Friendship?21:52 Jul 19 2010
Times Read: 511
I live by a basic set of guidelines that are trust, honour, respect.
Over the last few years I have had a friendship with someone, who at first had a lot of turmoil in her life. I would meet up with her after work, go to her workplace, come out in the middle of the night if she needed. To be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. She said that she greatly appreciated my help over the first year. Gradually she got herself back on her feet.
We lost contact for a short while. Which gave myself time to reflect upon the friendship in which I had with said person. There was a trend, everything was the way she wanted it, at the time it was all happening I was worried for her safety, and so made allowances and bent over backwards for her, even though many a time I was already deep in a problem of my own.
Upon making contact again, she would request to meet up every five or ten minutes of each and every conversation. To which I apologised most of the time, I was unable to do. To my horror and disbelief, she would verbally attack me and say extremely horrid things. Many of which would breach even the most lenient site rules. My circumastances had changed during the short break in communication. Which meant I was unable to drop everything at a moments notice anymore and run out of the door. But this only enforced what I had been thinking. That everything was how she wanted.
A few days later I managed to get a calm, civil conversation with her, in which I thought was the perfect time to bring up the friendship and the view in which I had on things. Also bringing up about trust, honour and respect. To this she told me that I had broken all of them with her, by refusing to meet up with her as I was having a night in with my partner.
To recap, for over a year I was at her beck and call, we lost contact (both having a lot going on), we make contact again, and for one refusal to meet up, I have broken all rules of friendship.
Not once within the time we were meeting regularly was I able to talk about my issues also. Which in my opinion is how part of a friendship works, we should be able to discuss our issues and delights in equal measure to one another. Though this has not been the case.
Over the next few months (almost to present day), I had contacted her asking if she wished to come around my place to chat, out of the rain and cold, in the dry and warm. She said she promised to come round soon. Upon this we agreed a day and time. This day came, I tried to contact her via SMS and calls, within 5 minutes she turned her phone off, and then didn't contact me for days on end. We made contact again, her reason was "I didn't feel like coming around and couldn't be bothered to tell you that."
This set in stone the next few weeks, in which I have informed her that the friendship is meant to be a 50/50 relationship between the two people in the bond. I refuse to be at her beck and call. She wants everything of me, yet when I ask to meet up with her around mine (due to being tied to home for many reasons), she claims it to be boring and pointless.
Yet me spending 6 hours at her workplace 90% of the time it being boring and pointless, so that I could be there for her, was classed as "In the past, and we should move on from the past."
All in all, too many times to count promises have been broken, her anger at me for trying to be myself has been overwhelming.
Is it wrong for me to call and end to this person and cut them out of my life?
If anyone has anything thoughts don't hesitate to leave a comment.
COMMENTS
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gothicvampyrgurl
15:38 Jul 25 2010
Sir, a friend is willing to listen and comfort. Which you did. In return the other person should have the sense to do the same. Which she did not. Do what you think is best for you but i have had the same issue. I did cut the person out of my life after she started talking about my brother(My he rest in peace) in rude and intollerable ways. Esspecially since she did not know him. Ever since then, I have been happier and made more friends. If you think you will be happier without her then you should do it. But only if you think it's right. :)