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So I thought about a lot of things today and I mean a lot. I drove to Noho to pick up a document and I heard a song on the radio... reminded me of you, but not in a good way. Then I thought some more. This is what I have to say to you. Maybe I'll tell you it for real some day.



You are you. I am me. You held me back. You keep me in a cage. I am not yours, I am mine. I am not your play thing. I can not breath under your opiate cloud. Being you with you kills my spirit.



I'm glad you're finally getting help. I'm glad you have happy days. You took too many of mine and I can never get them back. You were never honest with me. You were never honest with yourself. I have never known a sober you. There's just too much damage.



I stand strong. I stand proud. I am more me than I've ever been now that you aren't here. I do not need you. I do not want you. You will never change. You may not agree. I don't care. For your sake, I hope you prove me wrong.



Let's say we go back, one slip up and I'm in hell all over again. How many times must I be crushed under you. I can't depend on you. I don't want to take the chance. I jumped off the blade and realized I can fly. So leave me be, cause a bird like me needs to be free.

Wrap me in a bolt of lightning

Send me on my way still smiling

Maybe that's the way I should go,

Straight into the mouth of the unknown

I left the spare key on the table

Never really thought I'd be able

To say I merely visit on the weekends

I lost my whole life and a dear friend



I've said it so many times

I would change my ways

No, nevermind

God knows I've tried



Call me a sinner, call me a saint

Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same

Call me your favorite, call me the worst

Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt

It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way



I finally put it all together,

Nothing really lasts forever

I had to make a choice that was not mine,

I had to say goodbye for the last time

I kept my whole life in a suitcase,

Never really stayed in one place

Maybe that's the way it should be,

You know I've led my life like a gypsy



I've said it so many times

I would change my ways

No, nevermind

God knows I've tried



Call me a sinner, call me a saint

Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same

Call me your favorite, call me the worst

Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt

It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way



I'll always keep you inside, you healed my

Heart and my life... And you know I tried.



Call me a sinner, call me a saint

Tell me it's over I'll still love you the same

Call me your favorite, call me the worst

Tell me it's over I don't wan't you to hurt

It's all that I can say. So, I'll be on my way

So, I'll be on my way

So, I'll be on my way

Couldn't stop thinking about all those little things about you. Since, I know you're a ghost reader on my blog I figured that I'd call you out on it and tell you just to bite the damn bullet and get a VR account. You really should.



It's amazing the way fate goes. You and I both know. If you love something let it go. You let me go a long time ago. Here you are. Here I am.



And since I know you're reading this, I just want to say. I hope you know what you are doing? I've said it before and I'll say it here. Why do you love me so much? Don't you realize I am unworthy? Why spend your time on some one who has been so lost for so long? I know what you see in your dreams... but why is it me, specifically me that you want to fill those shoes. I hope I never disappoint you.

COMMENTS

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fate511
00:39 Mar 16 2015

Here am i, the one who loves you,. You ask why do I love you so much? Well let me start at the beginning, I will never forget the look in your eyes, your touch, how cute you where when we danced.. that feeling in my gut when I knew you where in the next room later that night. I knew there was a connection between us that nothing could stop..



I let you go because I love you, the hardest thing I ever had to do, I knew it was not the right time for us to be one, I also knew that we would be together someday. . Well someday is here and we are madly in love, you are my everything, I think about you all the time. . You say you are not worthy, not true, when you see my eyes and feel my heart as I tell you that I love you then you will know how worthy you are of my heart.



You will never disappoint me, I know what I am doing is right, I believe in fate.. I want to spend the rest of my life you with.



I love you!

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fate511
00:41 Mar 16 2015

I love you !

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I'm no where near done, but I am seriously tired of packing. I move like every 2 - 3 years and yet, accumulated so much junk. I don't have to work today so packing should be my main focus, but I just can't get into it.



I need a real day off so I can play. Being grown up sucks! *pouts*

Counting the days til sunshine. Today is freezing rain. I will not be missing Massachusetts, like ever.

I'm in purgatory, paying for my sins

It's cold and I can't catch my breath

So bright it stings my eyes, I am blind



My sentence is almost done

True repentance for my crimes

Warm days are almost here



It's hard to say good bye

But there is nothing here for me

I'll leave with out a word



Good bye old life, hello highway

Need to put miles in between

Life is pushing me out the door