Though you have pushed me over edge
I can’t deny I still miss you from time to time
I know I come off more powerful than others
Every once & awhile my love for you still shines
Confused, sad, angered, depressed
Weight constantly shifting
Emotions in every which direction
Twelve self inflicted scars on my leg bookmark time
Like an uneven melody my mood changes
I’ve been tough and unfair to you
Now my soul cries, my heart is full of pain
Cause I don’t know which conscience to trust
Do I stay & try to repair my damage, knowing my explosive nature
Shall I apologize, or will I cry
You were the one who loved me most
Now you are in my mind, out of my life
This pen begins to create art again
My soul shall sing upon paper again
I become eccentric, heavy & powerful
This is creation at its greatest
In my shoes I learn not to trust again
My heart paints itself mosaic
Invincible again, I’m just that stone again with carvings of history
Another spin back to a reclusive, maturity
Rewind five months ago
Lea Ann was alive
A loving mother
John at my side
Now an empty home
My hero has fallen
I’m with out a mother
And left to bleed by my most trusted
You may have been told by others I was immature
If you could see me now away from relationships
Give me about two weeks ill be like a slab or thick steal, cold and unbendable
On a good mood you made me happy and immature again
So many times you comforted me
Yet Ill throw a punch at you
Like a rabid dog, Ill snap on anyone
I warned you, & you stuck, now you suffer
Split personality insane in every way
You say it would be entertaining, and always interesting
Happy and loving I’m unbelievable
Angered and Depressed I’m deadly untouchable
So we found I’m not heartless after all
This is not my last stand
Only a way of venting, and falling back to order
Ill never be lonely for my mind keeps me busy
© ~ Demented Vamp~
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