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I was depressed and started drinking..And now all is fine..Getting drunk solves all your problems..(well at least for me) I am messed up in the head I suppose..But HWo cares I am driunk and all is well..SO when you are feeling down turn the bottle upside down..And then you'lls smile..Even if its for a little while

My thoughts to people before I Die..I love this poem..







Love me now



If you are ever going to love me,

Love me now, while I can know

The sweet and tender feelings

That from true affection flow.



Love me now

While I am living.

Do not wait until I'm gone

And then have it chiseled in marble,

Sweet words on ice-cold stone.



If you have tender thoughts of me,

Please tell me now.

If you wait until I am sleeping,

Never to awaken,

There will be death between us,

And I won't hear you then.



So if you love me, even a little bit,

Let me know while I am living,

So I can treasure it.



by: Robert Paul Moreno

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette

She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget

We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time

But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind

Until the night





He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away her memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength he had to get up off his knees

We found him with his face down in the pillow

With a note that said I'll love her till I die

And when we buried him beneath the willow

The angels sang a whiskey lullaby

(Sing lullaby)



The rumors flew but nobody know how much she blamed herself

For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath

She finally drank her pain away a little at a time

But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind

Until the night





She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger

And finally drank away his memory

Life is short but this time it was bigger

Than the strength she had to get up off her knees

We found her with her face down in the pillow

Clinging to his picture for dear life

We laid her next to him beneath the willow

While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

(Sing lullaby)

I am so drained right now..I am shaking adn I have not eaten..I'm not sleeping good, even though that's all I want to do...



I am drained mentally, physically, spirtually and every other way that you can be drained...I haven't been drained like this ina long time...



All of the issues and situations going on are bringing me down..It's bad when I'm to the point that I want to sleep, because I hate sleep. I love to eat but I refuse to do so.I don't want to nor do I desire to eat. I suppose in my mind I figure if I don't eat or drink I will wither away and die. But I do not have an appetite none the less..



I have stopped careing. It's as if the world has stopped to me..Like I'n in my own bubble of tourture and pain and theer is nothing that I can do to get out. Yet Peopel are on the outside looking in laugh at my tourment. Thinking it is funny..For noone really cares and my life is just a show to them. A side show attraction at a county fair. Therefore I care not..I have no feelings or emotions. I could care less if I dropped dead writing this. It would be for the better in the end...



I hate to suffer like this and feel the way I do but I guess I deserve it for being the piece of shit that I am...But that's the way it's been all my life..Me waiting for death to know on my door and take me away. And yet I feel as if he has been so close. As if he were abpout to enter the room, but he turns and walks away taunting me. making me wait another day, week, year, decade or even another centuray, so I can suffer...



My pain is on the inside. In my heart and my head...I want to make myslef feel it on the physical leval as well...I want to cut..Gashes. I want to bleed puddles. I want to just suffer in pain. For I do not feel the hurt of it as I feel the mental and spirtual and emotional pain I am going through...For I do not feel physical pain muchat all but I do feel the release that it brings...And to see that blood flowing what a joy to taste it would be grand...Knowing that it is flowing, letting out my life that is bliss...



If I could deal with this better it would be nice. But it is hard to deal with the fact that I am a piece of shit and always have been and always will be. It's nice to be reminded of that as well...Cause it let's you know that you are right.



I know some people will try to say other wise.And that I am a great person. But they do not know the inner workings of me..They see what they want what I give to them..Noone knows the inside. The darkness and pain. The thoughts I think. They say that I am a good person and they would miss me if I was gone. But I doubt it. I'm just another spec in this world. One speck doesnt make a differance. My soul has not had a huge reaction in anyones life for the better. The world would be better off with out me. No worries..I do not like people worrying about me. For I am nothing to worry about. If I were to die I would be dead. People would move on and never know the differance...



I don't want people to feel bad that I feel this way. I feel this way on my own form my own view of myself and what bullshit has been rammed down my throught by others and thier views about me. For I am nothing to worry about nothing to shed a tear for.. I have a saying "Don't Cry For Me I'm Already Dead". I live by that..There is no reason to cry over a soul that is alread lost and gone.



I hate me. I do, i do, for all things I am and will be and have been. I have been shit my whole life. I am shit now and I will be shit forever more. I have given up all my hope and faith...I need something to believe in. All I have to believe in now is Death. And my own shame and self worth..Which is none...



I don't know what else to say.I am lost and confussed. Unwanted and Unlove...Wnader around in emotional pain and sorrow. Not knowing where to turn waiting for the shrouded figuer to take me by the hand and lead me down the path I was ment to follow...

You look at me and you look into the eyes of a broken man...I am nothing more than a piece of shit and I am constantly reminded of it..



I do nothing good for anyone, and I am the root of thier problems...If I would have never been born the world would be better off...I wish I could die...That would be the best for all...



In my sad sad world of sorrow and doubt, there is no light...i wish to meet my grave. I am good for nothing nor anybody...I make the lives of those around me worse...I have never done anything good for anyone...All that I do is wrong and I am the ultimate bad guy..



I care not about myself nor anything...If I were to die everything in the world would be right. Not a tear shed, nor a whimmper let out. Just the joy of the thought that I was dead and in the ground...



I hate Dull blades for all in my ouse are..I want to cut so bad. If I could I would and I would bleed till I could not bleed no more..A puddle of blood with me within..What a site that would be..A good picture I think...It would make people happy..



I hate me...To the point I have beat the shit out of myself today...If I ever matter it has never shown. I am worthless. I have no cause...I mean nothing to the world or those that are in it..



A rope would be nice..Hanging myslef what a pleasure that would be...A gun would be fast and messy..I do not care how I would die as long as I did..It matters not though...



I wish I could tell the world good bye and tell it to kiss my ass...I hate everything..I hate me the most..I hate my pain and sadness..I hate it all I hate because I am nothing....