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i think i am starting to have a break down of things i have hidden from people or just kept to myself. I have friends i was in the service with me and it seems like you never hear from them even after all the promises that nothing would ever keep us from talking. I always feel so alone even with people right beside me, i am not sure what i am feeling anymore or how to take it. I heard from a friend the other day that my x wife is already making plans to marry the guy that she cheated on me with and the sad thing we are not even divorced yet. i feel like people are taking everything i have weather it be good or bad i don't really know anymore. i have a few people in my life i feel like i can turn you and yet even they never really talk to me anymore, i feel like the friends i make are nothing more but memory no matter how strong the bonds. I had a friend in my hometown that was my friend since i was in the first grade, we were always at each others house all the time, spent most of our time with each other hell even got into a bit of trouble together, and yet after i left he just stopped having anything to do with my family. He drives right by my mom and dads house to go see his dad, he didn't even let my parents me or anyone in my family when his kids were born. A 18 year friendship just thrown out the door, i have called him and we talk a little now and then but he never calls me back. I always have to call him, i feel like it is the same with everyone i meet and it hurts to know that knowing someone is just going to be pointless. I have very few, and by very few i mean five at most, people that i think would even care if they never heard from me again, to me that is just sad and it bothers me. I really only have one person in my life right now that has yet to leave my side, she has been there for me through every hardship i have had in the later parts of my life and she is still standing by me strong even though she is on the other side of the united states from me. I am happy to have and i love her very much, without her i am not really sure how long it would be until i lost my mind. I love you sweetheart.
I understand 100% what you mean. And I feel it really bad right now.
Not sure what words are going to say.
09:52 Aug 13 2008 Times Read: 752
Do you ever feel like you have just been forgotten? Feel like someone has just failed to let you in a secret? When your mind runs through all the things that it could be but yet nothing good comes up. Feel like maybe your hopes are there just be crushed in front you? i don't even know how i feel tonight but it feels like maybe i am missing out on some joke that no one wanted to tell me. Like a part of me is going missing and i can't seem to place where it went. The dark is always around me and yet i never look for a light, i don't know what i am saying, but it seems to come out and it may be in riddles. Ever wonder if your whole life has been a lie? A joke in the eyes someone else? What do we do when we don't even know who we are? funny how people can make you feel so wanted and then not all in the same breath. Being alone . . something we all have been at one point or another, but who will you give your all for? I am not sure i can answer my questions anymore. Where am i going with this? I don't even know anymore.
COMMENTS
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Kimberley
04:02 Aug 19 2008
This song makes my heart race :]]
SEXYbloodSUCKER
01:29 Aug 23 2008
who is that for because who ever it is she is lucky as hell to have a guy like you
EmeraldPhoenix
09:40 Aug 23 2008
Very Sweet! :) I'm sure you both love it! *leans on walker, rolls away*