The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

"IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM,

DON'T BREED EM!"



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Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.



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If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.



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The Earth Is Full - Go Home.



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I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.



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So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.



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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.



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If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?



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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.



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Illiterate? Write For Help.



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Honk If Anything Falls Off.



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Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.



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He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,

But is Miles From The Next Exit.



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I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits

With An Unarmed Person.



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I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.





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(The following bumper sticker was Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)



If You Can Read This,

Please Flip Me Back Over...



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Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph

Also Are Timed For 70 mph



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Guys: No Shirt, No Service

Gals: No Shirt, No Charge



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Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.



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Boldly Going Nowhere.



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Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.



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Heart Attacks: God's Revenge

For Eating His Animal Friends



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How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?

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All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.



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I may be fat, but you're ugly

and I can diet!



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AND Lastly:



"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS

BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED,

AND FOR THE SAME REASON

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.



After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.



When the results of the French study were released, Canada decided to conduct their own study. The Canucks didn't really trust British or French studies.



So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00, the Canadian study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead!