I don't know what was worse
The fall for you
Or the fall from you
I feel lucky to have survived this curse
Even though I've been living
Like I don't know what to do
Time and time again
I felt myself holding onto you
Now I found myself hating...
Every moment you put me through
/*INCOMPLETE*/
You curse me now, as I lie in the dirt
Stripping away
Ripping away, like a hurricane
I won't deny it, you know that this hurts
I wish I would've gotten away
Escaped, before this storm came
You're hurting me
Might as well be burning me...
Alive
And my only hope now
Is that I can last out
Until this storm subsides
You curse me now, as I lie in the dirt
Stripping away
Ripping away, like a hurricane
I won't deny it, you know that this hurts
I wish I would've gotten away
Escaped, before this storm came
I try to run
But you've got me cornered at every turn
There's no place to hide
No place under the sun
It turns to night as my soul starts to burn
And back to day, just in time...
To find out I died
COMMENTS
This is so sad
Damn...another good one!
although there is a lack of rhythm, this one doesn't need the order. Seems hectic. Frantic, scared, upset...disorganized emotions...
Subliminally charged
I write with a spark
A spur of inspiration
Marked at the beginning of the task at hand
One simple sentence, even a word
Can draw out some of the most amazing things
Anyone on this earth has ever heard
I write from my heart, not with my head
Censorship, practicality, mainstream my work?
I'd rather be dead
So if you wanna look away
It'd be best to turn your head...
If you're interested in learning a bit about my soul
Then venture forth, for there is so much to be read
When you look at the sky
Does it hurt your eyes?
Do you feel your lies
Creeping up from inside?
I hope you never have the chance to
Ruin another life
After you've already been handy enough
To completely ruin mine
I feel a need to forewarn this world
If you'd like your sanity intact
Stay away from this girl
When you look at the ground
Do you hear a sound?
Does it make your mind
Grind and pound?
I hope you know thats where you're headed
Deep down below
Where the valley of the dead is
When you look up
It hurts, thats not where you belong
When you look down
You know, Hell will be your swan song
I hope you never have the chance to
Ruin another life
After you've already been handy enough
To completely ruin mine
I feel a need to forewarn this world
If you'd like your sanity intact
Stay away from this girl
So where will you go from here, my dear?
I think you know truth
I know your fury all too well
Which is reason enough for me to say...
Sweetheart...haha...
You're headed straight for hell
COMMENTS
I actually like this poem^^
however, you don't keep a line pattern with your stanzas, let's point that out. they vary a bit much.
The syllables in each line is a bit long, drawing it out, or maybe that's the way you wanted it? to bring suspense?
Rhyme ain't too bad and the last stanza almost made me shiver lol
very lovely overall in meaning and voice
Lol ah... No offence, but who gives a fuck?
Step-hen does good work. His LYRICS are from the heart and that's all that really matters :)
Walk in a straight line
Until you find me
I'm ready and willing
To leave my past behind me
So if you're able
Just take my hand
And help set me free
I've looked so hard and long
For a place I can belong
And laying in your arms
Sounds so very inviting
So if you find me now
I will finally be happy
Fate will play its role
I know you're my only one, so...
Walk in a straight line
Until you find me
I'm ready and willing
To leave my past behind me
So if you're able
Just take my hand
And help set me free
You've finally found me now
I'm finally with you now
I'm gonna hold you, and never let go
I'm not so hateful now
I feel so grateful now
And nothing will change that
I know you're always close
I'll never take my old life back
We're in love
And its best if the world knows
COMMENTS
it has no consistent rhythm ((sorry if I nag too much about this, people under the taurus sign kinda like rhythm I think^^;;))
However, very lovely, voice and meaning seem very touching and tranquil.
How long will it take you
To realize the lies you've been living?
How long will you wait
To take the task you've been given?
Survive tonight
And find your reason for living
It follows you, out your front door
It urges you on
When you can't handle anymore
Its there for you
Something you've never felt before
You're in love
And its turning you around
How long will it take you
To realize the lies you've been living?
How long will you wait
To take the task you've been given?
Survive tonight
And find your reason for living
Its saving you
Giving you the chance to feel more
Its amazing you
With it undeniable force
Something you've never felt before
You're in love
And its turning you around
Give in to it
Let it surround you
Its ok to feel like
There is no one else around you
As long as I'm here by your side
For the rest of your life
You're in love and its turning you around
COMMENTS
This needs to be a sng for sure, this is amazing!!
I agree...set this to music now!
Feeling lost
Abandoned
Discarded by the ones you love
Life just keeps going, and going
Always in circles
And there is no one else around
You're not strapped in
But you don't want to get off
You chose this ride
To make the pain and hurting stop
For yourself, and those around you
You chose the One-Horse Carousel
The one with no end
The One-Horse Carousel
Feeling lost
Abandoned
Discarded by the ones you love
Life just keeps going, and going
Always in circles
And there is no one else around
You've given yourself up
For those around you
You made sure
That no one found you
Eternally you shall stay
On your One-Horse Carousel
'Round and 'round
All alone
On your One-Horse Carousel
COMMENTS
This has a gret meaning behind it, you are great. Cut yourself some slack.
This is nice...
Lovely ^_^
COMMENTS
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TamaKit123
22:09 Jan 20 2009
ouch....
beautifulmistake
12:22 Jan 21 2009
beautiful and sad......nice! BM