Its another year of the same old shit. I quit drinking last night after way too much shots of Patron, Don Julio, and Jager. Staggered back to my car, and drove through a snow storm to my house. At 4:30 am, I got a cqall tha my grandma had died, I was expecting this, but I'm still numb from the whole thing. Now for the rest of my life, I'm going to think that I was drunk, when my grandmother died. At least I got a chance to say Goodbye.
Lavey teaches that Life is the great indulgence, and death the great abstinence. Other than alcohol and food, my life has been one of abstinence. Absence of friendship, of love, of sex. When will be my time to indulge, to sink my teeth into life and rip its throat out. To drink and bathe in its blood. I feel I'm owed this. That sometime in the future a switch will be flipped, and all of the sudden my dreams will come true. We can all hope, can't we?
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