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the one thing i thought i would not do i did.....

she was at rock bottom.

then she was looking up and then i go and do this.....

i want to be happy but i cant.... it seems like we dont talk..... it seems like i am on a befent plant.... but im not im only 111 miles away.....

when you have no car and work more then 50 hours a week that doesnt leave you much time to wipe your ass.... let along go see you friend.... when you have to come home help clean it up ect ect........ but the good news is that he got a job and im not the only one working......

im want this to work i dont want to go back and be a fealer and run back to mommy no im not going to do that

for once in my life i know what i want.....

i want the man in my life and i want the friends that i love soo deeply..... i am happy really happy but yet there is some thing that is missing in my life down here.... i have the man, but im missing back home...... i would not think that i would miss my frends sooo much.... i hate that i could not talk to you.... like i want to i want the best of both world but i cant have them right know

Im sitting here today at his house

reading your Journals and thinking that I am going to miss you, and your Family.



I cant just call you up and asked to come over

Now you cant get away from it all.

I am going to missed you.

but it is not going to befor ever I am comming back when i get things stight.

Girl you are always going to be in my heart to let you know.



you are not just my friend you are my sister. you will always be my sister and my friend. you have been with my thought shit that i would not my worst emily to go thought.



I have you with me in my heart and soul. you are with me. I did not leave you. I will be back to see you and to keep you stight *smiles*



As I am sitting here and thinking back thought the years that we have togeather and all the shit that me and you have been thought. and we did not killed each other Man 18 years that is along time to know each other.



we have test each other to no other piont and back but we are here. and i will still here with you. Girl I LOVE YOU sooo much. Now im going to try to make on my own. Im sorry that i had to leave you and move 110 miles away, but im here you need me you know how to reach me. im going to try to get a cell phone when i get workking and get stuff stight. so we can call each other and want cost any thing



you mean the world to me and i glad that we got to go out New Years. Im sorry that you did not have fun. but I got to see you befor i left.



Charles came home sunday and told me that to pack my shit that he was going to bring me. i did not have time to tell anyone i called but i got the mechan and left a message but i dont know how much you heard of it.



I LOVE YOU AGAIN

well it happen and im going to up date everone on what going on...



well my now EX B/F broke up on the 22nd in Nov..

I meet this really great guy named Clarence. that i have been talking to as friends for like ummmm.... 5 or 6 mounths befor me and his broke up. He was there when I need a shoulder to cry on, becouse I found out that he no longer want to be with me and he was trying to get with my best friend and she had nothing to do with him. She was the one how told me about what he was doing behind my back and I thank her for going that... any way Clarence came and saw me on the 2nd of Dec. It was sherry(best friend) Bri (other best friend) Travis ( Bri's B/F) Clarence Scotty( Clarence's frirend) and I well all when out and did stuff togeather and had a Blast.... well on the dec 17th I when and saw him... we went to a X mass party i got shit faced... I staded with him untill that wensdays.... got home had a not all that good x mass New Years was better.... I got really really shit faced.... News Years day I movied in with now Im here with him and planed on getting marred some time late next this year or early next year... well now yall are all up to date... I hope yall have a good Year...