The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

to tell ya what a dumb ass i am..... i was in a hurry to get down the stiars , the phone was ringing , and god forbid i should just let it go. so at the bottom of the stiars is a baby gate to keep the boy from climbing the stiars... well i got my foot caught and sprained my knee. not before falling backwards on my bott with the baby gat still tangled in my legs ... so much for starting out a good day lmao

i can udnerstand what you are going throu







Can ya really , cause i feel so rubbed raw that i want to lash out at everyone and push them all away with my harsh and angry hurtful words , even though its not thier fault!!!

sorry this is all chopped to hell. was a conversation with good friend of mine, i removed the screen names for the sake of privacy.So there is no sence of grammar at all, please be patient with it







well in the next three weeks im going down to medina county court house and paying the 250 and filing my papers

i just feel too beat down to deal with it anymore

for the last 4 days he has come to me and said im sorry for being such a asshole



and i think to myself

damn am i really that used to being treated like shit that i hadnt noticed

cause in all honesty i didnt notice anything different about him



he was being his passive agressive asshole /martyr self



im just not up for the fight or headache anymore

got too much else going on in my head



so im gonna file them, wait til they come back in the mail, go to the mailboxes ect have copies made and hand him a set and say here .. this is it man.. change your mailing adress on everything you have and find a new place to crash

go to your parents what ever , come here watch the kids we can help each other out, but i dont want you living with me anymore

my kids both have dresser drawers on thier beds, so.... i can have my dressers back... and call it even

he can sleep here on certain nights now and then

but not in my bed

he can have the air matress and stay in joeys room

ill sign the buick over to him

and we can still split the bills til i get financial help from the county,i hate doing it but until i finish school will have to do,

then ill file for child support

then he can be on his merry way

Ok,

I put in 36 hrs a week @ work, another 36 @ school. doesnt leave much time for anything fun, not to mention being the complusive freak i am about cleaning my house, cooking and baking that i like to do.. anyway......



I had the soon to be Ex-husband come by and "help" with kids, and house stuff... so you may ask where im going with this .. well ill get there trust me.



So this morning i woke up round 730, had very few moments of quiet to myself b4 my daughter came down, then my son woke up, got them all dressed and fed. went up stripped thier beds, put on clean sheets and blankies, ect. (no help yet)



from thier i proceeded to do about 5 loads of wash, put them away, go thru all the kids clothes, get rid of what doesnt fit, or was winter wears, (no help still) Also did the same with mine. sheets and blankies also went to laundry. ARE YOU SEEING WHERE MY HELP IS AT YET??? hmmmmmmmmmmm



neither do i.... I finally got showered and dressed and had to make the kids and him lunch(no i still havent gotten a chance to eatyet, unless you count a pot of coffee as breakfast)



Then proceeded to wash the dishes that were left from yesterday as well as todays dishes. Picked up all the toys and kids crap up off the floors and back into the toy box. Yet i must not forget thati took out the trash.. feels like i should go to bed now, and its just now noon.



while i let the kids eat, he ran off to help him mummy and daddy move a washer and dryer. Glad he will actually lift a finger for them, geesh!!!!!!!!!



I still have to start going thru 2 more chapters of anatomy and physiology for this evenings 7 hr class, and chap. 1&2 for nursing fundementals for tomorrow 7 hr class...



Id get more help from a knotty 2x4!!!! sometimes if i am ever gonna make it thru nursing school... or am i gonna be the patient in the pysch ward they do clinicals on!!





I think the prickbastardmotherfucker is just looking to take up stay and annoy me till i break..

im finding within my self and in my career pain brings out the worst in people.. the ugly, nasty,hateful... depending on the person.



for me , i am intolerant, grumpy and have a sick sense of humor... said to co worker today... " OH your removing mrs.so and so's staples.. thats gonna hurt. Can i watch?" which so did not come out the right way. Since im in nursing school i tend to want to see and learn anything i can.. .. what a day.



Most people tend to revert and try to be quiet and sleep through there pain.... Some are just real motherfuckers. I always get those time consuming,needy bastards that dont really need to suck the life out of me , when i could be caring for someone who is alone, has no family, and is really in pain or dying... some times i really hate people.. selfish people to be exact!!



I hate drama kings and queens, people that think because i come in and ask them if they need anything, they think im fucking house keeping or a damn waitress.. no i am a fucking nurse you idiot.... do you really want me to wipe your ass, bring you lunch and then pass pain meds... hello!!! you fool... ok not that i dont wash my hands like a billion times a day but it was meant to create a image of "eww" in ones mind if your reading this.



Ok enough of my ranting , as one can tell it was a very trying day. But joy of joys i get to do it all over again tomorrow, thank goodness our census is down to 8.