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There are two types of people in this world: The kind whose success makes them better and the kind whose success makes them worse. Nero and Marcus Aurelius began to be groomed for power at roughly the same age. One lusted for the throne, the other cried the day he found out he was selected for it. One murdered his step-brother, the other elevated his step-brother to an equal, making him the first co-emperor. One chased frivolity and pleasure, the other took to his job with seriousness and a sense of responsibility. One helped other people, while the other thought only of himself.

Now certainly this kind of absolute power is inherently corruptive, but the truth is that all success affects us. We work long and hard for something, then we get it. We start at the bottom and suddenly we’re on top. We now have distinction, we now have influence, we now have means at our disposal. How will we use these things? What will they reveal about us? Will they make us better or worse?

That is the question. Timeless. Urgent. Unique to each of us.

We’ve talked before about the lyrics to the Lori McKenna song, the one that effortlessly captures much of the four Stoic virtues. In that song she also explains the proper response to success, the path for being the kind of person that is improved by the gifts of fortune, not ruined by them:

When the dreams you're dreamin' come to you
When the work you put in is realized
Let yourself feel the pride but
Always stay humble and kind
…
When you get where you're goin'
Turn right back around
And help the next one in line
Always stay humble and kind
So what kind of person will you be? What will your success reveal today? Tomorrow? For the rest of your life? Show us whether you’re a hero or a Nero. The Daiily Stoic

We human beings are the only creatures on earth who have the capacity for belief. That capacity, combined with our almost innate capability to distinguish right from wrong, provides us with a formidable power in our quest for a richer, more rewarding life. When you set goals for yourself, make sure they are based on doing the right thing for your family, your friends, your employees, and yourself. When others see that you are fair and just in your dealings with them and that you are a generous, principled person, they will move heaven and earth for you. Napoleon Hill

You’re frustrated. You’re scared. You have a million things you have to do. Happiness, hell, even just not feeling bad, seems a million miles away.

What do you do? Is there some secret that can give you the peace and pleasure you crave? Yes, there is. And it’s simple: Stop thinking of yourself. Start thinking of others.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that the surest way to happiness was to seek it for others. She was referring to doing good, to being of service. It’s how she found happiness despite the tragic loss of her father, her painful childhood. It’s how she got through her troubled marriage and her husband's affairs. It’s how she endured the Depression and the wars and so much else. She did good. She made herself useful. She sought relief for others.

Seneca said that each person presents us an opportunity to do kindness. They also, therefore, present us an opportunity to find happiness. Remember Stockdale as a POW, tapping out U.S in code to his fellow prisoners: Unity over Self. Remember Marcus Aurelius: the fruit of this life is works for the common good.

So if you want to feel better today, if you want to find a bright spot in this dark landscape of uncertainty and fear, the solution is simple: Do good. Help others. Be of service. Think less of your problems and try to help others with theirs. You’ll be amazed at the happiness this brings… to you and to them.

...The Daily Stoic.

One thing addicts trying to get sober quickly discover is just how resilient their addiction is. They quit booze and suddenly find themselves smoking a lot more pot. They quit pot, but now issues are popping up with eating or with sex. Or they get rid of all those bad habits, and realize for the first time that they have a temper or a procrastination issue or terrible anxiety.

The point is: For every action there is a reaction. The energy of one bad habit, once removed, emerges in the form of another. Those of us who are not addicts can certainly relate to this, too. The road to progress is rarely as straight as we’d like it to be. For every two steps forward, we take one back, or end up on some detour we never anticipated.

But that’s what this philosophy is about. Remember, Seneca said that each day we should ask ourselves what bad habit we’ve curbed, what thing we’ve stopped. Maybe 24 hours is not the right form of measurement for you, maybe it’s a monthly thing. Or a yearly thing. If you live to be old, hey, maybe you’ll have finally gotten rid of most of your bad habits, and bad impulses.

Don’t despair. Just keep chugging away. We assemble our lives action by action, Marcus Aurelius said. No one can stop us from that. Cross one thing off after another. Take one step after the next.

You’re making progress. You’re getting better...Daily stoic

COMMENTS

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XbluesandX
15:54 Oct 20 2020

Food for thought. 💙

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Until we have seen someone's darkness, we don't really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is.

Marianne Williamson

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MorningStarAldan
18:10 Oct 10 2020

This is perfect:)

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LORDMOGY
21:51 Oct 10 2020

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XbluesandX
15:55 Oct 20 2020

This IS perfect. 💙

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One day late in the fourth century BC, the Phoenician merchant Zeno set sail on the Mediterranean Sea with a cargo full of Tyrian purple dye. Prized by the wealthy and by royalty, who dressed themselves in clothes colored with it, the rare dye was painstakingly extracted by slaves from the blood of sea snails and dried in the sun until it was, as one ancient historian said, “worth its weight in silver.” This was Zeno’s family trade. They trafficked in one of the most valuable goods in the ancient world, and as it has always been for entrepreneurs, their business was on the line seemingly every day.

On that fateful day, a day not unlike one you may have experienced, Zeno lost everything. His ship wrecked upon the rocks, his cargo lost to the sea. We’re not sure what caused the wreck, but it devastated him financially, physically, emotionally. It could have been the end of his story—the loss could have driven him to drink or suicide, or a quiet ordinary life in the service of others. Instead, it set in motion the creation of Stoicism, one of the greatest intellectual and spiritual movements in history.

“I made a prosperous voyage,” Zeno later joked, “when I suffered shipwreck.” Indeed, we were all richer for it.

This story is worth telling and retelling for a reason. Maybe you just found out your husband is leaving you. Maybe you just got news that an accountant has embezzled your hard earned savings. Maybe the pandemic has taken someone you loved. Maybe it’s taken something you loved—a job, a hobby, a way of living.

These losses have left you hurting, financially, emotionally, psychologically. It’s not unlike the way Zeno was left after his shipwreck. Who wouldn’t feel that pain under similar circumstances? And yet, destabilizing events like this are not entirely bad. They shake things up. They force change. They ask new questions. “It’s only after you’ve lost everything,” Tyler Durden says in Fight Club, “that you’re free to do anything.”

Zeno was freed by his misfortune. Life picked him up and shook off stale tradition and his family obligations. It threw him ashore penniless and lost, sure, but it also introduced him to philosophy. It put him on a path to greatness he could have never conceived of otherwise.

Your recent misfortune—whatever it is—could be that for you. But only if you choose for it to be. The Daily Stoic