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I lie awake, thinking of you.

Cliche, I know.

Laughable, even.

An entire year has washed over me.

And yet it feels as real as yesterday.



It bothers me.

Shaken, disturbed and smothered.

I gave you up.

I rejected you.

All me.



But now I'm the one lying awake.

I'm the one thinking of you.

Yearning for you.

Regret seeps into my flesh,

Almost as cold as the blowing snow.



Perhaps if I stood outside those flakes would warm me?

Warm the skin that was chilled by your absence.

Frozen in time.



I should hate you.

I know you hate me.

The things you whisper behind my back.

Untrue, resentful.

Painful.



All I can wish

Is for this desire and this pain,

To fade in the coming year...

And beg you, regret...

Release me.