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you know what really angers me? the point that I study, clean the house, take care of dad all the time that got cancer and cook for him and hardly go out and have a life myself and his sisters and their goddamn husbands come into your house once a week and tell me I am dirty, thrashy, lousy and useless fucker. and when they know i am study, keep telling me that if I didn't make it well at school before I will remain the same retarded in the future. what the bloody fuck? I am trying to learn in life and find a way to educate myself and they tell me this, and the house its not speck and clean and not a housewife work done in it but a normal 25 nearly 26 year old person who is busy as hell everyday and try its best to do all in one day and still call it dirty and bitch about it?



I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!



If I ever have my own house these kind of people will be kicked out or even better. not invited to come near the house at all and I will sever the ties with them.



Yes i am sounding cruel and harsh but enough is enough and I can't take shit anymore. no one seems to respect me. thats my rant today and fuck the rest.

My pressure is really high and my chest is in pain. too much palpitations lately and that is not good. I need to find a comfort but the one i know am afraid to be a burden so I keep quite and other thing I am tryin to keep away though I am tempted to get my hands on alcohol and forget the shit happened for 2 days and i will be in peace for that time being.



everyone say alcohol is not a solution. than what? risking on going insane? no thank you. if you don't understand keep your opinion to yourself i dont wanna hear it i would say to preachers cause i want to loose my senses and forget the reality is there and float somewhere away where there is no aunts and their nasty men around.



shit I am lost and I am going insane and I am alone. also I hate people who say I am here when you need me and never be really there when I truly need them. so keep away from me if you are one of those. damn I am really pissed off and i can't forget. I am not capable to ignore words that are painful and to keep calm is out of question.



sigh...............