DestroyingAngel's Vampire Journal

DestroyingAngel's Journal

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5 entries this month

← Feb 2011

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08:28 Mar 19 2011
Times Read: 609

That's great.

Now what?

Something else? Something else that doesn't make any sense?

The fact that im hating again. Breathing it. Letting it be with my soul a little more every day.

Letting it be in my heart and not just in my mind.

Something I swore I'd never do again. The years it took to not be so damn angry. Years that it didn't pay.

I can't afford to be this hurt. This angry. This pissed.

I can't.

I won't.

I refuse.

Im not that person anymore...for some reason that's still very unclear to me.

Actually...

It's perfectly clear to me.

But I am going to make sure that im even tempered when the explosion happens between us.

And it IS going to happen.

COMMENTS

09:35 Mar 11 2011
Times Read: 634

I can't sleep again.

Im upset. So very sad and with it...anxiety. Bad dreams and feelings. I can't quite explain why...and all I know is that it hurts. It bothers me.

Worried. So very worried.

My eyes hurt. They're swollen from crying.

That stupid lump in my throat is making it hard to breathe. The tears are stinging my eyes.

I don't want to be hurt. Scared to death of it.

I wish I could turn off the worry. The painful feelings. All this sadness. The overwhelming emptiness. I wish I could pull those covers up to my chest and feel comfort again. To feel warm and safe.

I wish that somehow I could turn off this sadness, this frustration, this pain and know that it's going to be alright. Somehow. Some way. In the meantime, I will go back to bed and try to sleep.

I wish for good sleep again.

Mostly, I just wish for a hug.

So very much.

COMMENTS

captainglobehead
14:53 Mar 11 2011

*hug*

Talk to me. Tell me about your dreams. Tell me what's wrong.

*hug*

Arkanisca818
18:49 Mar 12 2011

Message me whats up ?

07:23 Mar 09 2011
Times Read: 647

Im up and awake. Feeling very down. Feeling very annoyed with somebody.

Im very angry and hurt and I will act as if it doesn't bother me at all. Upset and tired. Im so fucking confused.

I need sleep. Rest. Peace.

Tell myself that it's gonna be okay. Somehow.

COMMENTS

07:28 Mar 05 2011
Times Read: 665

I haven't had much sleep in the past three days and im feeling terribly run down.

Im very upset and sad right now. I feel lost. Hopeless. Alone. Im wondering if anything I have done matters. Anything at all. Im wondering why it hurts so much in my heart. In my body and in my soul.

I am wondering what the hell I did wrong now.

I thought I was through with crying tonight........................................................

I thought wrong.

COMMENTS

captainglobehead
23:35 Mar 05 2011

*hug*