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Im pissed, I am so very very pissed. I could scream and kill right now I am so fucking ticked off. This is absolute bullshit people. Oh yes, Im done, this is it. The dark side is fully out. So take cover because this bomb will explode

Ok now there are some people that think it's unattractive for a female to get some...pleasure out of getting revenge. And I dont care. Sweet sweet revenge. The taste is almost as satisfying as blood. Besides I have friends that think when my dark side comes out that it makes me hot. Lol. I know what I want...I want to hear a person cry and their soul bleed. And yes there are times when I drag people that have nothing to really do with it but are linked to that person down as well. It makes me feel powerful and turns me on. I care not for those that think that I crazy or hurtful or whatever. I am those things people. But I only get that way when I get hurt. So simply put, dont hurt me or dont let anyone you know hurt me because the devil is a woman and you are looking at her. Fuck with me....I dare you.

I am so tired. It's raining and Im out job hunting. Bleah, I wish I was cuddled with the man I love in a nice and warm bed. My muscles ache and my head is pounding. I know he's gonna worry, even though I keep telling him that I am ok. And I guess even though I keep telling myself that I am fine....Im not. Im stressed out, abused, annoyed, scared so many emotions, so much stress and it's building up and people wonder why I can be so evil. I need space, not everybody breathing down my back, screaming at me, threatening me. I wish and hope for better days, but they only seem to be getting worse. I know I have to take responsibility for the things I do but I am NOT taking the fall for anyone else. "What are you crying for?? You are the oldest." WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN???? Me being older has nothing to do with the sorrow and pain I feel when your words cut through me and tear me down. Do you really believe that the things you do to me have no affect on me at all. Just because I project that I can handle this without always breaking down doesnt mean that in my head i am thinking of ways to destroy you. In my head I am always screaming for help, no one hears those cries though cause no one sees the truth. Everyone sees what they want to see. And that is fucked up. Coughing up blood, crying in the dark, suicidal, homicidal thoughts. If you hate me so much you shouldnt have had me. You grow the fuck up and deal with the reality. Because you will always be my mother and I will always hate you...