I have to say Christmas is not my favourite time of the year. And it starts happening earlier and earlier every year... ugh.
Anyways I was sent this so I thought you might all enjoy it. I know I did ;)
I hate today.
Just thought I'd let you know that.
Hate everything. Hate work, hate people. Hate life. Hate my flat. Hate the weather. Everything.
And it's only 7.46am. >.>
*sighs*
Lonely and jealous and tired and old.
...I've just had one of the best weeks ever. In my entire life even.
I went to a course this week for 2 days. It was great. Had fun, learnt a bunch, connected with people. Really boosted my mood and morale.
Wednesday night was the cincher.... discussing metaphysical abstracts with a very dear friend and had an epiphanical moment... accompanied by a very real sense of the most abundant, most heartfelt joy I've experienced in a very long time, if ever. It was real love, soul lifting and inspiring, honest soft and welcoming, magickal.
I'm still experiencing it =) It's absolutely great!
And then afterwards I went and gave myself a fabulous orgasm. Lol! Quite the night ;)
Anyhoo so I have to start planning my trip over. Instead of just fluffing it and saying I want to go places and do things. I need to put things down in concrete.
So. Here are my definites so far:
... that people can write UTTER AND ABSOLUTE CRAP THREADS (and seriously people, the thread quality is dwindling faster than the ozone layer lately) in the main forum and nothing happens... and I leave a post stating my honest opinion which CERTAIN MEMBERS OF THE SITE ADMIN happen to disagree with, and I get slapped across the wrist? Explain to me how this is fair, please.
And look what I just hit!!!
Your Status: Sire (Level 28)
You have completed 100% of this level.
Pages Viewed Score: 29 x .30 = 8.7
Time Spent Score: 28 x .50 = 14
Ratings Score: 26 x .10 = 2.6
Posts Score: 22 x .10 = 2.2
Score: 27.5
Referral Points: 0
Referral Modifier: 1
Mark Bonus: 2%
Mark Modifier: 1.02
Total Score: 27.5
Ratings Score: 26 ( 8835 of 15483 or 57.06% )
Currently at 95% of level 27. Still. Lol.
Note to self... change rating stamp for level 28 so I know who I've rated recently...
Back to work tomorrow, blah =( What fun.
Had a great game of D&D today, took forever (epic ship battle - we took out 275 NPC's... lol) but jumped 2 levels! Well 3, but I had to drop back to make up for my +1 template... woo. So I'm now a 4th level tiefling warlock. Oh and I found a pic for my character:
Have I mentioned lately how much I loathe being sick??? Well I do. With a passion.
Also, being sick with a cold and having a smoker around you is even more disgusting and cough inducing than usual. Ugh.
Brain is so not working right now... I'd love to go and post some in the forums but am not really thinking the straightest right now... also of course the fact that there's very little in there to post back to... yeah...
Those of you who read this frequently know I post lyrics in here. Unless specifically stated otherwise, they're always DM lyrics. No matter how I'm feeling, there's a DM song that fits.
If I'm angry, there's a song. If I'm hurt, there's a song. Feeling in love... oh lord yes, there are songs a plenty.
I have no song for how I'm feeling right now though. And I've gone through every DM song I own. Which is every DM song.
There are no DM songs I can find for bittersweet rejection, and acceptance of loss, and moving on, and the acknowledgement that it's ok that it wouldn't have worked, and for the suspicious sense of guilty relief that it didn't...
I know you didn't want to hear that. I don't hate you, though. And I will always think of you. That feeling of the terrible mistake... maybe it was just a feeling. Maybe one day, many years from now, we'll sit back and go, huh, you know what, maybe we should have. Or not. I'm not entirely sure.
There are no DM songs to represent confusion. That's my dilemma.
Here's something that comes kind of close though.
If you need a friend
Don't look to a stranger
You know in the end
I'll always be there
And when you're in doubt
And when you're in danger
Take a look all around
And I'll be there
I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be
But if you wait around awhile I'll make you fall for me
I promise, I promise you I will
When your day is through
And so is your temper
You know what to do
I'll always be there
Sometimes if I shout
It's not what's intended
These words just come out
With no cross to bear
I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be
But if you wait around awhile I'll make you fall for me
I promise, I promise you
I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be
But if i have to walk to world I'll make you fall for me
I promise you, I promise you I will.
