Names15:53 Jul 27 2007
Times Read: 811
Was sitting here thinking of names, designations that people use to represent themselves. Lookin at the Who's Online page in here is a perfect example of the thought processes people use in determining the string of characters which represent themselves.
Once you pick a name, it is yours, so hope you choose it wisely. Because it is stuck with you now, no matter what you do or say. The image has been determined. Or as Lady Macbeth would say, what's done is done and cannot be undone.
Thinking back on my own names and wondering how others thought of me based on my own string of characters. At the time I (generally) put a lot of thought into my names. I wanted to make a good impression, it's a desperate need of mine, this need to be liked.
And so for my very first online name I chose something that fit with the group I was with at the time. Not reflecting me per se, but something that I grew into.
Many years back I started in IRC and was known as LucidDreamer, very vocal for a while in IRC circles until I had the misfortune of meeting the worst love mistake I ever made. Suffice it to say the name was the only thing that dreamt for many years under him.
After finally departing his shores I modified all my names to la_libertine which at first glance I thought represented my newfound freedom. After embracing the freedom I realised its other meanings and wholeheartedly embraced those as well.
(from the wiki) Libertine has come to mean one devoid of any restraints, especially one who ignores or even spurns religious norms, accepted morals, and forms of behavior sanctioned by the larger society. The philosophy gained new-found adherents in the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries, particularly in France and Britain. Notable among these were John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester, the Marquis de Sade, and Aleister Crowley. "Libertine", like many words, is an evolving one, defined today as "a dissolute person; usually a person who is morally unrestrained". In modern times, libertinism has been associated with sado-masochism, nihilism, and free love.
After a while unrestrained hedonism gets tiring, so I created new personas for gaming purposes and and was known as kali or goddesskali or kali_goddess. Chosen for many reasons, not the least of which being the holder of power, life and destruction in online rpg's (read: DM), as well as a nurturing mothering figure protecting and leading the young to safely. For some reason while I am not maternal I am considered a motherly figure, and indeed, I do care.
(again from the wiki) Kali (Sanskrit Kālī काली) is a goddess with a long and complex history in Hinduism. Although sometimes presented as dark and violent, her earliest incarnation as a figure of annihilation still has some influence, while more complex Tantric beliefs sometimes extend her role so far as to be the Ultimate Reality (Brahman) and Source of Being. Finally, the comparatively recent devotional movement largely conceives of Kali as a straightforwardly benevolent mother-goddess. Therefore, as well her association with the Deva (god) Shiva, Kali is associated with many Devis (goddesses) - Durga, Badrakali, Bhavani, Sati, Rudrani, Parvati, Chinnamasta, Chamunda, Kamakshi or kamakhya, Uma, Meenakshi, Himavanti, Kumari and Tara. These names, if repeated, are believed to give special power to the worshipper.
It was under this moniker I met the second worst love mistake of my life, known as Living Dead, hence I modified my name to Living Dead Girl. For a few reasons, yes, I would do anything for my love, even changing my identity for them. But also for the love of the song and the images it represents. As the Girl of the Living Dead I attained a certain notoriety which I must say I enjoyed even if it was assumed.
A brief period of time later (less than 12 months) it all fell apart, he used me for all that he could. The goddess was no more, and the Girl was truly Dead.
So the gaming stopped and once again a new name was needed.
Hearkening back to older times I chose my current name which I (if no-one else) feels is truly unique amongst online names and a fair representation of me.
Drakontion is a Greek word with two meanings, the one which I hold most dear is "little dragon" and the backup meaning is "dragonwort" a medieval medicinal herb. I pick little dragon though for my love of the animal and because anything "little" can be loved, and really at the end of the day, that is what I am after.
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