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i have been doing some heavy thinking about whats going on in my life
no one in my family can see how i feel cause i hide it really good from them
i have no choice but to hide things from them cause they just dont understand how i feel i tried telling them my feelings but they always tell me everything will be alright but to be honest nothing will be alright.
i been in the darkness for along time now and i just cant get out of it i feel that my inner self has been draged downward fighting to get free from it all but i just cant fight it anymore i,m slowly letting it all go i.m trying my best to be normal but i find it really hard all i want is to escape and live my life the way i want to..but with my family budding into my life and telling me how to live is making me feel even worse then i feel now ugh.

it stormed lastnight and i felt all filled with energy it was like i was feeding from the storm i also feed from peoples moods i can feel what they feel which sometimes makes me want to scream and crawl into a hole and hide that way i wont feel mood swings or energy from other people its worse when i feed from my aunts energy or when she is in a bad or happy mood i can feel it ugh why cant i just be normal?

yesterday was an alright day all i did was level my profile and just relax before i went to bed which i slept pretty good kept have strange dreams though and i woke up at 515am made a pot of coffee and played a game.
my aunts stll sleeping thank god cause she needs it big time she dont sleep much anymore these days and shes been really sick the past few days and i been taking care of her since then which dont bother me i dont mind taking care of her cause i know she would do the same for me if i was sick she has when i was down with the flu she took good care of me.

i woke up with my cat laying right next to me..shes such a lovable kitty
she use to belong to my dad but when he passed away i took over taking care of her
she means alot to me.

today has been very pieceful my aunt just got home from the hospital and is now resting trying to get some sleep that she did not get yesterday poor thing was in such pain that she had to go to the hospital just to see what was wrong with her arm but well she was gone i got some sleep lastnight which i needed even though i woke up at 5am but i still slept really good though it felt like heaven.

i walked 3 blocks today two times and now i,m in for the night
it was hot outside today and my body is hurting badly took meds for it
i might take a few hit off my pipe tonight but not sure yet have not made up my mind about that yet
it might help with the pain

the day is starting to end its already 4:31 pm i took a 20 minute nap was hoping it be a little longer then that but lana called me on skype waking me up i been up since 2am so i,m a bit tired but i will deal with it for now and just level up my profile to 80..so yeah my heads hurting a little guess its from not sleeping much i been going to bed early and waking up early

I woke up early made a pot of coffee and about to have me a smoke
talked to my aunt for a few minutes well the coffee was making and then went back into my room
and got on gta for awhile to see what was going on well not much i can see...
now i,m on vr writting in my journal haha...

i walk down a dark path
my heart pounding within my chest
theres nothing but silince not even the wind blowing
i see nothing but shadows following me
i try to find a place to hide but there was no place
to be safe...

written
by
DreamEscape

i thought the drama was over with...it seems like i always get put in the middle of the drama bullshit
it needs to stop i,m getting a little annoyed with it
but i,m just gonna stay the hell hout of it and go on leveling and not let any of this bother me
yeah i,m bestfriends with lana and have been for a very long time and julie is my godchild but that
dont mean that i,m in the middle of the drama..(.cause i,m not)

COMMENTS

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BlackenWings
02:04 Jul 25 2019

Thats the right thing to do honestly

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ShadowedKitten
02:16 Jul 25 2019

Baha!
Was it about me?
I bet it's about me!

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DreamEscape
14:30 Jul 25 2019

lol...i guess it is shadowedkitten i only heard about when i got on skype (sighs)
theres always drama around me lol

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POST COMMENT

good morning and good day
i woke up late today felt good to sleep in
i normally get up between 3 or 4 in the morning
but not today haha

COMMENTS

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LORDMOGY
13:34 Jul 24 2019

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well its 4:53 am and im wide awake trying to make up my mind about making a pot of coffee or not
i normally get up and take my meds and then make some coffee but i just dont want to wake up my aunt cause shes sleeping good she dont normally sleep that well so i,m gonna let her rest cause she needs it
so im sitting here thinking about playing dauntless for awhile not sure yet what im gonna do ugh

I have been thinking alot lately about things that is going through my mind
things i choose not to talk about..my past what i did and did,nt do
who i hurt the most i have done alot of shit in my past that i wish i did,nt do
but thats my past and this is my now.

Well Hello everyone
let me start by saying this...i have been here along time
this is my first lifetime my godchild got it for me which was very sweet of her to do
she even got me a playstation plus so i could play some games that you need to play
else i got something to do when i dont feel like being on he laptop i kinda get tired of typing it makes my hands hurt.
but i only use the laptop to talk to my bestfriend on skype and to get on vampire rave with

well just sitting here minding my own and playing my game dauntless
yeah i dont play it much anymore but else i have it to play when i want to
things have been stessful the past few months with my aunt judy being sick
and me having to takecare of her until she gets better and i hope its soon
so i can sit back and just relax

i,m over at my aunt roses and tommorrow going to the hospital
to see my aunt judy i spend all day cleaning and now my back is killing me like crazy
right now i bet its from cleaning and bending ugh but it had to be done