20:10 Apr 24 2006
Times Read: 863
No Way Out!
Take away this pain
Take away this life
Take everything in your hands
If only for the night
Hold me within your forgiving arms
Away from everyone, away from harm
Heart beats skipping and shallow breaths
Looking into eyes at unimaginable depths
Doing anything for the pain of love
Dying horrible deaths of a million and one
Die, die, die, die within my love
Give up, die now, and just this once...
Give me pain!
Convert Me, Hurt Me
Slap Me, Beat Me
Hit Me, Cut Me
Rape Me, Baby.
Die Die Die
Blade upon my wirst,
held by a hand,
not mine,
not your's,
but the hand of fate.
Is it right for me to die?
Hide everything in my mind,
so far back it won't come out,
not tonight!
***Some of the things from my notebook over the past few days. Some urges coming back and some questions being asked. But eh everything is the same.***
16:36 Apr 15 2006
Times Read: 870
Mommy
Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his
friends that it was cool, And
when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did
What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got
the gold!
But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said goodbye.
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go,
But Mommy please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun,
He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny,
Got the gun from his older brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy;
That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend;
That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister;
That she is the only now,
And tell my dear sweet Grandmother;
I'll be waiting for her now.
And tell my wonderful friends;
That they always were the best.
Mommy, I'm not the first,
I'm no better then the rest.
Mommy, tell my teachers;
I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this,
And please don't let this pass.
Mommy, why'd it have to be me?
No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others,
Mommy, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy, tell the doctors;
I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor,
Trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying,
With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy, please remember,
I'm in heaven with the rest.
Mommy, I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack,
Mommy, listen to me if you would, I'm not coming
back.
I wanted to go to college,
I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm
not going with Daddy;
On that trip to the new zoo.
I wanted to get married,
I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress,
Mommy, I wanted to live.
But Mommy, I must go now,
The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my boyfriend,
I'm sorry, but I had to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have,
I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I wanted to say is,
"Mommy, I love you"
This poem was given to my Grandmother from my uncle, who was in prison at the time, so I do not know who the author is or the title of it. But I liked it so here it is in my journal.
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