DiabolicMessiah's Journal
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6 entries this month
A Warrior's resurrection
23:36 Jun 30 2008
Times Read: 680
I have fought many battles,
I’ve sustained many wounds.
I have seen death and sorrow,
I have harmed and killed other men,
Fathers, sons and brothers.
I have watched many comrades fall
I’ve held them while they died.
Bloodied, scarred, and hard.
That is what they called me.
Empty, hollow, and dead.
That was what I felt.
A warrior, American made.
Nothing could touch me.
I was battle hardened.
Nothing could faze me.
A living statue.
No pain…
No fear…
No soul.
There was but one chink in my armor
I had hidden it well.
No one could find it. I thought myself invulnerable
Until I met you.
You found the opening I thought invisible.
You overran my defenses.
You exposed my weakness.
You found what I had lost.
My heart, my soul, my integrity.
All devoid of life.
I was at your mercy.
In tears, I watched you
breath life back into what was dead.
You gave me so much
And ask for so little.
Until I met you,
I thought myself brave.
Until I met you,
I thought I was strong.
But, it is you who show me
What true bravery is.
You who show me true strength.
You who inspires me.
You who brought me to life.
My Valkyrie…
My goddess…
My heart and soul are yours eternally.
13:06 Jun 14 2008
Times Read: 710
That which appears to be full
may be empty
that which appears to hold strong
may be wrecked
Do not be decieved by the me
who I show you
his foundation is weak
and worn from neglect
A garden untended
will wither and die
A painting unfinshed
will fade over time
This heart that is not loved
cannot keep on beating
This heart that is loney
this vile heart of mine
~D.Messiah~
Nemesis02:18 Jun 12 2008
Times Read: 739
Holy FUCK ! I've battled some major Demons before, but this one seems to have me by the balls. The more I fight it the uglier it gets and if I surrender to it, it will kill me. This particular Demon drains all hope. It whispers words like,"unworthy","unloved", and "suicide". It neutralizes any kind word of encouragement by those close to me. It smothers out any cheer.
I thought I had this particular Demon pegged as "Dispair", but its much stonger than that. It attacks my self esteem, This Demon does physical harm, and will lash out at those I love. In situations that I should have no problem handling, it creates confusion. So far, no method has been able to stave off its potent attacks. Drugs just amplify its power over me, prayers fall on the ears of a deaf God, wise council ends up the advice of fools.
I now sit, looking down at the blade on the bathroom counter , an ache in my heart, and an excrutiating emptiness in my soul. "Who is it trying so hard to destroy me? Who is it that hates me so much?" I look up from from the blade and look at my reflection in the mirror.
It smiles back at me.
Life weary02:16 Jun 12 2008
Times Read: 741
I'm so tired of fighting to keep my head above water. My entire being aches from the stuggle. how nice it would be to just stop & let go.....no more fight.....no more pain......no more.....Ive had enough of the bullshit. They say the greater the trial in life, the bigger the reward! Keep your fucking reward! I don't fucking want it! I want the fucking trials to stop! That's where the punchline comes in. They don't stop. Life is the trial. That big reward...?
Death.
I'll take my reward now.
~D. Messiah~
A Sovereign Lament00:36 Jun 08 2008
Times Read: 764
Where are you my black queen?
Your king is lost without you.
I have fought an eternity to find you.
I have tamed the fires of hell
to gaze upon your beauty once more
I have carved my way
through the lands of shadow
that I may again
stand by your side
but, still...
your throne sits , empty...
still...I walk the night alone
without you...
there is no direction
without you...
there is no balance
no rest
I can rule the night no more
not without you
your voice is the music
that tames the beast within me
only in your eyes
can I see the reflection
of who I truly am
it is only throguh your temperance
that I can rule
with an even hand
It was only your complete supplication
your absolute devotion
your unconditional love
that I found my true purpose
to care for you
to protect you
to provide for you
to give you my complete devotion
as you...
so completely...
gave me yours
as it was
in that lifetime
so shall it be again
to you I make this vow
I shall find you
my love
no matter what I must do
no matter where I must travel
no matter what I must sacrifice
we shall be together once more
we shall, again
dance together to the music of the damned
we shall, again
swim together, naked, in the waters of Styx
we shall, again,
my bride, my love,
rule the land of the dead
forever
~D.Messiah~
Nature of the Beast20:19 Jun 06 2008
Times Read: 793
you come to me...
I can see the desire in your eyes
Eyes, blinded by infatuation
an adolescant fantasy
of eternal love
This is not the first time
many nights before
you have come to me
just like you come now
though, not physically the same
it has always been you
you...
seduced by the story you've created
allowing yourself to believe
that I am your dark prince
....or that I am your immortal hero
here to take you in his arms
and grant you that magical kiss
The kiss, granting you eternal life
that we may love each other
forever
these are but masks you've created for me
you put a new one on me each time come
all of them different
yet all of them the same
each one allowing me to lure you in
I take you in my arms
you cling to me so tightly
as though I might disappear
I caress your cheek
a give you a reasuring smile
"I'll never leave you" I say
I feel you relax
you open your self up to me
I whisper softly into your ear
words of love
I whisper words of desire
of the all consuming passion between us
you surrender yourself to me
thinking you know what is to come
the moment my fangs pierce your soft flesh
the pain is exquisit
it is all you dreamed it to be
but,..............my love,...
that moment is not long
and whan it passes
you find yourself unable to break free
that is when the cold reality
freezes your blood
your eyes clear
and you know......
this is no dark prince
that keeps you trapped in it's arms
this is no hero
that tears open your throat
with it's jagged teeth
no knight in shining armor
that gorges on your lifes blood
You are being held in the arms of a monster
a deadly predator
and you are it's prey
the mask you made for me
finally ripped away
reveals to you what i truly am
A FIEND!
A BEAST!
a creature who hunts your kind
to feast on their flesh
you try to struggle
you are too late
your strength ....is gone
your will....is gone
your life.....is gone
as I lower your lifeless corpse to the ground
I look into your still open eyes
eyes that once looked into mine
with complete adoration
now frozen in lifeless terror
I feel one solitary crimson tear
run down my flushed cheek
as I slip back into the shadows
" forgive me my love"
"that is my nature"
" it is a hunger I cannot control"
I take my leave
my madening thirst finally quenched
for now
but I know it shall return...
just as you
my love
shall also return
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