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Its 2, 3, or maybe 4.

Its too late now, I'm out the door.

And if you wanted me here,

You should've gave more.

I was willing to try.

But you just let us die.

Your room is spinning fast.

Good thing I'm out the door.



Shaken to the foundation

Rattled to the very core

Your angst and apathetic values

Have set the stage for war

But consider this battle conceded

I walked right out the door

Don't bother to wait up for me

I'll be gone for days, maybe more

How bad do you miss me

Now that I've walked out the door?



It appears a tornado swept through this house

And left you hanging by your neck

My return, a bit delayed, leads me to find...

You've done yourself in, lost your mind

My very own belt...

Connecting you to the closet shelf

I should've seen before I left...

I knew you needed help

I assisted you with suicide...

The moment I walked out the door.



I sit silently with my head in my hands

Where are you, where have you gone

I don't understand

Its been 2, 3, maybe 4...

The days pass slowly

As I miss you more and more...

Sitting silently beside you in the spinning room

With my head in my hands, I'll never leave you again

I won't walk out the door...



I won't leave you again...

COMMENTS

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Emily
08:42 Jul 24 2009

oohh mee like... not the suicide and hurting part :'( made me feel kinda depressed, otherwise i liked it ^.^

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aidenpaige
07:34 Jul 31 2009

freakin awesome!!!

I loved it.

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KMD
01:59 Aug 03 2009

Wow.

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I'll make this really simple for you...



I'm sick of all these lies

and I'm sick of dodging knives

How am I supposed to live my life

if you won't let me be alive?

Save me a bit of my own pride

as you brutalize me inside



Please and thank you

Taken to the heart

All the time I put into you...

I suddenly don't feel very smart

I could've left it all behind for you

But you would never play your part



Diseased, I rank you...

With the highest of remarks

All the things you said you'd do...

Were what set you apart

And I honestly believed you

And suddenly I don't feel very smart



So, please and thank you

Just do it, tear me apart

Do what you wanna do

Like you did with my heart

I believed what I wanted...

I should've known from the start



Please and thank you

I don't feel very smart

COMMENTS

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rlugo718
15:41 Jul 20 2009

love it, very cool

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Isis101
19:53 Jul 20 2009

Hmmm..this could have been my mantra about 4 years ago.

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Lolita
03:17 Jul 30 2009

I just relived my entire seperation in divorce by reading one journal entry... Well written as always hon :)

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aidenpaige
07:48 Jul 31 2009

thank you for writing this its amazing it kinda reminds me of someone I knew and would like to kill lol

your an amazing writer.

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Somebody dies.



Your world will change

right before your eyes

Just like mine.

It turns to ice.

And there's no one to...

blame



This is what happens

when a warrior

turns his back on the war.

The war that you created.

The one that drove us...

insane



Our world is always changing

Torn apart and sewn back up

Just like our hearts

Just like our soldiers

Playing their parts...



Just like our hearts

Just like the soldier, giving all they've got

So what happens

when a warrior

turns their back on a war?



Everybody dies.

COMMENTS

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Isis101
19:54 Jul 20 2009

Strong!

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*its meant entirely to be a song, so if the timing and flow and rhythm and stuff is off, its because its not performed with music yet...sorry*





I've already dug your grave

Shallow hole for your shallow heart

Six feet deep is too much work

And so much more than you deserve

Set you down beneath the dirt

A single layer to cover the hurt



Excuse me while I take this knife from out of my back

As I hold it in my hand, close your eyes, this won't hurt a bit



UGH, this whole situation hurts

Smearing my feelings in the dirt

I suppose though, this is what I deserve

I don't know why I even bother with my work...

I can't withstand too many more attacks on my heart

Maybe I should just go lay down in my grave...



I've already dug your grave

But it'll always be empty

Because despite everything...

I want you standing next to me...

COMMENTS

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PandorasBx
04:48 Jul 16 2009

Sadness :(((

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Isis101
05:20 Jul 16 2009

After reading a lot of your work here,Ii think that you should seriously consider selling some of the songs!

