I constant haunting of my past keeps coming back again. Just when I think it is gone it shows up again. It is a past I would like to get beyond but never foget because it makes me who I am today, but at the same time it is slowly killing me from the inside out it will eventually be my demise. Inner demons are they really that bad? I do not think so they remind us of how lucky we maybe but at the same time they kill us slowly. Even in dreams and this is a fear of mine that this inner demon will take me from everyone. PErhaps this is why I distance myself from people even though I shouldn't I do it anyways because I don't want them to get hurt anymore then I already am. At the same time I also wish I was already gone but I know thats not on the agenda yet or is it? the way things have been going latley I am lead to believe otherwise. I don't need anybody or do I, do they need me do I want them do they want me? or should I be happy and content with crashing by myself? Sometiems I think ti might be easier this way. This is my cursed shadow that I will take with me every where untill my dying day.
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