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i thought i was going to have along lasting realship with my boyfriend but right know it it is falling to pices as we speak. this one i really loved and love but something has happen i cant tell you what becouse idont know, but it has *retreats in the darkness* in the corner where where i need to be im going know

I just want to be left in the darkness along. how hard it to be left along. cant peolpe see that i want to be along in my own room in the dark. just me is that soo hard to respect that i gruss not then to be left alone to sit and cry just peace just once but do i get that no i dont. to sleep just to sleep with out destepend that all. to write with out beening enturopent is that too hard i gruss it is. i want peace to be alone i fell im sliping into disperssion again. but why sould i feel so bad i have everthing i could want. i have a great boyfriend and great friends who soppurt me thought very thing but yet im sad and lonly what is wrong with me

I sit here in my room thing about my friends lol god i would not trade any of the for anything. They are the ones have keep me here they where there in the time on need. what would i have done with out them i would have mostly died but they love me the most. Stange (lol) what can i say about her. she it the polor oppsit to me. what she does not like i do what i dont like she does, but we are pisces. we also share in the same things like panting, writing, Drawing and are love for Cats. she is the one how has always incouges me. Thanks! now there is Miss X. you and I really dont get a long as me and the rest of us do. but we are stills friends i will always be by your side when you need me. you no that. Cajun what can i say about you.(lol) well in the 8th grade we fought like cats in dogs (lol). now you have what i want the most in life and i hope you get are happy! now bad Baptist (lol) well now best friends for life the head of the group i would think even thought in the oldest HEHEHE. she is the heart and soul of us with out her i would never calm the temper as good as it is now (lol) im not push over ether. her famliy is mine. so is stanges this group i talk about now is the only people that have taking the time to show me Love. we have lose some to there owen lives. but i sit back are remember the good times that we had and the bad too. the sleep overs the turth and dare. taking hours and hours about guys we like. then the most importan time hold my hand as i gave up my child being there when i need to cry on someone shoulder telling me that it is ok. and now we hve lost someone cholse. it been hard but we are here of one others. and this is my famliy Love Yall :)

To my boyfriend,

You have already put up with soo much shit from me. The day we met has been forever imprinted on my mind. June 26, 2005 will always be a special day to me. Even though we met on unusual instances, we're still going on strong. After I got burn really bad, you were there for me. Never stopped caring. Even though I might have scars from the burns. I love talking to you... hearing you tell me that you love me. You melt my heart everytime. Travis, I Love You!!! And I'll never stop.

With all my love,

Rachel

all want to say is sorry Sherry for not beening there when you need me most. i was not thinking about you and what you need when are dad passed away almost 2 years ago your family was always there for me and how i repay you your closes friend so close im almost like family i left you at the most imporatom time that you need me i was not thinking about what you where going thought i was only thinking about me and sorry soo sorry i want him back just as much as you do i missed him soo much his hugs his percing i mean yall where there when i got perneit and who did i run to first was your family who was in the the hopity with me was you and Jen and you mom you saw me thought the wrought time in my life when i had to give my baby up you there to say it will get better but i leave you when you need me the most and cant say im sorry enoght it hurts me soo bad that you are hurting the way you it killes me it really does*hugs tight* will do any thing for you know that plaease come to me i want to help it is time for me to help you after you and your family has done soo much for me i can not repay for showing Love and how to Love*kisses you head* when you need a should to cry on im here just call i will walk if i have to and u know i will it is far but i will well it is what like 5 mile but is it is long when it is like 100 outside but i will go thought hell for you

Your Sister You Never Had

Rachel

well i have a bad feeling like there is going to be war in my house hold soon. Well is it usally is beween me and my mom but not this time it is going to beween me and my bother and it is not going to pretty im not a small person by any means i can handle myself pertty go i think but there is one person i can not handle is my bother. he is stongly and i am scardes if we fight then there is going to be WAR and it is eather Him or Me and it is most likly going to be Him Mister Perfect does nothing wrong he is always right. some time i just want to cut his heart out with a spoon and watch him bleed i have know pericy with him when he want to get on the comptur even thought it is mine he can i can not stop him he want unless im out of he is this house is not big enought for the both of us and that is the turth i want pieace and just to be left alone but no he is here and when he is here he is up my ass ~darkness

well it is 2 30 am and yet ather sleepness nite something i cant not help is to but my mine asleep it just keeps on think about thinks thinks that have happen over the day what im going to do tomorrow.. now is has got more becouse i had to be stupid at work and burn myself really bad...... it hurts and yes i have pain meds but im trying not to use them couse they are storng and im staying clean you could say.... also thinking about my Boyfriend who means the world to me and that does not help me much we have been dating a mouth 4 and it is great not to say that we have not share are lumps you could say...... right now Im typing this for the world to see and wancthing My Guines Pig (MoJoe) be himself running around in his cage eat make all the little noise that he makes...... then i have my big Dog Tessia a Rottie sleeping in the livingroom the Cats are outside doing there thing it is just that everthing is sleating down im still up thinking about Bull shit and Why that is what i have been wounding for all my 23 years on this earth........ well i think im going to check out more of this sit i will come back and entertane yall later with more thought from ME