The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Some times I wonder, just how much it is a person is supposed to be able to take. You may read this and think to yourself, wow that sounds exactly like something i went through, or going through. If you are, i certainly hope that this gives you hope, at the very least comfort. To know that your not alone. Your not the only one.



I have honestly asked myself, how many times can I get kicked to the ground and still be able to get up and keep surviving. its not easy, I will tell you that. Perhaps I am more of a survivor than I thought. Perhaps I am just destined to be the one that gets all the bad breaks. I dont know, I wish I did.



What I can tell you is that I must be a survivor, because no matter what happens, no matter how hard I get kicked to the ground, I manage to pull myself up. I pick up the pieces and continue on. For now you will only know me by the name Racheal. Not that its important who I am. Its the story that I have to tell that is really important here, in the hope that someone may read it and benefit from it in some way. To think that my story may not help another in some way is heart breaking.



I dont tell this to cry about my hardships, nor to get sympathy or pity in any way. I want those of you reading this to realize that no matter what, you can find the strength to get up. To keep living. To get up every morning and breathe and be thankful that you can.



Please forgive me if my story jumps around. I will try to start from the beginning and continue to the end. But as the story goes on i may jump ahead or skip back.



Chapter 1



The story is this, simple really, girl meets boy, girl falls for boy. Boy gets girl, boy breaks girls heart. I know, I know, its the same thing over and over again. But it really does help to know thats how it all started, my path to failure, my downward spiral. So anyway, this guy I thought was great, fancied myself in love with him, boy was that an illusion. of course it wasnt until much later that I came to find out it wasnt love at all but the idea of being in love. Any way, we get married, still thought he was great, then after less than a year it all changed.

im not sure really now what changed but change it did.



He became rather rude in his comments to me, went out of his way to make me look and feel insignificant in front of his friends and family. Silly me thought having a baby would make things better. Boy, was I wrong with that idea. But have a chiild I did. a beautiful little boy. Thats when things went from bad to worse. I didnt ever really believe it when people told me that men can get very jealous of babies, even their own. But thats exactly what happened. He was worse than ever, the comments to me became more beligerant eventually became abusive.

Verbally that is. How i ever got the courage to leave is beyond me. But i did. I think the way he made me feel about myself is what lead me to make the choices i did in my life, and they went from bad to worse.



After he left, I spent time with myself and my son, I worked out, got in shape and looked really good. I felt llike i had gone through hell and back. Little did i know at the time that i wasnt as secure in myself as i thought. But

i guess that will all come out with the rest of the story. I guess perhaps i will stop there, as it is late and I need to think some more before I continue on. Perhaps change some things, or add some more background detail. Im not sure yet. Perhaps I will write my story as if writing letters. Either way I will continue with the next chapter a little later.



Sincerely Yours,

Racheal