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Well made it out today. Not for work but to take my kiddo to the doctor for a stray cat bite. We're sitting at the ER and waiting to be seen. The doctor is insanely worried about it. We don't know if the cat is owned or who owns it. She's got to get blood work done and we'll, rabies shots. If it isn't one thing, it's another for sure.

Another day of not being able to get out or our neighbor to be able to get in. I'm starting to laugh about it. I guess if I don't laugh, I'll cry. At least, Aurora's dad is planning on helping me some. Thank goodness. I guess we do make better friends in some instances than being together.

So frustrated with life at the moment. If it isn't one thing, it's another. My neighbor parked in the middle of the hill on our one lane road... so now that means I can't go to work even though I got my car dug out and also made arrangements for Aurora. Now my paycheck will be even shorter. I'm so over winter weather. But I have to be grateful and look at the positive. We have power and so many around us don't. We have plenty of food and water. I'm just frustrated.

COMMENTS

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MistressofChains
21:43 Feb 05 2022

hope every things ok with you

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I can't believe I was in a relationship for so long with him. Was I really that fooled? Am I just as bad as him? Today really opened my eyes. He's mad at me because I was helping Aurora with a timed assignment online for remote learning. Well, he called me during it. He asked about coming down tomorrow to see Aurora and if I was going to work. I told him point blank I didn't know what the roads would be like in the morning since it's still snowing. So he said since I wouldn't give him a straight answer, he was just going to call his boss back and work tonight. He called his boss and in the less than 5 minutes he talked to me, they found someone else to come in. He proceeded to call me and make me feel like shit telling me tomorrow is still on he guess since I kept him on the phone so long. Like um, not even going to apologize cause I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing... helping our daughter with her work on the laptop and cheering her on. Screw him.

But now I'm going down the rabbit hole, wondering if he was just here with me because he had no where else to go. Or if it was all just lies to begin with. Either way, I'm stuck with him now in a sense because we have a child together. It just sucks that he doesn't ever take her into consideration when it comes to work like it has always been. I get that work is a priority cause you need money for bills. But that job will start looking for a person to fill your position if something happens to you. Family... well, you get the point.

I guess I better quit ranting but I'll be back at some point.

So it's been a while, a long while to be exact. Aurora is now 14 years old. o_O Like where the fuck did time go? I'm not as depressed as I was but I'm an anxious mess to be honest. Little things are so hard for me to do. I'm not quite happy with how life has turned out but I'm working towards changing that. Of course, Brett and I ended about 3 years ago. We're still married but live separate lives. I'm trying to get legal aide to help me with divorce. I'm okay with myself except a couple of things. I've spent the last three years working on myself and spending time with my kiddo. It makes me upset that her dad isn't a bigger part of her life. I make all decisions by myself. He only sees her one day a week and only for 6-8 hours. It's frustrating. I don't know what to do to better the situation anymore. I've tried ignoring it. I've tried addressing it. I've tried making her appointments late as all fuck so he can make it and yet, he doesn't make it a priority. I'm at a loss.