You are a gifted writer!

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I hate that I can't hate you

But I'm determined to escape you

I wish you'd disappear, but I can't make you

And in my dreams, I'm still willing to take you

Away from this place



So destroy your reverie, don't waste my time

Everything we had, was based on a lie

I hate that I love you, in my confused mind

Star-crossed, dual supernovas, one of a kind

Burned out over night



I hate that I can't hate you

I feel sick inside

I hate that I love you

I think I'd rather die

Than walk away from you

But its gone too far this time

I'd love to say goodnight

But I'd hate to say goodbye

Doesn't it just fucking suck to not know where you're going?

I wish I was alive

I wish I was a lie

Doesn't it just fucking suck to know exactly where you're going,

When you know you're destined to die

Alone



The path I walk is plagued with nothingness

Exactly what I fear

I crumble beneath the weight of my singular existence

Born into a life of sealed fate

I wish I was alive

I wish I was a lie

Knowing I'm meant to die

Alone



The roads are dim, lined with broken streetlights

I can't see where I'm going, and I don't know where I've been

Time is of no essence to me, I don't even know today's date

It always dark here, so I don't even know if its late

I walk aimlessly for miles, I can't bear to stand and wait



Born into a life of sealed fate

My singular existence, I crumble beneath the weight

I wish I was alive

I'm in my own way

I was I was a lie

I despise the hate

I was born into a life of sealed fate

Knowing I'm meant to die

Alone

COMMENTS

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Passionforblood
13:05 Jul 12 2009

I like it !!

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I wave a solemn goodbye to the city's burning skyline

Escape to solace stung with bits of regret as I leave it far behind

It wasn't meant to be my home for an eternity

Otherwise, it wouldn't have done these things to me

I blame that town for all that I've gone through

But I only got myself into the things that I wanted to

A mixture of emotions that I can't seem to understand

Why am I running from it, yet reaching for it with an outstretched hand?

Its disappearing in the distance, I'm getting further away

Will I arise content, or feel displaced the next day?

Right as I feel I've made up my mind to move on

I suddenly feel the irresistible urge to stay

Confusion is crushing when it hits you all at once

Am I making the right choice, are my assumptions just?

I've turned my back on all that I know, the question now, is:

How far can I go?

A million miles, I'll never stop my run

All the way around the world

Run so far, only to end up right back where I'd begun

On...your...KNEES!



I can only dare you to even try to lift your eyes

In this kingdom, you are adamantly despised

On your knees, you worthless waste of air

I give you no choice but to bow down



Bow down

(On your knees)

Bow down



I am the higher power, you are a slave

No matter the passing of days, this will not change

So save us some time, and just bow down



On your knees

(Bow down)

On your knees



Listen



Your best bet is to do what you're told

Bending my patience, don't try to be bold

I'll break you until you're bending to bow down

And I'll laugh at you, with everyone around



You worthless waste of air, bow down



Listen

Unspoken words lead to shattered dreams.

It doesn't matter what you say to me,

I ruin everything.

Watching all we had, collapse at your feet.

It doesn't matter what I want to see,

my eyes will bleed.

And I know now you're impossible to please



I gave you my heart, hoping you'd be better to it than my past.

I should've known, look at my luck, things this good never last.

This realization is driving me down, its destroying me fast.

This is so typical me, being stepped on after giving all I have.

It was like the sun shined in the shape of her smile.

All I wanted to do, was try and make it last...

Awhile.

I was willing to try for forever.

But those hope and dreams have been effectively severed.



It doesn't matter what you say to me,

I ruin everything.

It doesn't matter what you think of me,

I don't believe anything.

Please just hold your tongue just this once,

Your opinion still stings.

You're just impossible to please.

You're impossible, and impossible to please.

And, God, I ruin everything.

COMMENTS

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Leinth
09:14 Jul 12 2009

Very raw.. **sits on bed and cries**



vv well written.

