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So, I used to have protection stamps waaaaaay back. I guess after all my photo accounts got hacked by my bitch of a psycho ex I just never redid them.



Do any of you even want my protection stamps? I am now on 205 members friends list, I assume SOME of you would like to brag how we are pals ;P



if so, comment here to request one or message me and if you are special I will even make you a personalized one ^_^

COMMENTS

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captainglobehead
17:50 Oct 02 2012

I would like one of your stamps.



I AM special, but probably not in a good way, so I don't warrant a personalized one.

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Feeling pretty lonely these days.. and no this is NOT a post phishing for pity and attention, this is a journal right? I mean hardly anyone even reads this crap, so why did I even feel the need to provide that disclaimer? I don't know I am fucking paranoid like that...so sue me!



anyway back to my pathetic sob story....argh I just feel sad and angry all the time..why? i dont know life sucks...I have a sick dog that won't get better, I have a wedding I am planning for that is just driving me crazy with family making it crazier, I have a low supply of friends..well friends that have time for me to talk to them on a daily basis anyway...Apparantly everyone has such awesome busy lives that I just don't fit into anymore....



iono sometimes I feel as tho I am the only one who considers people friends and they just look at me as an aquaintance..or maybe I am just too needy? or have too high of a standard of friendship?

I don't know..I am just used to being able to talk to people all the time, hang out, have fun do interesting things...



My fun this weekend consists of attending a 2 year olds birthday party on Saturday and a 3 year olds birthday party on sunday...shoot me NOW please...



wtf



I have all this pent up rage and sadness and frustration and just noone around who gives enough fuck about me to ask me how I am doing and aACTUALLY mean it..everyone wants to hear "I am fine and you?" Granted I am sure most of the problem comes from me not being the type of person to ask for help which is because I feel embarassed I need help in the first place.



#1 I have a Spartan mentality where crying is weak and only strong survive

while at the same time

#2. I suffer from this anxiety demon constantly telling me I am worthless and no one cares about my meaningless problems that I cause myself in the first place....



yepp that's me, a worthless pile of nothing...then people will say, "Oh don't think that way you are worth everything and your so special and blah blah blah" well if that's true then why do I have no one to hang out with or have my phone going off with people caring whether I have offed myself yet?



The whole generic opening greeting of How are you? means nothing to me. Everyone HAS to say it...



I need a Patrick to my Spongebob





and YES I have a husband to be that I love dearly but my entire life does not revolve around him, we do have separate lives and friends..Relationships cannot be healthy and survive when one is highly dependant on the other....that much I do know

So I started a line of Star Trek Captains Tea Blends with Adagio.



If you are a nerd like me or just REALLY enjoy tea and want to be special owning an awesome delicious blend created by MOI here ya go..click the picture:

Well, if you ever pop over into my profile you will see that I updated it last week. You will also have noticed that I am engaged to be married next April. That's really the biggest update..Just been wedding planning and working to pay for the wedding in-between trying to keep sane :)