The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

a different day

the same game

love abounds

i feel it, you feel it

my heart explodes with what i feel

i wish i could share it with the world

and it's not just the drug

although that was the catalyst

it's an opening

a new direction

more of me to give

more of you to take

more of us to share

and new satellites

a four way kiss

life is so good

i hope it never ends

I am trapped

Trapped by my empathy

By my need to care for others

To care for you.

Automatic self exclusion

No recognition of available options

Wanting to be cared for in return...

Empathy unreturned is a bitch.

i am not the type to inspire devotion

or other excesses of feeling

the best i can do is warmth and fondness

and maybe a little affection

maybe

Live is a vortex

A greedy consuming maelstrom

Sucking and clawing and pulling under

And there is no escape

Just a last frantic anguished glimpse

Of clear skies

So far above

Contemplating the directions I've taken

The people I've seen, the places I've been.

Why is it that I know so few

Affect so few

Touch so few.

It is only when we are about to lose something that we question it's validity.

If it is hard for me to make friends

Then it's nigh on impossible for me to go deeper.

But that's want I want.

That eternal, whining, Dickensian plaint...

I feel resigned to what I already have.

Relegated to the lower order by virtue of the fact of my aloneness, my separatness, my singleness...

My oneness.

And yet, wanting more, I strive to reach out

And be reached in return.

So this is my situation:

A questioning, querying, quixiotic conundrum

Continuously continuing

World without end.

Smiling for no reason.

Nothing overtly mystical -

Just a reaffirmation

Of caring.

Appreciating once again what was neglected:

The affection of my long-suffering feline companion,

The gorgeous autumnal foliage of the maple across the street,

The warmth of the sun on closed eyelids,

The lights of the city shimmering like contstant nebulae.





Warmth shared

Comfort freely offered

Understanding given

Acceptance... complete.

Cold fingers, numb hands.

Typing in the vain hope of a response.

Hello?

Nobody wants to play with me

(dejected figure in the corner of the playground)

Does anybody actually read this?

Write a witty comment and the world will remember you...

My vain visions of eternity are only fulfilled

In these efforts at electric immortality.

I was raised as a Catholic

So I find a subtle eroticism in many things.

Continued denial leads to ultimate betrayal

Of yourself.

Luckily, I'm not religious any more.

As skin is stretched and drawn and split

A brief murmur

Of pain or desire?



Capably he wields his tools.



Warmly encased in latex

Pungent scent of rubber is an embrace.



Rush of adrenaline

Quivering, panting, tingling;

Walking dizzy heights.



A tear or two -

Of excitement or despair?

(What's done is done

And cannot be undone)

Eternity in his eyes -

My universe to behold.

Like the stars, they shine bright.

Like our love, they grow cold.