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I've been struggling and yet, I haven't been. In putting Nala to rest, I've found an odd confidence. Kind of like the one where my dad was proud of me for killing my own kitten when I was younger and couldn't get anyone to take care of him for me.



I feel weird. I wish I could explain it better.



I've found a new kind of motivation in it all.



$150 paid and Nala is nothing but ashes. I'm getting a necklace to put some in so I always have Nala with me. X_X I'm weird like that, I guess.



I'm probably not going hunting this week. Although I'm upset about it. I'm on steroids for a really bad rash that no one has any clue what the hell it is from.



My mom and stepdad are awesome. They bought Aurora and me a new television the day after I put Nala down to cheer me up as much as possible.



I've gotten Aurora's Christmas shopping done except like three or four things. Thank you Wal-mart Thanksgiving sales to giving me an opportunity to get the expensive things she wanted. And picking up a 50" television for my mommy and stepdaddy so they have it for their new trailer. ^_^ They paid for it. I just waited in line in the craziness.



I also got my Brett Brett a tablet. I'm pretty sure he's happy.



As for Aurora, she's got an appointment to be evaluated in January to see if she has ADHD. I don't know where I stand anymore. I've been fighting with the doctor for about two years now to get this moving and now they can't look away... but I do. I want to deny it all and I know I can't. She's struggling and nothing I seem to be doing is helping any... except the Mountain Dew. She's prescribed Mountain Dew even at school. O_O She actually has a script for it. LMAO! And it's helping!



I think I need to get off of here and get to bed. 5 am is going to come too soon to make breakfast, get Aurora up and ready, get her off to school, and get Brett Brett to bed. Yep.



Maybe I will make it out into the woods for a little bit sometime. I want to go hunting... but my immune system is down.



... And I hate to admit it but I'm questioning it this year because of putting Nala Kitty down. God, I miss that cat. Insanely.



"I don't know if Heaven or Hell exist, baby, but I know he'll be waiting for you. That's the only thing I know for sure. Go to him. He's missed you."



15 years and she's gone.



I got my mom an ornament that I baked with Nala's paw prints on it and kitty fur. The fur was added because Aurora was worried that once Nala died, she's forget Nala was a black cat and think she was a gray one. O_O It turned out nicely. My mom is giving it to Aurora and I though. She said we could get something else for her.



As for Shadow, my mom sent out the rest of Nala's food and she got in trouble for knocking it down to eat it all to the point of getting sick because she didn't want Nala to have it. Bitch.



I need to stop this. I need sleep. I need to stop crying the little bit that I am. I need to take medicine for my rash again too. Ugh!



Night.