The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Shep's Update
13:58 Jan 28 2015
Times Read: 308

It seems like ages ago that Shep crashed his girlfriend's car. In reality, it's only been a matter of days. He went into surgery on Sunday and the plate in his skull is fixed. He's stable, he's recovering, and most importantly, he's out of the woods.



Monday night we had a "blizzard". A travel ban was imposed with a hefty fine for any one caught violating it. That meant not being able to visit Shep all yesterday. It was torture.



Something weird happened during the storm. All the other towns in the Pioneer Valley got 10+ inches of snow. My town, specifically only got about 6" - if that. I was ready to be snowed in, but all we got was a dusting.



My friends knew how bummed out I was over Shep. Since we can't drive, we went snow mobiling all day. It was epic and awesome. We stopped at a few places for a drink, snack, and a chance to warm up. It was a very awesome and welcomed distraction.

My heart is breaking
13:31 Jan 25 2015
Times Read: 334

I don't know how much I'm gonna be on VR for the next week...



I got shitty news last night. One of my best friends, my guardian angel Shep crashed his car in the after math from the storm. My life line is hanging on by a thread and it's killing me. He already has been through so much trauma, has a plate in his skull, and the narliest scars I've even seen. How much more can one person take?



It's selfish for me to want him to hang on. I know it is, but I'm not the only one. He has a beautiful 9 month old daughter. She needs him more than I do. He can't go, he just can't. I'm not ready to say good bye.



The storm is over, the sun is out, ... and my heart is broken. The light mocks my pain. When I had no one and nothing, I had Shep. When I couldn't take another step forward, he carried me, full speed we'd run. We use to talk of leaving it all behind.



If anyone on this Earth knows who I truly am, it's Shep. He'll take my secrets to the grave. I don't want to go to work tomorrow and not see him. I don't want to see the sympathetic looks or hear the questions.



If I can take energy, can I give energy? I'll drain myself dry if it saves him...

13:20 Jan 23 2015
Times Read: 340

Today is off to a shitty start. The time to get the fuck out of dodge is at hand...

Boston for The Olympics
13:04 Jan 21 2015
Times Read: 351

I can't believe that some people are able to plan this far ahead... but Boston is trying to win the bid for the 2024 Summer Olympics. I find it exciting that a huge, international event could be hosted an hour a way from my home. Boston certainly has the land, spirit, security, and connections to turn this dream into a reality.



However, I remember a certain " Big Dig" eating away at the State's finances. Roads and bridges on this side of the state are in dire need of repair. For lengthy amounts of time (even several years in some cases) commuters have been forced to take detours that can take upwards of an extra hour due to a bridge or road closing. Whatever happened to fixing your finances before you take on major investments? For that reason, I just can't get excited or support Boston's bid to host the 2024 Olympics.



I will say one neat thing about progress in the state of Massachusetts. The state has repaired our old rail road system and now we have quick, cheap transportation to travel between Western and Eastern Massachusetts. Hopefully this new venture will boost our tourism industry bring much needed money to my side of the state.



As far as state pride goes - just look at our sports teams: The Patriots (how many times have we played in the super bowl now) (although there is already a scandal this year), The Red Sox (Yup we were under a curse from Babe Ruth, but that's all over now), The Celtics (hey, they were actually good in the 80's), and The Bruins (pretty sure they have won a Stanley Cup or two). You just don't see fans like the ones in Boston. Loud and Proud.

Daily Metaphor
22:46 Jan 20 2015
Times Read: 356

I am happily reunited with myself once again. I walk along the edge of the ravine and even though I stumble at times, I never fall too far. Like the beast I chase in my dreams, I am good on my feet.



It has become dawn. Getting by is no longer enough. The time to dream among the stars is almost at hand. I must stay in touch with myself. Stop the charge and reflect. Take a moment to breath in sharp clean air. Listen to the wind, hear it's secrets in my ear.



I am full of toxins. Thorns stuck in my skin. I need to rid myself of them. He says he is kin. I feel nothing. The spark is not there. The boy does not have the gift. The boy wants the girl. The boy pretends. The boy should know better. The girl sees into his soul. He is special, no doubt, but he lies about his true self. It simply isn't there.



I wish he could see why it was never meant to be. I wish he could see all my flaws, open and exposed. I am not who he wants me to be. I am not the person he thinks I am. I will never be her. I will never see him through those eyes. He doesn't stop to think about what I want, what's best for me. He isn't a rock. He cares about me, not for me. He doesn't understand the difference.



