The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Have you ever had a day where you just don't want to be around anyone? Well it seems i have those days all the time lately. I try to be around someone but it don't take more then about five mins for me to just want to get away from them. I have someone i wish i could be around but thats not going to happen anytime soon cause they are too far away.



I feel like my life is going no where and everyone is just lying to me, sick of my job and all the baby bullshit. It feels like i am back in high school listening to everyone whine and bitch about other people but not have the guts to say it to that persons face. I want to be happy and for some reason it feels like i am going in the opposite direction lately.



I have my truck back so i am happy about that even though it has more work that needs to be done to it, so i am pretty sure i will be back to broke after all this. But on a good side it will be sitting on a rebuilt motor and tranny.



I got a call the other night from a close friend and someone i truly care for and love. This person was having trouble with the truck they had bought, they told me what was going on and i was sure i knew what the problem was . . . . but as some of you might know, telling someone how to fix something or check for something and actually being there to help is two totally different things.



So i did all i knew to do but the person i was helping was getting very upset and you know i can't blame them. You get a truck only to have it fuck up two days after you get it.



I have been there before i will tell you that, but as a sat there and really took in the fact that i could not really help this person . . . . . well i really felt so useless. And when it is someone you care about all you want to do is be there for that person and help them. And well that is not an option, not right now anyway.



It pisses me off it really does but like normal i am quite good at keeping how i feel to myself until i am alone out in the woods or something. Then and only then i will let all the hurt i feel out and just let it all go. Cry, scream as loud as i can, (and my brother says i have a hell of a set of lungs) and just let it all go.



I don't know what the hell is wrong with me anymore, i am so scared that in the end i am just going to be alone and unloved by the one person i want to love me so so much. I don't know what i am saying anymore, guess it is just a rant now.

COMMENTS

-

---

lizavetenchev
03:24 Mar 03 2008

How sad. I love you as a friend. Just remember that.

---

POST COMMENT