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It is my opinion that my enemy wishes for my total destruction.

My enemy has already diminished me.

My enemy is more than one.

They have wrecked havoc with my Past, present, and my future.



They have drained my future. I have no future since they crused my past, limited my present

and removed from the balance my future.

I am nothing.

I seem to be taking this very hard because I started with nothing. I was 19 years old 13 years ago with zero then I was able to save up for a Motorcycle for transportation. I went to work everyday rain, storm I rode that motorcycle to work everyday no matter what the conditions. Thereafter I built my life and worked hard for it, piece by piece I built it and my enemy came and just washed it away.

What I feel is Horror. I can not explain it any other way except it is compete horror. The Horror/Pain that I feel is beyond speculation.



Darkpire

Went over to work on my house today and there was a For Sale by owner sign posted on the house. Somebody Nailed a sign on my house and wrote for sale by owner on it. I got really mad. The even put there phone number on it. So being an ex-con I figured I better not fool with the people so I called the authorities to report it. Once again all I got was a piece of paper from them saying if anything else happens call them. With the officers badge number and name on it.

I posted a picture of the front of the house Tomorrow I am going to do some more work on it. That's about it for now.

Went to a court hearing for my bankruptcy.

Now I know I have no one that has my back out of all the people I told that I was going to court asking for some moral support. guess what?

I was in court by myself trying to fight the system with no one behind me.. The fact of the matter is. I came in this world by myself, I will handle this world the best I can by myself and finally FUCK everyone..

F this and F that.

I goto find some friends who are into what I am into. Friends in the Tampa Florida area that I can hook up with and do things with.

Since I got back I have met a few people but most are not the kind I wanna hang out with. So there is no click.

I am looking for someone who is into the Music I listen too (Death Metal)

Into Vampires

Into Night/darkness



Now my goal is to find places I can goto to meet similar interests people like me.



My new task is to put my self in place to meet these people.

It is a funny thing, when you get used to working, living good, having things, enjoying life; then suddenly its all taken away from you, as you try to move forward it seems like there is nothing but stop everywhere. Your life becomes a big SLOW MOTION.



IT SUCKS.

Sometimes I just wish I could be reincarnated like right NOW

things are going horrible for me. I feel like all that has happened all that I have lost is a recurring nightmare, Horrific day dream, I wish not onto any of my friends here or anyone who is a member here to go through something similar to what I am going through it is beyond speculation. It is what I call A MIND KILLER.



I don't need to watch a Horror movie. I only have to open my eyes and Think.

HELL ON EARTH. More like hell inside my head.



some say let it pass. Move on, I have done all that but the thoughts, Images, visions etc etc are still creaping into my thoughts.

those I trusted in my life flunked me badly the damage is overwhelming.



I try to think of this as a NEW Beginning..

but.......

FUCK THAT.

I started working on my house today,

I will post photo's soon. Its a wicked house. Built in early 1900's. A Victorian 2 story with very high pitch roof and about 3000 Square Foot under roof. I have a lot of work to do to it. I found some very interesting stuff today tons of books subject of the books was Serial Killers, Thrill Killers to Dracula to Wicca etc etc. I saved all the books.

There is 3 apartments downstairs and there were 5 apartments upstairs but I prevously gutted the upstairs and made it into one big area I may change it back into Apartments though or I may move up there Dunno yet still considering what to do. All I know is i'm going to work hard there every chance I get to get it Ready for renting, so I can get some income.

Thats it for now .

It has been 60 days since I was released from confinement. They have took everything from me. I was only down for 14 months that is nothing.

I am left with nothing. It is a Mind Killer.

My survival is dependent upon my inner strength of the beast that dwells within my being.

I now understand the true meaning of HATE, ANGER AND MISERY. I am constantly suffering. The suffering continues it goes on and on. It is the worse feeling imaginable to me. I had thoughts about this feeling in the past and it has come to reality. I am living a nightmare. The nightmare never ends.

I have no one to communicate with I am searching for someone who can relate to me someone who is down with my reality not this make beLIEve that the norms of society wanna me to become fuck them. I have not found it. I feel as though I am Trapped here stuck unable to become mobile. Before the Prison I had cars, house, condo, assets, money, rental properties, a career, a life, a sense of worth. What the govt did not take from me my ex-wife either wasted away, gave away or distroyed things that were all that I had. Things that were MINE.

Now I have nothing, No car=no transportation and none of the above except a house that the bank did not foreclose because it is a 1905 built victorian that is partly renovated and is a wreck needs lots of work (that's another story)



I have no Money I am a zero.

If only I can release the beast in me and be one with the dark everything will be ok... I am one with the dark but I am really ready for the next level.................