He is chasing a lone wolf into the dark woods. He lags behind as the wolf leaps and bounds. Soon he will be lost. He hears the wolf howling in the distance. The boy should not chase evil. He runs and runs, chasing the sound. He stumbles and slams to the ground. He pulls himself up and keeps moving forward. Rocks under foot bring him face to the earth. Skin raw, red, and bleeding. Lungs ache for air. The wolf howls from all around. The boy drops to his knees. Head in hands, he weeps. The boy should not chase evil.



Know thyself.

PRIVATE ENTRY
19:23 Jan 18 2015
Times Read: 363


• • • • PRIVATE JOURNAL ENTRY • • • •

I am a picky eater
00:28 Jan 17 2015
Times Read: 372

I know, I know it's a lame topic choice for tonight - but who doesn't love food?



When I was a very young I would only eat plain bread, bananas, and cashews. My mom was a home maker when I was very small. She would make all these elaborate dinners pot roast, baked potato, stuffing, some sort of vegetable medley. Night after night we'd wage battle at the dinner table. I'd sit and sit for hours at the table staring at my untouched dinner but never once surrendered.



As a teenager I survived off of popcorn, poptarts, chicken nuggets, and hot pockets.



I hate avocado. I hate egg yolk. I hate most types of cheese (I only like mozzarella and cheddar and only when it's hot and melty). I hate tuna and salmon. I hate goat cheese. I hate sauerkraut. I hate sausage. I hate beans.



When I eat, I eat my food in a specific order of pieces and bites. I only eat one side of an Oreo with the cream. I won't eat the remaining Oreo "tops". I only eat the middle of Poptarts.



I love soda and energy drinks. My favorite is Monster Purple Punch (ironically it's Dubs Edition). I love Mountain Dew, especially code red. I love sour gummy worms and skittles. I prefer waffles to pancakes. I won't eat french toast.



I am not big on brownies. I hate chocolate ice cream. I love donuts and vanilla cupcakes.



This year I've made huge changes to my diet. Junk food doesn't make me over weight, but I know it's terrible for me all the same. I try to drink lots of water with lemon. I try to eat more fruits and veggies every day. I a breakfast sandwich consisting of egg whites, bacon, cheddar cheese, and jalapenos made with home made whole wheat toast. I find myself liking spicy food in the morning because it really does wake me up and I drink less coffee.



And there's my food thoughts

23:53 Jan 15 2015
Times Read: 378






Today was awesome! I was on stand by for my work today. Fortunately, I didn't get called in. I have an "in" at a ski resort that's about an hour and a half away from where I live.



So my day started off with an epic car ride to the mountains. I had good tunes blasting and the sun was shining. When I got the resort I had to stop by the administration building where I got a serious hook up! I have a season's pass!!! This will probably be my happiest moment of the month.



Up the chair lift I rode. I didn't miss a beat. I haven't skied in over a year, but it was so familiar it felt as if it was yesterday. I started off by sticking to the easy trails. I stopped every now and then to take a picture. It was weird not having a ski buddy, but to be honest, I loved the solitude.



Everyone on the mountain was so friendly. The weather was perfect. The trails were amazing. Today is a *5* star day.

03:24 Jan 14 2015
Times Read: 385

http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2014/12/northampton_police_advise_resi.html



I think I am shock...



I work at a high end, trendy restaurant. We open early for breakfast. Every day our early bird regulars line up at the door waiting for us to open. Some days I embrace the predictability, while other days I lose my patience a little ( do you really have no life that you need to come to the same place everyday and make sure that you're the first guest in the door? ). I only get 30 minutes to set up the dining room and I hate to be rushed just so some one can get their vanilla almond scone and double latte 5 minutes early!



There is couple that comes every morning religiously. They are gay and I hate to say they fit the stereotype, but they do. Jim is hair dresser and a total diva. He always wants to talk about Hollywood. Glen is a contractor and is a little on the shy side. I just assumed he was quiet and a deep thinker. They come in every day bursting with energy and some mornings it is just too much. They normally get a few pastries and coffee over on our cafe / bar side. Every once and a while they will eat in the dining room. They always request me on those days.



I've had so many conversations with them. We talk about movies, music, social events, politics. I have even shared some of my personal life with them (stories about the kids or my pets, what I did on my day off, etc). I was even planning on scheduling my next hair cut with Jim.



This morning I found out Glen is a level 3 sex offender. The area police put out a public warning in the media. They caution that he is likely to offend. 10 minutes after the shocking discovery, they walked in the door. I was so appalled. I wanted to give him a beat down. I saw the pair in a whole different light and it is certainly not pretty.



I am glad I know the truth, but that doesn't help me when I have to interact with them on a daily basis. I wish that we could kick them out of the restaurant and refuse service. We can't though. Legally it is considered discrimination. I understand he has "served" his punishment for the crime, but I don't think it is justice, certainly not for the victims.



