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Though you have pushed me over edge

I can’t deny I still miss you from time to time

I know I come off more powerful than others

Every once & awhile my love for you still shines



Confused, sad, angered, depressed

Weight constantly shifting

Emotions in every which direction

Twelve self inflicted scars on my leg bookmark time



Like an uneven melody my mood changes

I’ve been tough and unfair to you

Now my soul cries, my heart is full of pain

Cause I don’t know which conscience to trust



Do I stay & try to repair my damage, knowing my explosive nature

Shall I apologize, or will I cry

You were the one who loved me most

Now you are in my mind, out of my life



This pen begins to create art again

My soul shall sing upon paper again

I become eccentric, heavy & powerful

This is creation at its greatest



In my shoes I learn not to trust again

My heart paints itself mosaic

Invincible again, I’m just that stone again with carvings of history

Another spin back to a reclusive, maturity



Rewind five months ago

Lea Ann was alive

A loving mother

John at my side



Now an empty home

My hero has fallen

I’m with out a mother

And left to bleed by my most trusted



You may have been told by others I was immature

If you could see me now away from relationships

Give me about two weeks ill be like a slab or thick steal, cold and unbendable

On a good mood you made me happy and immature again





So many times you comforted me

Yet Ill throw a punch at you

Like a rabid dog, Ill snap on anyone

I warned you, & you stuck, now you suffer



Split personality insane in every way

You say it would be entertaining, and always interesting

Happy and loving I’m unbelievable

Angered and Depressed I’m deadly untouchable



So we found I’m not heartless after all

This is not my last stand

Only a way of venting, and falling back to order

Ill never be lonely for my mind keeps me busy





© ~ Demented Vamp~