I need to tell ya
I gotta tell ya
I gotta tell ya
I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be
But if you wait around awhile I'll make you fall for me
I promise, I promise you
I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be
And if I have to walk to world I'll make you fall for me
I promise you, I promise you I will, I will, I will
Well this is mature isn't it. I can't PM to you, because you've blocked me, and also, because frankly I have no desire to.
You choose to leave your messages to me on my profile where anyone can see it.
Mmmm yes, that is indeed what us mature, reasoning, POLITE adults do, isn't it.
Worth a 6 huh. At least you can read mine. And it doesn't have annoying music in the background. Did you even read the contents??? Seriously doubt it.
I'm not claiming to be anyone other than what I am. I'm not claiming to have any special knowledges or backgrounds. I'm certainly not claiming to be a vampire, or other mythological creature, or heaven forfend, a SCIENTIST!!!!
I don't give a flying fuck who the hell you are or what your associations are. Sure go ahead and get this journal suspended now. See if I care. You can't censor what I put in here, as this IS the place for my thoughts, opinions and beliefs...
Let's wait and see, huh.
I dare you to unblock me from your comments STABB and see what I wrote.
Just so you know, downrating is for children. As you can no doubt see by the 10 I just gave you in return for the 6 you lovingly bestowed upon my profile.
Let's see who else joins in on the fun, shall we?
I'm sick, and I'm in a bad mood.
Deal with it.
My capacity for ignoring, or at least letting slide, the things that usually annoy me (such as, oh I don't know, RAMPANT STUPIDITY) is at an all time low.
Please, by all means, feel free to pick a fight with me today. I'd absolutely love it.
Creepy Green Light |
Meh. Random anger.
Yeah you know what? You can suck my fucking dick.
I have leave from work from the 19th of December to the 11th of January... not entirely sure how I snaffled those prime dates but oh well ;) Not complaining.
I went into a travel agent the other day and found out I defnitely have to have a return ticket for my epic U.S. adventure. Which means I'll have to get one of those flexible tickets since I don't know when I'm coming back, if at all. Dammit. They cost a fortune >.>
I still haven't worked out an itinerary yet anyways. I know I'm starting in New Orleans, so I'll be there a week or so. Maybe longer. I have friends in Alabama, Pheonix, Iowa and a couple of other places to impose myself upon. The rest of the time I think I'll be pretty much travelling solo. Which is a bit daunting but exhilarating overall... I just wish I could drive so I could go wherever I wanted.
It will work out though. Plenty of time yet. I will draw up a list the next few months of everything I want to go do and see. Then figure out if my savings will hold up to the strain ;)
So seriously if anyone is interested in a visitor, please let me know =)
Step out of your cage |
Not long got home, went to a movie after work and saw 30 Days of Night which I quite liked. It had Melissa George in it! Go Aussies ;)
Though I found the movie's depiction of vampires a bit icky. Definitely not the tragically beautiful gothic romance type. Though, they still felt. They were still moved by things other than the constant thirst for blood. Granted not a whole lot, but they were.
And I found the ending sad... at least he wasn't alone.
But anyhoo. Other than that I am soooooo glad this week of early shifts is done with.
And I'm getting very, very tired of seeing the same old crap in the forums over and over again. Who gives a fuck about ghosts and whether they're spirits or souls or something from another dimension? Honestly. Find something new and interesting to talk about!!!! And don't just copy it off another website and say "discuss" at the end!!!! Gah!!!
Right. Rant of the night over. Must be time for bed. Have a big weekend of gaming ahead of me ;)
Last day of early shift... THANK GOD!!!!
Can't handle going to bed by 8.30-9.00pm just so I can function reasonably well at this hour of the morning!!!!
Back to a normal roster next week - I think I'm gonna beg a day off next week... as we're 2 weeks into the roster already and I haven't had one yet. Bastards.
This afternoon I must remember to put in my passport renewal form. Don't forget!!!
I'm on early shifts at work this week. Up at 4.30am. It's 7.55pm right now and I'm exhausted. No game for me this week... bleh...
Going to go to bed pretty much now... not good for anything else really...
I will be offline this weekend as it's my mum's birthday on Saturday and we're doing stuff together. I even cancelled games for her! Lol. The love ;)
Those of you who don't know I will be attending the VR Meetup in August next year. This is big for me as I'm on the other side of the world ;) I'm planning on staying in the U.S. for at least 3 months so if anyone wants a visitor please do let me know! Lol.
Here is my to-do list for the next few months:
COMMENTS
-