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Kryptick
15:28 Jul 12 2009

Oh God...the other person that commented is so right...I started to tear up at "This is so typical me, being stepped on after giving all I have."...

and my vision blurred with tears at "All I wanted to do, was try and make it last...

Awhile."



and I managed to make it through without crying, but I almost lost it at:

"I don't believe anything.

Please just hold your tongue just this once,

Your opinion still stings."



but...damn, this is good, despite how sad it is...

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I've built bridges over the rivers of your problems..

Only for them to be washed away, by the tide

They've been broken down, they're useless now

A single plank ripped away, with each and every lie

And I have no desire to rebuild it this time



You've gone to the well one too many times

I've tried and tried to guide you through your life

My patience with you is very rapidly running out

Your next attempt, you should expect it to be dry

And I have no desire to refill it this time



You're like a ship sinking in a distant ocean

With thousands of helpless passengers inside

All knowing that the boat is about to go down

Wondering if someone will save them, or if they'll die

And I have no desire to rescue you this time

COMMENTS

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KinkyLilVamp
20:02 Jul 09 2009

it seems like this poem has many meaning in it.

i like it.

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Look at yourself, put down the pills, and that fucking knife

Whether or not you care, I'm here to save your life



I've spent so much time reading from this book of lies

Authored by you, discreetly titled "My Disguise"

Allow me to tear out pages, rewrite the ending

I'm only doing this to save you from your demise



Your end is starting to look like a beginning

Reverting back to your old ways, the good things

You see now, how close you were to dying?

Its time you buried this alive

Don't just bury it inside

Bury it alive

(And let the positivity rise!)



I've spent so much time reading this book of your rise

Rewritten by you, a reparation of your life

I'll hold it close, for safe keeping

We finally saved you from your early demise

COMMENTS

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Isis101
00:24 Jul 09 2009

Nice...strong.

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Kryptick
02:40 Jul 09 2009

Fuck yeah, Stephen! This is awesome, unlike what you normally write and I like that. Very positive, optimistic, with a happy ending. I like how YOU didn't cause the change but rather you were there through it all. You didn't edit the person's story, you read it, gave a review and were there as they rewrote it.



Maybe I took that example a bit too far, but you get the point. I love it :)

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Look at your life, what have you done to yourself?

You're bending the bracket that holds you in place

You're breaking the mask thats been hiding your face

Your intentions are becoming more and more clear

You're inching closer to all that you fear

Your most memorable nights are the ones you forget

The drugs, the alcohol, its pulling you in

Do you really think you can escape it?



Does it frighten you, not knowing where you're going?

Does it scare you, not knowing what your mask is showing?

Its collapsing, to reveal the scars

Its breaking, showing who you really are

Its falling away, and its driving you insane



You reach out for me

I'm not there

How does that feel?

I've looked out for you

You don't care

This one, time won't heal...



You're down to dust, you're lacking...

Essential function. Your mask is cracking

The drugs, the alcohol, it pulled you in

I don't care

This one, time won't heal...

How does that feel?

COMMENTS

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Isis101
00:26 Jul 09 2009

When will folks realize that the only place they can go when taking drugs is a downward spiral? The so-called fun and games won't last...

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You've driven yourself to this mechanical affliction

Greatly losing traction on all sense of reality

Torn apart by your own altruistic addiction

Empathy bleeds from the hearts of machines



Losing grip on a real life distinction

Quickly losing sense of time, and all self

You're classified by your own emotional extinction

A life of volunteer servitude, living for everyone else



A transformation of soul and self

Bending to their every want and need

You've become society's soulless whelp

Empathy bleeds from the hearts of machines



You're almost robotic in reasoning

A constant blur of red is all you see

In and out of consciousness, with sanity slipping

Empathy bleeds from the hearts of machines

COMMENTS

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Isis101
00:27 Jul 09 2009

Whoa! This is rather deep!

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ANAKsuNAMUN
07:56 Jul 28 2009

Yea, "whoa" is right... I can really relate with this one,

on a personal level... well, for the most part.



Pretty scary.



Damn, you are good... I just never thought this good.

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