Maybe tomorrow I will post the news article on our front door. I don't want see or hear that vile deviant ever again.

Unlocking the chakras
21:00 Jan 12 2015
Times Read: 392

EARTH CHAKRA



It is located at the base of your spine. It is your survival spot. It is blocked by fear.



Must I face my own fears to unlock this chakra?

I fear that I will cease to exist after my death. My life, the one I am currently deeply involved in will cease. I will never see my friends and loved ones again? Will I be a spirit? Will I be reincarnated? Will I ever know what becomes of my legacy?



I fear abandonment, not being attached to another soul.



I fear rejection and failure, even though it surrounds me



Spiders and snakes creep me out



I fear gross tasting food like egg yolks or goat cheese



I fear being ugly. Sorry, I am vain



I fear confrontation



I hate being in an enclosed space in a space (like a car in a covered bridge or tunnel). Fuck, tunnels.



Heights make me dizzy.

snow day
23:20 Jan 09 2015
Times Read: 408

This morning was cold and snowy. There was such a thicken tension in the air. Totally frozen, I did my usual morning routine (sans coffee). I finally got the motivation to make my own damn cup and that is when I saw that somebody smashed a hole through my microwave. I am guessing it was the person I saw with a bloody fist. I hope it hurt. Good thing I really don't like the microwave. The chillins use it though, so I am upset on their behalf. Typical.



The snow was falling hard when I left the house. I was at peace driving to work in the dark, snow falling, so cozy. I had the heat cranked and good tunes blasting. I find myself in the jeep a lot these days.



Worked sucked. It was dead. I made no money all morning. We had some traffic for lunch though. Not looking forward to later.

Back to the muck
21:37 Jan 08 2015
Times Read: 414

I had a bad night a couple of nights ago... I feel bad rehashing it, but since then i am not in the mood to talk

We've got snow!
14:40 Jan 04 2015
Times Read: 420

As I predicted our snow storm is over. It is too warm out today, most of this snow will met. So sad, too bad. It was beautiful while it lasted.



The weather in this state is changing. We've had too many warm days. Its saddens me. New England's weather has been slowly changing over time. Our summers and winters are hotter and rainier than they use to be. Sometimes I'll joke that we're the new Florida. It is what is, but I miss my Nor'easters. I miss the wind picking up the snow making drifts as it goes. I miss not being able to see above the snow banks.

23:24 Jan 02 2015
Times Read: 430

Today isn't worth a good rating... yet. It is only 6 pm and I am itching outta my skin to get out and get my wild on.



Woke up to coffee. Forgot to drink it. Fell back asleep. Got back up to call into work. Saw texts indicating I was most likely going in. Ignored it. Called in. Yup. Today didn't get to be my day off. Drank coffee. Had a quick bitch & gripe session, got cleaned up, went to work. Really not exciting or even remotely interesting.



However, next Monday is my work party so both crews from the two locations will be there. That means C will be there. A little background on C: He's my ex boyfriend. Started off as a really sweet guy. Bent over backwards and made me smile ear to ear. Not on my level in anyway, but we had some very good times between the sheets. Long story short, the relationship had zero growth potential. We dated for about 2 years. C had too many flaws, too unmotivated, total burn out, can be completely thoughtless, never makes good on a promise. Shit that urked that hell outta me. The break up was sudden and it sucked. It was the best way to rip a bandaid off though, quick and all at once. C wanted to stay friends. When I brought back his IPod Touch (that I fixed cuz he broke it in a washing machine) he tried to get me to sleep with him again. I refused. Normally I'd say yeah to the whole strings thing,



I'll explain more later, fun just arrived.

So uh Happy New Years?
21:58 Jan 01 2015
Times Read: 436

I had to open today at work, which meant I couldn't really stay up too late. Plus I had to cancel my plans last night because I needed to stay at home (sick kids). So I got to work before the crack of dawn... would have been nice if the other opener showed up. Ugh, teenagers!



It wasn't exactly a total disaster. Good thing I have my own system and don't rely on others anyways. We opened and life goes on.



Around 12, my boss asked if anyone drives a black, Ford Escape. I don't. I've got a black jeep cherokee, definitely NOT a Ford. It ended up being my friend's car. Some one smashed her windows, stole her baby's car seat, and his stroller. Here the poor girl is working her ass off on New Years day and some one trashes her car and steals things that she NEEDS for her infant son. So messed up. So wrong.



And if that wasn't shitty enough, she found out a friend OD'ed last night and died. So two really bad things happened right off the bat as soon as 2015 begins.



Makes me wonder what is in store for me.