know the specifics, but I have horrible anxiety and one hobby of mine works better than others to keep my mind busy and away from worrying. Drawing. I love to draw. It keeps you focused on the task at hand and helps to alleviate some anxious feelings.
You arent the first to tell me to keep busy, and yes it is a temporary fix, however its the downtimes wben it resurfaces with a vengeance. Perhaps the repression of tbe emotions is what fans the flames to life, but on the other band im at a loss to deal with what i try to repress in the first place. Quite the quandary to be sure yes?
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